Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Other subjects

Flip

Original poster

Cowbag SIL dilemma....

23 replies

Y0rkshirelass · 22/03/2007 16:10

SIL is currently visiting (not staying with us, thank heavens). She is usually abroad with her job in far away countries which suits DP & I as we have quite a strained relationship with her - at worst she is a selfish, opinionated, stubborn and rude cow but can be sweet as pie when she wants something - but I have always played the nicey nicey girlfriend to keep the peace as she is not here often.
She wants DP & me to join her & FIL for an early tea on Sunday at a very exclusive fish restaurant in town.
The main problem is I hate fish. The restaurant is very expensive and serves nothing else, not like the chain fish restaurants where they serve non-fish dishes, this is just fish, fish, and more fish (I have scoured the menu!). We would also have to find (and probably pay for) a sitter.
She is adamant she wants to go to this particular restaurant, which is fair enough on her part. Would I look a complete cow if I decline and just tell DP to go without me on the basis that I don't eat fish? I'm sure she will think I'm sulking about it but I don't mind DP going, I just don't see the point in me going.

OP posts:

Twiglett · 22/03/2007 16:14

is she adamant she wants to go there despite you having said already you don't eat fish?

I'd let DP go without you ..

NoNoNoBodyInTheTomb · 22/03/2007 16:14

I'm guessing that the main reason you're not going is cause you can't stand her, and that she'll know that. I suppose the question then is, do you care?

Is there really nothing non-fishy for you on the menu? Nothing vegetarian?

belgo · 22/03/2007 16:16

I also hate fish. I would refuse on that basis.

Original poster

Y0rkshirelass · 22/03/2007 16:22

If it wasn't a fish restaurant I would have gone.
My worry is that she'll do her whole eye-rolling routine, and because she is such a nice person she will change the restaurant just for me, the silly whiney girlfriend.
I don't see why any of them should miss out on going to this fab restaurant, but I don't want it to turn into a drama (as it usually does when she's around).
There really is nothing other than fish, but that's why fish fans go there.

OP posts:

mumto3girls · 22/03/2007 16:23

I would efuse and state categorically that you hate fish....if she knew you well she would know this and should at least have checked that you and DP wanted to go there!!

compo · 22/03/2007 16:26

i would feign a migraine at the last minute and get dp to go on his own.

happybiggirl · 22/03/2007 16:27

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Y0rkshirelass · 22/03/2007 16:33

It's a famous fish restaurant, they refuse to do anything but fish, I have checked. It's usually very hard to get a table without waiting a fortnight, but she has booked for 6pm on a Sunday evening.
I think I will just insist that they go without me and enjoy the fish

OP posts:

JaneAustenAllegro · 22/03/2007 16:33

I would explain nicely that you don't like fish, you have checked the menu, there is nothing you would like to eat, there's no point paying for a sitter while you go to an expensive restaurant and eat a side salad, so you will stay at home with the kids. Say that you hear that it is a great restaurant for fish-lovers and hope that they all have a lovely time.

I have had to do this a few times myself when friends and family have insisted on going to Indian restaurants. I'm sure my in-laws think I'm a boring spoilsport, with bland unsophisticated tastes, but I don't see the point in paying an expensive restaurant bill when I'll hardly eat a thing!

Califrau · 22/03/2007 16:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

happybiggirl · 22/03/2007 16:34

Message withdrawn

wanderingstar · 22/03/2007 16:36

Similar to Happybiggirl really; can you explain on the phone that their lovely exclusive venue is really important to your family, especially the visiting guest, but you're really sorry about your seafood allergy and could you have simple pasta instead. They surely serve side dishes with the fish; couldn't one of those be jazzed up easily into a main with a little advance notice ?

wanderingstar · 22/03/2007 16:39

Can't be that classy then if they refuse to be flexible with advance notice. Most serious kitchens would accommodate you.

Stirring now....if she's the cow you say she is, did she choose it with you in mind ?

happybiggirl · 22/03/2007 16:40

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Y0rkshirelass · 22/03/2007 16:44

She probably did wanderingstar!

OP posts:

NoNoNoBodyInTheTomb · 22/03/2007 16:51

yeah, stay home and mind the kiddies, and let your DP go on his own

tinkerbellhadpiles · 22/03/2007 16:57

Phone the restaurant and say you have an ALLERGY to fish and if they can't accomodate you (offer to take a ready meal they can heat up, that normally does the trick). If they don't budge make a big song and dance about how upset you are to SIL that you will have to sit there hungrily till she gets fed up and organises somewhere else.

2shoesonanegghunt · 22/03/2007 17:24

just say you can't get a sitter and let dp go on his own

rowan1971 · 22/03/2007 17:28

I think compo's idea is the best. That way, you can't be accused of creating a drama - you just have an unfortunate malady.

Saturn74 · 22/03/2007 17:28

If she knows you don't eat fish, and will not change the venue despite knowing this, then don't go.
It's rather spoilt of her to demand her choice despite it being completely unsuitable for all those who are invited.
I think my DH would be tempted not to go either, TBH!

Saturn74 · 22/03/2007 17:29

sorry, I meant for 'some' of those invited.

saintmaybe · 22/03/2007 17:34

How would your dp like to approach it? He's the one you care about, and it's kind of 'for' him as it's (presumably?) his sister; maybe just do what he's comfortable with?

WestCountryLass · 22/03/2007 20:48

Just don't turn up and get DH to let her know the babysitter didn't turn up on the day

Flip