Seriously stressed about my driving test.

[Smurfgirl]

I am going to take my driving test again soon - for the 5th time

When I last took my tests about 3 years ago I was totally messed up, I was self harming, and after failing my test the 4th time I cried through-out and eventually I stopped the test halfway through (messed up parking - automatic fail), told the examiner to fuck off and spent an hour sobbing before I went home and cut my arm to shreds - most of the scars on my left arm are from failing my driving test. I saw failing the test as a sign that I was a failure.

I know none of this is true now, I know I am absolutely fine, and my apparent inability to park a car in a test does not make me a bad person. But I do have a LOT of emotion tied up in driving tests, I feel sick at the thought of it, lessons are fine but the test, God. But I desparetely want and need to pass my test.

I am absolutely terrified. I am so so scared of failing again. And I do find it hard not being able to pissing pass the test! And I am so so sick of people badgering me about it. Honestly I know it sounds ridiculous and I am not precious about anything but I can't bare to talk about my driving test.

I will get through this, and I will pass the flaming thing and be fine. But I do find this very very difficult. I won't hurt myself again or anything but its the emotions and feelings tied up in that bad time of my life. And it is hard failing it 4 times - not exactly a confidence booster!

Hmm.

Good luck Smurfgirl.

I know several people who have passed on the fifth time, some even on the the eigth try so you are not alone or the worst! Out of the people I know who have written off cars most of them passed first time...

Try not to concentrate on the bad aspects & maybe try to think of it as being related to future freedom, rather than linked to the past? The key thing is not to give up if this is something you want to do. It is hard to fail anything & driving tests are especially stressful. I was shaking on my third test I was soo worried about it!

Hopefully others will add some more useful comments.

tbh if it has that much tied up with it some cbt specifically for it would be a good idea.

Smurfgirl,i'm sorry i don't have any suggestions that would help you but i just wanted you to know that i think you are brill to go through the hell of 4 tests.I understand the fear of failing as i am currently learning to drive and i'm very nervous anyway so god help me if i ever have to sit a test.You have been through it 4 times already so you can do it again.
Dont tell anyone that you are doing it.
Good luck to you
xxxx

MrsA I am therapied out - I may contact my old therapist though. I have lots of coping mechanisms as well, think its just something I will get over when it comes to it!

i passed 6th time, so youre still beating me (and im a bloody brilliant driver, me, dont know WHAT they were thinking, the sods)

ok, my Top Tips:

-take aspirin before the test. cams your nerves apparently.

-get your instrctor to sit in the back. they cant say anything or do owt to help, but if they are there, the examiner has to be fair and cant fail you on a whim or to fill quotas or anything (which may be a myth, but who knows)
and also, if you DO fail again, they will have seen exactly where you went wrong and be able to work on that specific prob to get you ready for next time.

GOOD LUCK and try to remember it not the be all and end all. the world will not end, the seas will not dry, your teeth will not fall out... theres always next time. chin up!

This is a bit sad but I do feel better getting it out - I know I will pass eventually and I am very motivated to pass at the moment!! Going out driving tomorrow to practice with my dad.

Nappies - did you get sick of people going on at you about it?

I passed the third time by taking Kalms they really worked for me.

god yes.
i actually had a couple of cars (one here and one in Oz) and drove them illegally VERY naughty and i dont approve of it at all.... but people went on and on at me, while still accepting lifts, which pissed me off no end.

and everyone i know passed first time!!! sods.

i tell you, it was the best feeling EVER when he finally said id passed!! i nearly fainted with shock!

I really really can't wait to pass and I know it will be 100% worth it!!

I just need to tell myself that if I do fail I can try again, and its ok to fail!

I'm taking my second test soon. Get some Kalms and Bach Rescue and just before your test eat a banana. All help to calm the nerves.

I am so not a nervous person and am normally so laid back but taking the test was the worst thing I've had to do - would rather sit an A'level exam than the test.

I knew I had failed on my manoeuvre but just kept going as I had nothing to lose - just thought 'what the hell I'll enjoy the drive'

SmurffGirl - I am not sure how you feel about using medication to help with any nervous aspect (and I realise from your post that it probably goes deeper than straightforward nervousness) but if you see your GP they will be able to prescribe beta-blockers which are stronger than the Kalms suggested here.

DP is a driving instructor - and although the average pupil will pass after 1-2 tests he has just had one pupil pass after 7 tests. She was a better driver than many of his first time passers but she just fell to pieces on her tests. In the end she got the beta-blockers and passed next time.

I think you have to get them a couple of weeks in advance as I think you have to 'test them out' before you actually want to benefit from them.

As others have said - you can have someone ride in the back if it makes you feel more comfortable - your instructor, partner anyone.

Good luck - it is only a matter of time and it is a skill that is so worth having. Perserve - good things come to those who wait.

SMS - thats a lovely post