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Original poster

Do you think this is ok?

22 replies

Smurfgirl · 03/04/2007 12:19

I didn't know where to put this so I hope its ok to put it here.

I had a chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage in July (i think it was chemical personally) and so I know it was not a real pregnancy or anything. But if it had been I would have just had a baby and I feel really sad about that today.

I don't want a baby at all. We have no money, we are unmarried and this is not want we want at this point in our life. And even in a funny way it crystallised what we wanted in terms of children and we are planning to TTC in 3 years so its not a long way away at all! So it was not all bad.

And I know it was not even like a real thing, but i do feel so sad that I don't have a baby at the moment. I can't tell anyone irl because my friends would think I am loopy!
Do you think its ok to feel like this?

OP posts:

MamaG · 03/04/2007 12:20

of course it is ok smurfgirl - hope you feel happier soon

MG72 · 03/04/2007 21:38

hey it is not just ok, it is really understandable. Especially since you plan a baby in the future - you are bound to feel sad for the baby that didn't happen.

I hope some chocolate and a glass of wine help - and if not, at least enjoy a full night's sleep, because all too soon you won't get them any more

ChocolateGirl · 03/04/2007 22:00

Of course it's ok, smurfgirl, it's more than ok, it's very human and motherly and poignant...

I don't really know what else to say to you, I'm afraid, as it's not a situation I've been in. But hugs to you, be kind to yourself this week, and maybe just dwell a bit on the positive that came out of it - clarifying what you wanted regarding children.

take care x

singingmum · 03/04/2007 22:06

It's def ok.I had false p I went to 5 months with it went to doc who was convinced that I was as stomach even reacted right.You have every right to feel sad as it feels real it is in many ways the same as a real misscarriage(and in fact I found my real mcarriage easier to deal with)
It's natural to feel this way.You will get over it

chocolateface · 03/04/2007 22:08

Mmm... I felt just like this nine years ago. It was so the wrong time to have a baby: I had a job I loved, we were planning to get married sometime, we really couldn't afford it,we were doing up a house, DH didn't feel he was ready, and I wanted a few more fab sunbathing holidays. The trouble was I let it nag at me, and although it wasn't planned, (YES REALY!)I got pregant. He's now a brilliant 8 yo, but I'd rather have had him a couple of years later. Hold in there, I know just how you feel. HUGS.

princesscc · 03/04/2007 22:12

Of course its OK! I suffered 2 ectopics within 6 months of each other and sadly I can't conceive natually anymore, but I still give a thought to the fact that I don't have those babies. They would have been 5 & 4 now (alhough there is a chance the second one wouldn't have been - if the first one had been ok iyswim)

Original poster

Smurfgirl · 03/04/2007 23:53

Thanks

OP posts:

hunkermunker · 03/04/2007 23:54

Yes, sweetheart, it's fine to feel like that.

I'm glad you're still posting btw - how are the wedding plans going?

nallyschocolateorange · 03/04/2007 23:57

singingmum - did you have any scans? sorry for being nosey. i don't really know how these things work.

Original poster

Smurfgirl · 04/04/2007 00:21

Thanks HM Felt a bit silly after huffing off but felt drawn back

I am trying on some dresses on on Thursday actually. I will post some links to the ones I try on when I get back.

We booked the cars recently {http://www.yourweddingcar.com/duchess.htm\here} a bit extravagant but hey!

OP posts:

Original poster

Smurfgirl · 04/04/2007 00:22

Sorry.

cars

OP posts:

wrinklytum · 04/04/2007 01:01

Oh hon,so sorry about your mc of course it is OK to feel like this.Look after yourself.Hugs.

hunkermunker · 04/04/2007 01:03

Oh, lovely cars, SG! We had one similar to the one with the black running board - was lovely!

Original poster

Smurfgirl · 04/04/2007 01:13

Its a half hour drive from the church to the reception so I figured we may as well be comfy and my dress won't get smooshed because the car is so big. I am quite looking forward to people looking at the car as well! I love trying to see brides in their wedding cars.

HM - you have always been lovely to me on mumsnet, I know that sounds cheesy but it really is much appreciated x

OP posts:

hunkermunker · 04/04/2007 01:15

It's fab being in a big posh car in a gorgeous dress with everyone looking and smiling at you - loads of people beep their horns and wave at you too - loved it!

SG, you're a sweetheart - easy to be nice to someone who's lovely

FloatingInChocolateFondue · 04/04/2007 01:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Smurfgirl · 04/04/2007 01:24

FloatinginChocolateFondue its when the egg is fertilised but never implants I believe.
My period was a day late and I got a positive result on that day and for 2 days after then negative. Blood tests showed I was not pregnant. Apparently its quite common - but most women just assume their period is a day late.

Hunker - thanks! x

OP posts:

FloatingInChocolateFondue · 04/04/2007 01:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

singingmum · 04/04/2007 10:13

Nally no I didn't go to the docs untill 5 mnths as hate docs and wanted to just make sure and then I just seemed to keep putting it off,Foolish I know but I felt like I had during my 1st pregnancy.I went nuts when a week after visiting the doc had a normal monthly

FloatingInChocolateFondue · 05/04/2007 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

growingbagpuss · 05/04/2007 12:37

Smurfgirl - you're not loopy at all - i had a chemical pregnancy in the autumn - did test on my 30th b'day was SOOO chuffed - then 6 weeks later got period. Had scan and NASTY (MALE) sonographer said "well, there's no sign of a pregnancy here - it doesn't look like you were pregnant at all". Well fine - but I had never heard of a chem pg b4 and only did when discussing possible ectopic (now happily 5mnth pg) with consultant.

I was desparate to get pg - my best friend was, and we wanted to have babes as close as poss - it wasn't to be, but it was sad, and I certainly think about where I would be if it had become a proper pg

SaintGeorge · 05/04/2007 13:03

Of course it's ok to feel like this H.

Borrow my two little darlings for a day or 3 ('tis half term you know, I'm going loopy) and the feeling will vanish I promise. Probably for life

Hope you and J are both well.

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