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Original poster

Calling Janstar!! and anyone else who might be able to help me stay here!

39 replies

essbee · 12/07/2004 22:02

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chloeb2002 · 12/07/2004 22:13

Hey there i dont know much about this but as i assume you have kids together i thought he has a right to provide a roof? I also thought there was something about you having a right to the house? Look into housing benefit for your area and rental prices?? I dont think you could get a council rent but you can be put on the list and pay all or some of the rent if you ever got one. Its done on a points basis. i have no savings and as my mother could provide me with a roof and a shared room for me and DD i got no points! so i think it must be tough! Try the Citizens advice ??? they should be able to help?

kalex · 12/07/2004 22:24

Esbee,

I didn't buy my ex out, after months of saying that I would have the house "over his dead body" I got it. too little equity in it to make it worthwhile. Unfortunatley (SP) the sod is still breathing

Get a survey done, and get them to retrospectivley put a value on it at his time of leaving. If it is not totally extreme (the house) ie far more than you require you should be able to keep it (if your dependents are also his depandents)

He has a legal obligtion to ensure his kids have a roof over their heads.

BUT I got divorced in Scotalnd so the rules may be different,

My advice would be FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. You are in the right, you look after the kids. Also courts up here take into account the emotional stress that the kids would face if you moved.

If your ex is anything like mine it's all talk no action

Get your maintenance agreed by the court and mortgage lenders will then take that into account, also take WFTC into account (even the childcare aspect).

kalex · 12/07/2004 22:24

God that was rambly hope it makes sense

Original poster
essbee · 12/07/2004 22:26

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essbee · 12/07/2004 22:29

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kalex · 12/07/2004 22:31

How much euity is in the property - if you don't mind me asking - please don't answer if you don;t want, but if your mortgage is less than this, surely any reasonable judge would allow you to take over the mortgage. If not surley you would be allowed to stay in the house until the kids were at least 16, a kind of life rent thing

Original poster
essbee · 12/07/2004 22:34

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kalex · 12/07/2004 22:35

Posts crossed, could you arrange with him (obviously through medaition) to pay him a nominla amount every month, even deducted from your maintenance to allow you to get the house.

When I thought that I wouldn't get my house I discussed with EXH to pay a small amount into a kind of trust fund for the kids. He asn't getting the money but neither was I.

Also I think that the court should take into account what you would have to pay for a similar property in the area,

Kayleigh · 12/07/2004 22:37

essbee, had lunch today with janstar in city and i know she was going straight out this evening. Just wanted to let you know she isn't ignoring you
Sorry, I haven't got any advice for you but hope you can sort this out. x

kalex · 12/07/2004 22:38

If he is pushing 4 his name off the mortgage, you are in a position of power. I wouldn't pay him off- he has to provide a roof over the kids head. And not some bedsit. He has to allow the kids to have a reasonable standard of living conditions,

Get Legal aid - my Sols was fab - if a bit rushed off her feet, and take it down the legal road, he's not going to sensible, agreeable or ever put your kids best interests at heart.

kalex · 12/07/2004 22:42

Also Alliance & Leicester took into account my wages, my WFTC and his maintenance (which is infrequent and has to be fought for every month)

Have you made an appointment with your bank and discussed this. I took my mum, coz I thought she was going to have be a guarantor coz I earn so little, was pleasantly surprised to find that they actually took these things into account, although I had been paying the mortgage 4 2 years by myself.

Oh yeh also your child benefit

Original poster
essbee · 12/07/2004 22:43

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essbee · 12/07/2004 22:53

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kalex · 12/07/2004 23:14

Do you have a mortgage advice centre in your area/

Mine wwas fab advice was free, they make their oney off the lenders by referring business, they should (if they are any good) a list of lender that would take on your mortgage by youself

kalex · 12/07/2004 23:20

And no Esbee your share of the equity is not for you to pay rent with, you have children to bring up and you hav the responsilblty to get them through this horrendous situation, his responsibltilty is to make sure that they have a roof over their heads - and a bedsit IMO is not a roof, it's a circmstance that has to be dealt with.

I send you hugs (((()))) coz I was in your position 6 months ago and it Fucking sucks, sorry but are there any men out there who don't potray themsevle to be nice and then turn into toatal dicks.

Sorry have got really angry about this, what does he want you to do!!!!!!!!!!!! Life on the streets,

BUT on a positive note, it does get better, and my life now is so much better than before

MOT previewing coz I will just delete

Original poster
essbee · 12/07/2004 23:20

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essbee · 12/07/2004 23:23

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jmg1 · 12/07/2004 23:24

essbee, I really can't understand how your ex can be so mean and kalex sounds right, don't let your ex bully you, think of your kids wellbeing, f**k him.

kalex · 12/07/2004 23:38

Esbee. phone tommorrow, you could be losing money that is rightfully yours, also if you havewn't phone Council tax, you get a 25% rebate, if you haven't done this already phone up saying you haven't received a new book/ or you DD haven't changed and then when they say they haven't had any notification KICK UP THE HUGEST strop you can muster, DEMAND to speak to the supervisor, manager, anything, but then they should backdate.

Sorry I shouldn't be advertising ways to beat the system but as a single parent I know that every penny counts

Original poster
essbee · 12/07/2004 23:56

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kalex · 13/07/2004 00:10

Fill them out tommorow, thats good money. Are they datestamped coz they may backdate.

And I know they are horrible, but leave nothing out.

I am really lucky my mum works for DW&P and she told me everthing that I shoud do

Have just spoken to her and she says if you get your from in quick thay will back date to the beginning of April, current tax year.

also said if you want to speak to someone about your WFTC to give her a phone so contact me through other talker and I will give you her number if you want. Just to say she is so up on benifits and will really fght your corner.

Original poster
essbee · 13/07/2004 00:28

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kalex · 13/07/2004 00:39

Contact me and I will give you mums no.

Original poster
essbee · 13/07/2004 18:40

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Twinkie · 13/07/2004 18:53

Essbee - does he not realise that he is not fighting from the winning corner - you would probably get 70% of the equity if not get rights to stay in the house and have the mortgage paid (probably only the interest) by the social.

Do not agree to anything with him at mediation or outside mediation get the solicitor to fight as hard as possible for you and only agree when you are sure that you are satosfied - he is not going to win this one.

Post on Ondivorce.co.uk too you will get lots of answers from people who are going through or have ben through this kinda thing.

Good Luck and when are you coming to see me??