Topsy and Tim find out about MN

[Blandmum]

Topsy and Tim are very excited. Their Mummy and Daddy have bought a new computer. They have also installed Broadband.

Daddy wants to look up some Gynecology pictures but Mummy says no. Daddy decides to wait until Mummy is out shopping.

Mummy logs on and goes to a place called Mumsnet. Topsy and Tim start to fight! But mummy takes no notice of them she is.....

knackered, pissed on one glass of wine and finally "meeting" some like minded company.

Mummy laughs manically to herself and drinks more wine. Topsy and Tim...

KNOCK THE HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER

MUMMY SIGH'S, THINKING............

a)arguing over sausage rolls or not sausage rolls
b) bickering over definitions of baby led weaning
c) indulging in jolly virtual banter (my preferred option )

bugger, too slow, my post doesn't make sense now

i HATE HATE HATE t and t (see books you hate thread). this made me lol.
topsy and tim go on family picnic. mummy and daddy are too busy chatting to notice tim falling over cliff and topsy being savaged by dog. hurrah. the end.

mummy sighs thinking.....

breast or bottle?

Topsy pushes Tim's head down the back of the sofa....

...and mummy again thinks bottle, and reaches for it. Topsy meanwhile..

Tim looks over Mummy's shoulder.

"What does "n-or-k-s" spell, Mummy? That is a funny word, isn't it?" says Tim.

mummy looks at the sofa, worrying..........

when's the last time I hoovered under the cushions?

... where he finds a half empty bottle of fruit shoot...

Topsy and Tim: The Revenge.
Mummy is still too busy messaging other mums to notice Topsy and Tim have set up an account with Tesco.com to deliver Fruit Shoots, sauasage rolls and Chewits every hour.

bugger, too slow, does not make sense now...

has set fire to be brother and he runs round the room he sets off the fire alarm and the fire engine comes out.

'Not not fire engine, fire appliance, you learned that in an earlier book , you muppet' shouts topsy to her immolated brother

"shut your fanjo" screamed Tim as Mummy guiltily minimised teh screen

Poor mummy is so raddled she is having at least 3 internal conversations at once. Topsy and Tim are, however...

yes, the insistence on "fire appliance" wtf is that all about then??

'And what is a lady garden?' asks Topsy

"why is that lady worried about the size of her fanjo, mummy" asked topsy?

Mummy sobs. All the normal people have gone to watch Ugly Betty.

"How do you spell Cdo?" enquired Tim

Dno't hassle me nkwo, cnat yuo see I'm busy snaps Mummy. We want to play on Club Penguin wails Topsy. No, says Tim, I want to look at those pictures that Daddy showed me last night. Those ladies had a lot of milk in their boobies Mummy. Enough for triplets even.