i met an old woman

[Tortington]

who came to a conerence this weekend i was organising. she is a tenant o the housing place i work for. she lives in a sheltered scheme in a different region down dover way ( i live nr brighton) she got very upset during the day becuase she has never really got over the death of her husband 6 years ago ( she had me crying with her as she was telling me) she doesnt like the scheme where she lives but can't afford to move.

my point is this.

she was a nice lady and although i couldn't visit her becuase its too far. i am wondering whether i should send her a letter. i dont want to be formal but then i dont think it should be from me personally, but be from me on headed work paper ( hope your still understanding me) but i wanted to keep in contact with her and just send her a letter now and again.

what do you think?

How can it not be from you personally and why wouldn't you want it to be? I think sending her a letter is a lovely idea, whatever paper you decide to write it on!

I think if thats what you want to do then that is fine. sound sweet

how did that happen??????

sorry I am not barking but my message showed up as the first post but now it is back to normal, if you wonder what I am on about!

i think my Housing association miht get cross if i start coresponding with tenants on a personal level. thats why i think it must be through work - but then its gets all stuffy and bolloxy iykwim

There r adopt-a-granny type schemes -- like Homestart but 4 isolated oldies. Maybe U could contact 4 advice?

Is there anything you could do for her in a practical way?Perhaps looking intp her getting moved,that way it could be Housing Ass business,but would also let her know that she's not been forgotten by you on a personal level.

There is also a charity called Contact the Elderly which aims to take very isolated elderly people out to tea once a month to meet other people. The idea is that they re-build their social networks and become less isolated and less vulnerable. Their website is www.contact-the-elderly.org

Custardo, is there a housing association newletter or any other bumph that would interest here that you could send her, and enclose a personal letter with that?
I used to work for a housing association, and there were number of old ladies who still set a place at the dinner table for their deceased husbands .

T B H if you send it on headed paper you are involving work with what is primarily a personal issue- have you promised her help or just wantto be friendly - if you want to do it as ajesture tehn do it from yo u not on headed paper which makes it official and may scare /comfuse the lady.

T B H if you send it on headed paper you are involving work with what is primarily a personal issue- have you promised her help or just wantto be friendly - if you want to do it as ajesture tehn do it from yo u not on headed paper which makes it official and may scare /comfuse the lady.

thanks guys. like i said before i don't think th assoc. will let me contact her on a personal level so i think i will just send her a letter saying thanks for the chat and contact me whenever she likes for another chat.
thanks

good point gothic. its tricky

I think you should just drop her line thanking her for the chat and leave the door open fo rher to contact you as you said in 11:05 post

Does your housing association have a tenant participation unit? are there any ways yo couild encourage this lady could join in tenants groups and go to regular meetings, so she gets an extra interest (if she wants one) and you keep in contact. In our council, tenant participation officers seem to have formed close working friendships with tenants but I don't know how far this goes. I am on leave at the moment, custardo, but when I go back, I could tell them about your situation and ask advice. I think you're right not to put anything on headed paper BTW.

thnaks tm. i am a tp officer in effect but not in that region. i am aware of what groups are about and what communication we give to the residents and frankly we are piss poor. the lady herself doesnt sit at home listening to the clock she goes and helps at a loal nursery two mornings a week, she comes to conferences and things ( where i met her) and she is about to start a drawing and painting class. she doesnt want to move beucase of the cost and frankly i dont think she wants me to do anything for her. i think she just needed someone to talk to as she was feeling low. i wanted to make contact with her to let her know i haven't forgotten about her and to let her know i wasn't being a partronising suit doing the head nodding bit and then forgetting all about her.

i think i will tell my collegue about her and explain the situation and ask if he has any suggestions

LOl @ 'patronising suit doing the head nodding bit'. IKWYM. Very difficult to know what more to suggest. I think talking to your colleague is best.

Also, What abouit mentioning it to your manager? tell them you're intending to send her the odd letter (not on headed notepaper). If your manager is OK about it, then at least you have clearance - could you email your manager and get them in a roundabout way to email their approval or at least an acknowledgement of your email, so you have proof they knows and are ok about it - just to cover your back?