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Original poster

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

16 replies

woodpop · 29/03/2007 11:58

I really, really need some friendly advice. I've not been on MN for several months but I hope you'll all be able to help. I've been married for 8 years and been with dh for 13. trouble is I've fallen out of love with him. I love him like a brother . Another problem is I met someone at work and have fallen for the charm hook line and sincker. All I can think of is getiing a home for me and the kids and trying to start my life again, happy. I've been plodding along with my life unhappy for a very long time. I've always felt dh never wanted dd who is now 4. Can someone talk so sence into me please?? My head is all over the place at the moment and don't know what to do. Tried speaking to my mum who has called me selfish and dispicable

OP posts:
MIFfyEasterBunny · 29/03/2007 12:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

willywonkasEgghunt · 29/03/2007 12:23

Are your feelings for your colleague due to the attention/compliments/interest you receive from him and that you don't feel you receive from dh? Either way, I agree with Miffy that you ought to address any issues with dh before looking elsewhere because the grass does always appear greener. Assuming that nothing has happened with said colleague then it probably wouldn't be a good idea to mention anything about it because there's nothing to tell.

BTW I'm really sorry to hear that you're not receiving support from your Mum on this. I think her comments were very hurtful when you're clearly feeling in a difficult position

GandWJ · 29/03/2007 12:27

It does sound like you see this new person as an escape route from your current sitution which might make him seem even more attractive.
If things aren't right with your DH, then I think you should look at resolving them before looking at any new relationship.

cathcart · 29/03/2007 12:40

bump for u, sorry in a rush

Original poster
woodpop · 29/03/2007 14:01

Hmm, dh knows about this other bloke . Friends of dh followed me on a night out with work and caught me kissisng this chap . They then bundled me into their car took me to their house where I was questioned for ages!!!! It was like an episode of the sopranos. I felt really hurt to have been followed and am feeling lonely and that I have no one to turn to at the moment. I have just rung up relate to ask about councelling.

OP posts:
Carmenere · 29/03/2007 14:05

Kissing another man is totally unacceptable whilst still married however they had no right to follow, kidnap and question you
I would be trying to get away from that type of life where this is seen as ok.

willywonkasEgghunt · 29/03/2007 14:14

Still reckon that you ought to leave well alone with this colleague until you have sorted things out with dh, one way or another. After so long together do you not owe it to dh and/or to your relationship to try and find out what the root cause of any problem is first? If you then decide to leave, it will at least be for the right reasons and not because you're flattered by a bit of unexpected attention.

Original poster
woodpop · 29/03/2007 14:24

I know kissing another man whilst married is unacceptable and believe me I didn't know I had it in me. I've totally shocked myself with my behaviour. This other bloke has over the past few days gone very cold on me anyway. I was never under any illusion over that one anyway. Just found it extreamly flattering to feel wanted and atractive. Somthing dh hasn't really ever done. He's not very good with emotion. All I'm trying to concentrate on is me and the kids and the three of us being happy in a new home. Fresh start and all that.

OP posts:
willywonkasEgghunt · 29/03/2007 14:30

Sounds like you have made your mind up to leave already. Does dh know anything about this?

Original poster
woodpop · 29/03/2007 14:38

He's gone away for a few days so I can have some space. We were tripping over each other at home and it was getting quite uncomfortable

OP posts:
willywonkasEgghunt · 29/03/2007 14:40

I suppose it's really a question of whether you want to save what you have or not. What did Relate say when you called?

Original poster
woodpop · 29/03/2007 14:45

At the moment I can't ever see the love returning. Relate were very helpful. THey could get me in within 7-10 days. And then you negotiate a fee with them that you can afford for any other appointments.

OP posts:
willywonkasEgghunt · 29/03/2007 14:46

Would you want to go along? With or with dh?

willywonkasEgghunt · 29/03/2007 14:47

You can probably guess that I meant "with or without"

Carmenere · 29/03/2007 15:31

Hellooooo???? Did noone else think it is a bit strange that Woodpops dh's friends followed her, kidnapped her and questioned her? Get away from this man asap.

willywonkasEgghunt · 29/03/2007 15:36

I assumed from woodpop's understated reference that it wasn't an aggressive act. I refer to being "bundled into a car" when I've been a little bit rowdy after one too many ales. As for being followed, again I assumed from the tone that they simply followed them out of the venue where they also happened to be worried that something was on the cards, which sounds like the sort of thing I would do if I was concerned that a friend - or a friend's partner, if I knew them well enough - was about to compromise their relationship with a drunken fling.

Woodpop, I apologise if I misunderstood.

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