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Please tell me what does the Social Services get involved for?

22 replies

BigCremeEggs · 22/03/2007 09:33

as my friend told a disturbing thing that had been happening about her 2 yrs old Newphew. Everytime his mum (she is 20) come round to ask my friend to babysit the nephew..my friend always say Yes without fail, as she seems to look after him alot sumtimes from Thurs - sun cos his mum is out but thats ok, but it is mum - she is in a terrible state as always guarantee a black eye, bruises all over her body....the update now is she got 3 missing teeth and a black eye....her Boyfriend of 2 years (it didnt work out with her and the boy's dad), everytime she comes home from work about 4am (she is a lapdancer/poledancer)..he lay into her and batter her in front of the little boy and the poor little boy is seeing everything so violence.

Once he lays into her, then later he got up to go to work @ 6.30am, he left the front door open and the mum went back to sleep, unknowing that her boy had gone out and was walking in the street at 8am...a neighbour picked him up and knocked on her door asking if he was her child!!!!! He could've of been kidnapped, ran over!! . My friend said Why dont u leave him, she seems to be covering it up for him saying "Oh he was off his head on coke"...but my friend takes it too and she told her that thats a lie as you can control yourself when youre on it as its not like your drunk as you can remember everthing. (i wouldnt know cos i dont take it).

He is about 2 and a half months younger than my dd..ive only met him once and he played lovely with my dd BUT he is very aggressive when he cant get do summat in his own way...and my friend said that the foul language comes out of his mouth is breakin her heart .

i said that the Social service will only get involves if the child is getting abuse.

AM I RIGHT????

OP posts:
Fossil · 22/03/2007 09:41

I think you should phone them and ask. And try the NSPCC as well.

BigCremeEggs · 22/03/2007 12:01

my friend knows that if she does reveal her name...she might never see her nephew again so she doesnt know what to do

OP posts:
DaffodilsforeasterFlower3554 · 22/03/2007 12:09

Better that she never see's him at all but he's safe, I would have thought.

EdieMcredie · 22/03/2007 13:13

No. Social services are there to support a whole family. They need to be telephoned, asap.

BigCremeEggs · 22/03/2007 16:49

well as she knows that she may never see her nephew again....she cant let it wait to hear it happen again. She is letting me know how it is getting on

she rang a year ago when her nephew caught scabies from sleeping in different beds all the time as her mum seems to be palming the poor kid off but they took no notice.

OP posts:
ska · 22/03/2007 16:54

the child is being abused. phone social services without delay. you can also try NSPCC. But don't worry about getting involved - we are all responsible for all children. Think how you'd feel if you didn't phone and then something really terrible happened. good luck

BigCremeEggs · 22/03/2007 19:01

thanks everyone......i will ring my friend now and give her the number of NSPCC. She already got the social services no as well.

its just knock me sick whats the poor boy is going thru

OP posts:
Kevlarhead · 22/03/2007 20:01

Research has shown that children who are exposed to domestic violence (DV) in their early years have a higher chancer of becoming abusers or abusees when they grow up.

When I worked for Northamptonshire SS the protocol (not sure if this is a national thing) was that SS would start taking a serious interest on the third occasion a DV call is made to the police.

The child is being abused; he's having it demonstrated that if you're big enough and loud you can knock ten shades of shit out of a woman and no-one will care. That's emotional abuse, and it also sets him up for repeating this behaviour in later life.

NSPCC are bloody useless; in my experience they'll sit down, write down all you say, then pass it over to your local SS. Cut out the middleman and call the children and families division of your local social services.

Calls can be made anonymously, and your name will not be recorded

PeachyClair · 22/03/2007 20:08

No you are very definitely wrong

SS get involved if the police are called to any house where there is a potential DV case, even if its just shouting going on.

Fisrt time (if just minor), gets a letter- otherwise you get a visit.

PeachyClair · 22/03/2007 20:09

Kevlarhead its 1st call here!

Mind you in Somerset I never knew of SS involvement at all (worked for homestart then) but most of our high-risk famillies were SS referrals so it was ahrd to pull the causes and the rest apart

BigCremeEggs · 22/03/2007 20:20

what wud happen? as the mum doesnt want to split up from her tosser boyfriend

OP posts:
Kevlarhead · 22/03/2007 20:24

I was made redundant from the council a year ago; that's my excuse for errors in remembering procedure...

BigCremeEggs · 22/03/2007 20:24

andi dont think the police are involved

OP posts:
Jennylee · 22/03/2007 20:50

well it would be better is the ss were involved it the mum split up with the man or they may nto approve

PeachyClair · 22/03/2007 21:14

Well we're in wales- I'm sure tyou're right, you know as well as I how much these things vary.

SS will be involved because of the risk of emotional harm to the children from witnessing atatacks, the fact that partners who abuse women (and men) are more likely to child abuse as well, and a whole host of other reasons that depend on the family situation- eg alcohol, depression, whatever.

If police aren't involved it all depends on smebody making contact with them. They will expect Mum to resolve the situation.

ash6605 · 23/03/2007 14:06

Haven't read all replies but i think the sheer fact that they are both coke heads should be enough for social services to get involved but sadly this is never the case.call me old fashioned but kids should NEVER be around parents on drugs.

to me if the child is this violent at 2 year old what will he be like at twelve? an asbo waiting to happen.poor kid.

ash6605 · 23/03/2007 14:09

and as for not wanting to split up with her boyfreind! that is appaling.she deserves the kid to be took off her if she continues to put her own selfish needs before her boyfs.

dmo · 23/03/2007 14:14

imo ssare crap
i am a childminder and phoned ss as 8 yr old i have is left alone all weekend when mum goes to see boyfriend who lives 5hrs drive away

i also told them that she is away in america for 2 weeks (she is back today)

ss not intrested as there are no rules of how old a child can be left alone in england

i phoned ncpcc and they said phone ss

cupcakesgalore · 23/03/2007 14:17

DMO, if she is being left alone at the age of 8 you could phone the police too. I was a social worker, albeit in mental health. Whenever we came accross cases of children being left alone - and it happens more than you'd think - it was always treated urgently and taken seriously.

dmo · 23/03/2007 14:20

they said that -phone police
also 8 yr old told me his mum gives him medcine to knock him out
ss said it could be calpol (could be wtf)

anyway head teacther is now involved after i told him and the 8yr old has told head the same as me

ska · 24/03/2007 18:23

dmo definitely phone the police. i's neglect which is criminal offence

zookeeper · 24/03/2007 18:31

Why are you waiting for this child to get beaten up too/run over/emotionally scarred? Phone ss NOW - you don't have to give your name

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