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Feeling ungrateful

4 replies

Strikaa · 05/09/2017 21:21

My birthday had passed recently and the guy I've been dating decides to split a non expensive gift with my roommate.
Background: About a week before my birthday, my roommate and I had a bad fall out and didn't speak up until my birthday. I expressed to the guy I was dating that being what happened between us was so bad and she hasn't spoke to me at all, a gift would not be genuine from her. I felt like it would be a reciprocation because I recently gave her something for her birthday.
He knows how I feel and he know that at this moment that if she where to get me a gift, it would hold no real value. The day before my birthday, she gives me the gift stating it was from her and the guy I was dating. WIERD So I accepted but feelsad that because it came from her, it don't really hold any value to me. He wasn't even there when she gave me the gift but I told him/her thanks. I then asked (start of the problem) whose idea was it to split gifts... I asked because my roommate and I had a talk before about a gift not holding the same weight if it's shared. I also spoke to her before about my excitement because he's been saying he wanted to do something nice for me.
I began to think he possibly asked her for advice on what to give me because I know he's not a gift giver I help choose others gifts . Being that we had a good friendship and spoke a lot on things in relationships, my roommate should have known NOT to share a gift. Could've given him an idea. She wouldn't like if her only gift was something cheap split between her boyfriend and I (Imagine the only gift you receive on your birthday is a gift split between a roommate who's recently disrespected you and someone you're dating)
I'm not saying a gift has to be expensive but it's easily read that no thought was put into the gift whatsoever. I have very sensitive skin so it's rare that I wear jewelry and that's what it was. Even if he just bought a bear, planned a day that involves NO MONEY, I didn't care, I just wanted some thought in it so the present feels empty to me. It was a gift receipt dated the day before I got the gift which means it was last minute, I don't feel like it was any thought put into it.
He's mad at me now because I questioned why he split it with her. He says sometimes I just need to be happy. I know you should be grateful to receive any gift. But 1. He wasn't there when I got the gift. 2. The last time the person who's physically giving me the gift interacted, I was getting disrespected. 3. He knows everything and still decided to split with her if ANYBODY.
So right now, I feel ungrateful but in the same notion, I feel like I'm not being listened to. I want to love this bracelet so much but can't. This would've been his first gift for me so I expected it to be something from just him. Idk, I think I should've kept my mouth closed now. He's not talking to me.

OP posts:
artiface · 05/09/2017 21:37

Maybe he thought you'd react badly if the roomie bought you a gift (as you said it 'would hold no real value ' (she couldn't really win there) so he was being nice to both of you i.e. buying you a gift and helping you and your roomie make amends.
A guy I was seeing once bought me some earrings and I told a friend they weren't what I'd normally wear and she just said 'you were given something. Be grateful someone cared'
Lots of people buy gifts close to the date, does it matter?

Strikaa · 05/09/2017 21:55

If it's my birthday, why worry about my roommate?

OP posts:
Strikaa · 05/09/2017 21:57

If he said they had been got the bracelet, in response to why split with her then I'd assume it was bought before the incident between my roommate and I.

OP posts:
artiface · 05/09/2017 22:03

Why worry about someone else?! Well perhaps he's a nice person! If that was part of his motivation then its trying to repair your relationship with your roommate

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