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Original poster

Dont want to start a smacking debate but.........

15 replies

Fio2 · 10/07/2004 13:49

we went out for sunday lunch yesterday and a family were sitting on the table behind us. The dad just kept smacking their son, who must have been about 2 ALL the time. He was really quiet but the Dad just kept smacking him over and over. The child wouldnt go in the highchair, so the dad took him off to the toilet. When he came back the mum said to him 'I suppose you have took him there to hit him' 'yes' said the dad. They then started having a bit of a row. It has really upset me. Why do people have to hit their kids like this

And I have smacked my children on occasion. Well not dd but ds a couple of times. Once when he ran into the road and wouldnt listen and I felt guilty the rest of the day for it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fio2 · 10/07/2004 13:50

and WE just SAT THERE. Why?

OP posts:
iota · 10/07/2004 13:52

That makes me feel sick - and I speak as one who has smacked her children, but not like that.

wobblyknicks · 10/07/2004 13:55

That is horrible - the poor kid. Its up to the parents whether to smack or not but you have to draw the line between smacking and abuse and that definitely crosses the line IMO.

Original poster
Fio2 · 10/07/2004 13:57

thats what I thought I feel bad now about not saying anything. Dh was fuming and was giving the daggers - not that that helps!!

OP posts:
wobblyknicks · 10/07/2004 13:59

fio - don't feel bad. If they're that mindless that they do that to their son, then they wouldn't have listened to you and would probably have just got angry, which could have been taken out on their son. Its probably better that they just get daggers wherever they go, it might one day embarrass them into stopping.

NomDePlume · 10/07/2004 14:10

I'm not anti-smaking if it is done in a suitably appropriate way but this sounds extreme, Fio . Poor little fella, and TWO years oild, he's still just a baby really

NomDePlume · 10/07/2004 14:11

@ my typos, sorry

wobblyknicks · 10/07/2004 14:13

At 2, what on earth is the point of smacking anyway - he won't understand what its supposed to mean. If you do it sparingly then he'd learn but doing it like that just makes it mindless punishment.

PotPourri · 10/07/2004 14:14

Fio. That sounds awful. I can see why you feel guilty, sa the first instinct after the event is - I should have done something to stop that. But I the others are right, as a stranger, you are likely not to have much impact on their points of view. The man obviously thinks he is handling this correctly, and the woman possibly not??? I think the only way to change their mind is if someone whose opinion they value tells them that they are out of order. And let's hope that will happen soon for the little boys sake.

Poor little tike.

Original poster
Fio2 · 10/07/2004 14:20

I dont think the mother did agree with it. She looked really angry and they did both start arguing over it. I think my husband wanted to hit the dad. maybe he should have took him into the toilets to do it. I just dont understand why they went out in the first place if their son wasnt allowed to enjoy himself. I am usually not this judgemental but I felt it was wrong

OP posts:
wobblyknicks · 10/07/2004 14:25

I know this sounds harsh but IMO if the mother didn't agree with it then she should have done more than argue with him - she should have belted him!!!

Chinchilla · 10/07/2004 22:38

In Tesco today, I passed a mother who a) promised to smack her son, 'in a minute' i.e., when she could be bothered to look at him, and b) said 'You're useless you are' at the top of her voice.

It broke my heart. He was being a bit boisterous, but even so...I then passed him a few minutes later, and she was still looking at the same potatoes, but her son was looking VERY downcast. Presumably she managed to tear herself away from the King Edwards to give him a good wallop as promised.

Chinchilla · 10/07/2004 22:40

And why tell a child that they are USELESS? I was so busy throwing evil thoughts in her direction that I nearly took a man with a beard out with my trolley. I said sorry, and he looked at me as if I was pond scum. I turned back and called out, 'I SAID sorry'. Not a good shopping experience all round! At least ds was an angel...as per.

dontknow · 17/07/2004 01:05

I remember seeing a mum out with her 2-3 year old to buy an Easter Egg. Kind of a nice fun thing to do yes? Well no, faced with a dazzling display of eggs the child was struggling to make a decision. Time for some fun, excited input from mum? no. "make yer bloody mind up or I'll belt yer"

ScummyMummy · 17/07/2004 01:08

How horrid, Fio and Chinchilla. Poor kids and poor you guys.

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