Inheritance

[cheekymonk]

Evening all! just wondered as I have never inherited any money before. My nan died a month ago and we were very close.
Still feeling very lost and alone.
She didn't have a will but left instructions with my mum. She has left her money to be split in half between my sister and I (none for my mum as my nan thought she was confortable enough money wise!). My sister is going on to my Mum as she wants money for a deposit on a house . My mum thinks this is disgusting and disrespectful and has warned me it could be at least 3 months! I have to admit that I think my mum is hanging on to it a bit because she doesn't trust us with it. What is the normal amount of time?

if there is no will then there is a chance you will get nothing as it will be up to the next of kin to sort it. I think.

probate can take months, if not years, especially if there is no will...there is a line that it will follow, with the next of kin inheriting first, so if no spouse , i think it is children who get the estate

then it is up to your mum really , as if there is no will, then there is no way to prove what your nan would have wanted to do with her estate...

i would come to terms with the fact it will be months and you might get nothing

DH is a probate lawyer and says if the wishes are not being challenged it should take about 3-4 months.

Money won't go automatically to you and sister though. It would go to grandfather if one, otherwise will go in equal shares to her children (your mum and any other siblings). Up to them how they then deal with the money.

If your mum's an only child though then the fact she's told you that's what your nan wanted must mean she plans to follow her instructions.

It will take ages for the money to come though though. Sorry you've lost your nan .

Sorry to hear about your nan.

If there is no will, it is known as 'intestate'. The monies are shared between a spouse and children. If there is no spouse, your nan's children share the monies. I'm afraid it is irrelevant what your nans wishes were if she didn't leave a will.

Of course, it is up to your mum.... the money would be paid to her and her siblings (if she has any) If she then wishes to pass her share on to your sis and you, that is her decision. But she is not required to do so by law.

Probate is only required if your nan left property, stocks and shares and building society accounts etc. If the amount left is fairly small, probate would not be needed. If Probate has to be applied for, it has by law to be applied for within 6 months of the dae of death.

The whole process of winding up someones affairs can take a very long time, depending on how complicated they were... I know this from experience!

Thanks all. I do miss my Nan terribly even though I lived 3 hours away from her, it was knowing she was there...
As for the money then Mum seems to be doing it all without any solicitor or legal involvement. She just thinks it is a moral issue. Nan didn't own any property or shares or anything. My Mum's brother died last year (this contributed to her own death we think- a broken heart). It is all left to my Mum really which is a huge pressure and responsibility. Also complicated by the fact that Mum and Nan didn't really get on that well and Mum is struggling with her own mixed up feelings.

morally your sister can do what she wants with the money. and deposit for a house doesn't seem morally represensable to me in any way. i dont really kow what your mums on about.

telll you sister to nod in the riht places and keep her gob shut until she has the money.

Should also add that Mum was already the signatory for Nan's bank account before Nan died so there is no issue there. if she wanted to, she could give my sister and I the money "today".

Mum feel that it is mercenary to be asking for the money and disrespectful to how hard Nan worked and saved to gain that m=money. She is using to measure and state that maybe my sister and I couldn't have loved my nan that much.
Thanks Iamnotcusty made me smile!!!

she's playing a very silly game your mum.

becuase she could end up losing the rest of her family over money.

family and money don't mix and if she keeps it up she will end up having two daughters who may not speak to her for a very long time

the problem is, without a will, then your mum can do whatever she wants, and a month after her death ,to be asking for the money, might seem a bit quick off the mark.....you say your sister is 'going on to your mum', well, your mum has lost her mum, and might want some time to clear her head

if your grandma had no property etc...realistically, how much money will there be to divide up?

why don't you offer to help you mum sort out the probate thing - suggest that it might be a bit daunting and complicated - especially when she is coping with losing her mum and brother in quick succession. Suggest maybe you can take some of the paperwork off her hands.

If your mum was named as party to the account (like a joint account for example) then she can get hold of the money. But if she was just a signatory then she may not be able to. When I worked in banking, that sort of arrangement was suspended on the death of the account holder.

If there is quite a bit of money, even if it's cash in an account, your mum may have to apply for Letters of Administration (like Probate but for when there is no Will) and it can take some time.

The bottom line is that if your nan did not leave a will then the money will legally be left to her next of kin, and it could take some time to sort out. 'instructions' mean very little, legally! It will, as far as I know, be down to how far your Mum thinks she should carry out her Mum's wishes. SAdly, dying without a will can cause exactly this sort of upset within families.

I hope your Mum settles down and gives you and your sister the money soon. is it that your Mum is grieving and all she can see is people asking for the oney? get your sister to look at it from your Mum's point of view. Did your Mum take responsibility for day to day care of your Nan?

Well my nan was in hospital for the last 4 weeks of her life. my mum and sister alternated visiting her. Often my mum didn't go because she found it depressing and tiring. Nan died of a stroke in the end. I was looking after ds and dh in navy so I only made it up the night she died. She died 10 mins after I arrived which was pretty harrowing.
I'm not sure if signatory is the right word but I was with mum when she easily withdrew the money from Nan's account to pay for her funeral as Nan had requested.
I offered to help sort out nan's flat when i was up but Mum refused saying it was too distressing for me. Yes it would have been but now my Dad has been left with doing it because noone else can face it. I would have done it, I wanted to help.
I think there is about 15 to 16 grand saved up.
I am certain it is not legality that is stopping mum but more the thought of us being moneygrabbing.

It all sounds very sad and harrowing, Cheekymonk.
Do you htink your Mum intends to honour your nan's wishes?
The problem is that the more your sister asks, the more your Mum will have it in her mind that she is moneygrabbing.
Do you think it is fair that your Mum gets nothing form your nan's savings? is your Mum living comfortably with no money worries? Would it help if you and your sister said 'Mum, we're awae that nan said she would pass her money to us, but we don't want to see you struggle, shall we share it out equally/' - then your Mum might say 'oh no, your nan wanted you to have it...'. Reverse psychology! But you know your Mum best!

well my uncle died 2 years ago and left mum about £40,000 plus a house. My mum is very comfortably off hence nan not leaving her anything. I understand what Nan was trying to do butI can see why Mum would be hurt.
Yes I only asked mum once about nan's money and she flew off the handle whereas my sister is constantly asking which must be annoying but I know my sister is just excited!. She loved my nan dearly and i know that but agree it could seem callous.
I am struggling and need a new boiler which mum is going to pay for to help us out then sort of take the money back when she gives me nan's money.
I got so angry at my mum insuating we didn't love Nan especially when she rarely had a good word to say about her. I am trying to give mum some slack at a difficult time but feel that she is pushing us away. Thanks Blu.

Thank you all for your opinions. really wanted to hear what others thought.

I think you and your sister need to take a step back for a while. Even if relatively simple, it is still going to take 3-4 months minimum for the estate to be sorted out - and some things may take longer. If doing it herslef and without legal help you may find it takes a little longer than that too. It's only been a month, so very little will have been finalised and sorted out yet TBH!

So sorry for your loss These times are often very stressful, with lots of emotions running high because of the loss affecting everyone.

Thanks Hulababy. Am trying hard to be a good daughter and keep the peace really.