What do you get up to during the week?

[bubblymum]

I have two children aged 3 and 1 and i seem to have loads of 'empty days' with nothing planned and no-one to see yet when i do chat to other mothers they all seem to be so busy! Although i do do loads with the kids i feel a bit of an oddity that i am always at a loose end and doing things on my own and just taking each day as it comes. I'm a very happy bubbly person (as the name indicates) yet i don't seem to be finding it easy to make friends, i've been to several toddler groups and perservered for several weeks but although i'm outgoing and chat people seem to be stuck in their own little groups. I have found some people to be really competitive and get eyed up and down and ignored! If i give people my telephone number they never call and everyone else seems to be inundated with friends............what do most other people get up to during the week? do you do alot on your own?

Message withdrawn

I live in Mid Sussex and left behind loads of friends when we moved here.

Work

Well, this week we spent a day at the beach, a day in the paddling pool, a day at the shopping centre and two days at home playing, cooking, running about, cycling, painting and generally messing about. My DS is 4 and we also don't really know many people but I think this is mainly a language barrier problem because we live abroad and aren't yet fluent but I still find it really depressing on occasions and I long for some friends for me aswell as DS. I guess we just have to keep trying really!

swimming, tumbletots, farm parks, play pub... relatives
mmm I sometimes feel I do not do enough with my dd either though...

Jo Jingles Tumble Tots , swimming, Toddler groups, wacky warehouse, mumsnet meet ups.

Have a 4yr ds and 2 year old dd, on a normal week ds goes to nursery for half the week, take dd to Jo Jingles and Tumble Tots, a morning food shopping (oh joy), a friends for tea every two weeks, one morning we go to the library, one afternoon do cooking and the rest in garden or playing in house. That doesnt sound enough but the weeks fly by. In holiday time we visit friends and relatives more.

The library is a popular one here - they have a singing group and a story telling on different afternoons. We try to do things most days but leave one free for errands like shopping and stuff. Have you tried your local Childrens Information service (run by local council)? They will have ideas - maybe you should try a smaller more specific group which may be easier to make friends. We did music for 2 years up until last week () and there were only 6 7 Mums and their children so we all became good friends.
whereabouts are you in Sussex?

We moved 5 months ago, will move again in 2 weeks, and also run the danger of doing almost bugger all except days when DS went to playgrp. It's hard when U don't know anybody locally, even harder if you're also skint!

I used 2 go 2 a lot of mum+tots groups, but there r few in this area, & where we're moving too. Otherwise, even in winter, we go 2 playgrnds in 3 hour blocks. Go watch trains at the station, go watch planes if U live nr. a small airport, go watch diggers & cranes on building sites, go 4 walks in woods, by the lake.

story time at libary, singing/play group, loads of walks, park, meeting with friends etc.

you could get their phone numbers instead, chances are they are not ringing through shyness rather than not wanting to meet.

also keep trying different toddler groups till you find one that suits you. have you got a childrens information service nearby? or you could google activities for children in ***.

good luck

playgrounds are great places - the kids run off together and you get to talk to the other parents about all the dangerous stuff they are doing on the climbing frame!

toddler groups are funny places ime, unless you start off by going with someone or have a tiny baby which seems to break the ice, they can be clicky. I used to feel a bit out of place at our toddler group, but ds loved it so we kept going - when they asked for committee members I volunteered, that way I instantly got to know everyone and was in the middle of it rather than being on the edge. Making sure you offer to help out at any party/fundraiser is a good way to get involved too.

I've been to virtually every toddler group and there are quite a few. Will contact local council though thanks

We have been going to playgroup, music session for nearly 3 years and although we talk to people there have made no friends that we meet outside those sessions. We have also been going to an NCT coffee group - again very friendly but we rarely meet up outside the actual coffee session - everyone always seems too busy or it isn't posisble to fit it in with work commitments etc.

We have only me one person who lives locally who we get together with now and again).

Mostly like you we end up doing things on our own in an ad-hoc way.

So I am no help to you at all - but just wanted to let you know you aren't the only one

music, playgroup, visit zoo, nursery, gym, swimming, toddler group. That would be a typical week - I tend to have one day 'free' for doing unplanned things. We also try and go for lots of walks and that sort of thing.

Is your older child at nursery school? I have met a lovely circle of friends through my oldest's nursery school, we meet up as often as we can, if not with the kids then in the evening. A mum of one of DS1's little pals just suggested a play date one day and we went from there. Why not try doing that, ie tie someone down (in a nice way of course) to a date instead of just giving a phone number? What we do BTW, when I'm not working, playschool for DD, NCT coffee group when we can, regular Friday toddler group and then also Friday gym session for my pre-schoolers. Know some people at both these quite well and meet up with some in hols. Also meet up with friends generally from nursery school days and NCT friends. Try to go to free/cheap events locally eg craft days at country parks, events at NT houses, children's sessions at museums, local gala days at the weekend etc. Planning to arrange some dates with school friends during the hols. I think it's just a question of suggesting something to people - they are usually happy to fall in with you if you have made the effort (eg, say kids and I are off to an event at the country park next wednesday, would you like to come too? - if it's an organised event then you're not stuck with having to make chat in your sitting room if you find that tricky) I find if people are not able to make room for us/don't seem keen that's fine, I'm not offended, we'll just do something else.

Bubblymum, I also find it quite hard to make friends (and I don't have the advantage of being bubbly, I'm quite shy!). I have been in this area for a few months and go to lots of toddler groups etc, but people already seem to know each other and stick in their groups. I have met one other mum in the local park and we meet up occasionally. I'm dreading the summer break, as all the playgroups close for 6 weeks, so I'll be improvising as well and working out how to meet lots of people from September.