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Original poster

feeling really pleased with myself until a friend opened her mouth

30 replies

nulnulcat · 19/03/2007 20:29

im getting married next year and am having a fairly big wedding. Initially it was going to cost a fortune but i found out ways i could save money, i have done all the invitations myself, table plans place names etc best friend is making all the bridesmaid dresses im doing the cake myself and all the favours and table decorations. im a beautician so all of our hair and make up is taken care of and he is in the army so wearing uniform so no financial outlay there.

i was feeling proud of my money saving skills until i talked to a friend, originally she was getting married a year after us and now she has brought it forward to 4 months before our wedding, we were talking today and she was going on about her wedding then when i told her about mine she started going on about i ought to be careful doing so much myself as it could look cheap etc! im really annoyed we could afford to pay for all of the stuff if we wanted but its my wedding and i wanted to make it more personal now im worried people will think its tacky and cheap!

OP posts:
colditz · 19/03/2007 20:30

she is MEGA jealous! I bet her face was practically green, just because she has to pay someone to make her look pretty.

ImaWurzel · 19/03/2007 20:30

That's not nice of her to say.

fireflyfairy2 · 19/03/2007 20:31

She sounds jealous!

My sis made her own invitations & place settings, she even made her own service booklets [with my help] & they looked fantastic!!

Yours will too

mistressmiggins · 19/03/2007 20:31

ignore her

I made my own favours

if I had been into craft like I am now, I would definitely have made my own invitations etc

DONT WORRY - sounds very personal and great

p.s I make my childrens party invites & bday cards for close friends children - I dont see it as cheap - I see it as personal touch

DimpledThighs · 19/03/2007 20:33

made stuff is so much nicer anyway - a friend of mine is making most of her things - including friends doing sandwiches for the reception. It sounds wonderful - a real personal celebration of them. It will be fine - some people are competitive like that.

Aloha · 19/03/2007 20:33

The best things about my wedding were the personal things. A friend made my bouquet on the morning of my wedding (hated the florists one so she cut white hydrangea from the gardens of the house we were renting, my stepdaughter and I made bunches of lavender from my garden to give as favours, and crystalised pansies and rose petals from the garden to put on the chocolate cake which was made by my MIL. My mum hung garlands of ivy on the chairs and arranged delphiniums and roses on the room for the ceremony. My friends spent all morning putting sweet peas into jam jars and tying them with purple gingham ribbon for the tables, and another friend wrote our names and the date of our wedding on jam labels to put on each jar.
Another friend did my nails in the morning. Two talented friends took photographs and made them into albums.
Personal things done with love are so much better than things that are just commercial IMO. And everyone loved our wedding!

glassslipper · 19/03/2007 20:34

some friend! she's jealous. you will have loads of personal touches and everyone will remember them

littlelapin · 19/03/2007 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

princesscc · 19/03/2007 20:38

Look on the bright side of things, she'll be soooo skint paying for her wedding by the time you get married, she won't be able to afford to come! Rotten cow, I think your wedding plans sound fab and frankly you get a hell of a lot more pleasure out of doing it yourself.

bigknickersbigknockers · 19/03/2007 20:39

She sounds quite competitive, is this why she has brought forward her wedding to before yours do you think?

Boco · 19/03/2007 20:42

Nothing tacky about home made stuff - she sounds like a competitive friend whos trying to make herself feel better about not being as creative as you.

NoodleStroodle · 19/03/2007 20:45

nulnulcat - she is no friend of yours! I found some friends being quite weird around my wedding - jealousy etc. The best wedding we ever went to was in someones back garden, grooms mum's friends did the food and I ended up washing up with the brides father - who I probably wouldn't have spoken to had we been sat in neat tables of 10! Do it your way and it will be fab and you can use your money for other things. So many people plan The Wedding without having properly thought through The Marriage...Good Luck and have fun with your preparations!

exbury · 19/03/2007 20:45

All the bits that I remember from my wedding (12 years ago now) are the things I made myself or which friends helped me with. I also loved being involved in friends weddings by helping them make things. Take no notice - she is trying to justify her own decisions.

MascaraOHara · 19/03/2007 20:47

Agree with everyone else, she sounds jealous.. If I ever got married, I'd lvoe to do all that sort of stuff myself but I haven't got an artistic bone in my body.. I think yours sounds lovely and everybody will comment on how lovely it is

Surfermum · 19/03/2007 20:49

There is nothing tacky about doing things yourself. What is the day about? It's abot you and your dh getting married, and celebrating that, not about putting on a show for people. You do it the way you want to.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 19/03/2007 20:50

nulnul - dont worry - sounds lovely what you are doing, and people will notice too - but for all the right reasons.

It will be fab, I am sure.

snowleopard · 19/03/2007 20:50

It will be lovely! I've just been helping a friend design and make her wedding invites and I think it's great to do it yourself. It will not look cheap, it will be beautiful and you will look both beautiful and super-talented!

She's now getting married before you, hmmm? Sounds like she feels very threatened by your absolutely fabulous wedding! Laugh at her - she's the one forking out for notoriously rip-off wedding stuff at jacked-up prices.

Original poster
nulnulcat · 19/03/2007 20:51

thanks everyone i knew i was doing the right thing doing it all my way. its really difficult as she is one of my closest friends and our other friend think its definately a competitive thing. one minute they were just thinking about getting married in 2009 then once we got engaged and set date she started talking about wedding planners and what they were doing for there wedding and now the date has been brought forward

whenever the group of us get together it seems like the whole conversation revolves around her wedding! its driving me mad!! she told me she didnt want to be bridesmaid as she has been one loads of time before and doesnt want to jinx herself fair enough but our other friend is my maid of honour and when the 3 of us get together we cant even mention my wedding as she twists it all round to her day! then she gets pissed off that she is being left out if just me and other friend get together to try and sort stuff out!! i cant win!!

i can see why people get married abroad!!!!!

OP posts:
madrose · 19/03/2007 20:53

i made my bridemaids dresses (6 of them) and the favours - i still get a buzz out of that 8 years later - really proud of myself - you will be proud too when you look back.

Original poster
nulnulcat · 19/03/2007 20:53

sounds really awful but i wont tell her what my dress is like!

OP posts:
pansypants · 19/03/2007 20:53

i think it sound lovely, personlised and special,,, its your day have it how you want it, and ignore her,
aloha yuor day sound wonderful

Othersideofthechannel · 19/03/2007 20:56

Yes, people will really appreciate the personal touches that money can't buy.

madrose · 19/03/2007 20:58

throw her dummys about the dress - leave pictures around that look nothing like it. I did something similar - people thought it would be white or green etc and slim fitting and modern. It was gold and very traditional - shocked loads of people.

I'm sorry she's being like this as it does take the pleasure out of things, you should both be excited for each other - but she does sound jealous and competative.

Good luck and enjoy

Original poster
nulnulcat · 19/03/2007 20:58

she is very competitive, both our partners are in the forces mine has just gone to afganistan for 6 months and hers is in iraq for 4 months he isnt front line but of course what she is going through is worse!

OP posts:
WestCountryLass · 19/03/2007 21:09

No, no, nooooo, it will not look cheap, it will be personal and that is far nicer than contracting everything out if you have the talent and the time.