Why do people get engaged with no intention of getting married?

[Y0rkshirelass]

Not being funny, I just don't understand it. A woman I work with has been engaged for 14 years and has no intention of getting married. I mean, surely you get 'engaged to be married', don't you?
Please someone explain it to me.

oh it makes me laugh

I remember when I got engaged to dh and someone looked suprised when i said we were getting married!!!

Maybe they have never been able to afford it?

Or

It's the next step a man/woman [reluctant to commit] can take to progress a relationship, without actually getting married

Yeah I did wonder about it being the 'next step' on the commitment ladder.
She does refer to her fella as her fiance, but when asked if they've set a date she always says they don't want to get married.

Eh?

What crack me up is when people say 'Oh we're getting engaged on Christmas Eve or whatever.
So that means that at 11:59 on 23rd December,you're not engaged,right???

Que??

wwell i dont understand that either moonmdog
romance is dead

LOL

Someone else I know announced that he and his girlfriend had 'got engaged over Christmas and New Year'.

So did it take over 7 days for him to ask or for her to answer??

We never really discussed getting engaged. Dh asked me to marry him 4 months after we met. I said no. He then asked me at 8 months & I said no. When we had been together a year, he got down on one knee in a shopping centre carpark & asked me again.. I said yes & we walked into the shopping centre & picked & bought my ring!! That was September. We got married the next April.

I have an aunt who has been engaged for 30 years

For a ring? (woman)

To shut her up (man)

Why not Gamepoint?
The actual ceremony has nothing to do with the love I fell for my dh.After 18 years together,I feel our relationship is pretty damned romantic.
He's err.....all over me as I write.

its chavvy

Sorry.
Wrong thread.

fff2 that's lovely

ROFL @ twentypence!

I've never understood the "we're going to get negaged on......" routine. Surely once you've decided you're going to get married/get engaged/accept a proposal of marriage (which after all is what an engagement is), then you are engaged? [hmmm]

Maybe to some people the traditional meaning of engaged has changed from 'we are planning to get married' to 'I am wearing a sparkly and therefore more superior than you pleb co-habiters', I dunno

I was engaged for 10 years to my last partner. It turned out that he didn't want children and we weren't going to go ahead with getting married until we could resolve the issue. We couldn't and I left him in the end.

We should really have sorted out the children issue before he proposed, but we were young and I thought he'd change his mind and I think he did too.

It was one of the first things I asked dh when we got together because I wasn't going through that again.

I don't see why anyone would be engaged for more than say 2 years maximum.

During that time, you should be able to sort out issues like when you're getting married, where you're living, changing jobs etc if necessary.

Not being able to afford it isn't an excuse, weddings can cost as little as you want.

no idea... dp specifically isn't proposing to me even though we want to get married as he doesn't want to be engaged til we can afford to get married.

mad to be engaged otherwise isn't it?

I've been engaged for five years. At first we had every intention of getting married within a year but we just ran out of steam I guess. Since then we've talked about getting married abroad, but my family are dead against it, so still haven't gotten round to it. In the menatime we've bought two houses, had DS and had a big naming cermony party for him so we could have done it but it's become less of priority for us. DP is very romantic so it's not that and practically it would be much easier to be married. I think we'll do it one day, just need to pull our fingers out, stop letting my family block us, and organise it.

Agree with the OP. You get engaged to get married.

If there is no specific plan to get married (i.e. date/venue/guest list being arranged), then you aint engaged imo.

I got engaged 15 years ago with every intention of getting married.....8 kids have come along since then and can't afford it....our own fault....so i am still engaged and thinking when the children are older me and DP going away and getting married on a beach somewhere....just us 2....and congratulate ourselves on staying together even after having 8 kids.......we'll see, i hope so though!

anyway...haven;t got him quite perfect yet...PMSL!

xx

I don't know why.

My SIL was 'engaged' to her partner for years.

But she didn't marry him and as he was abusive and a drug dealer, we're all just glad she got out of the relationship allright.

Yes, I agree. IMO being engaged is the period between agreeing that you're going to get married to the actual wedding day, during which, you're planning the wedding. I can see the point though of delaying the wedding if you have issues to sort out, like Surfermum, or other things get in the way meaning your plans have to be postponed.