fed up

[motherinferior]

Not sure where to put this - Relationships or Parenting. And I thought about changing my name but it would be perfectly obvious who was posting, if only because my sheer inferiority would show through

Background - we're all tired, tired, tired. Haven't had a holiday in two years (off in two weeks) and my productivity is hitting an all-time low. Small children. Usual, familiar, tedious tale, really. And I'm fed up.

I'm fed up with the fact that at the moment DP appears to blame me - really quite ingeniously - for pretty well everything that goes wrong in the Inferiority Complex. It's my fault that he didn't fill in dd2's passport form (yes, I did bottle out and ask him to do it. Four months ago). It's my fault I've got to go to the passport office at sevenbloodyfortyfive tomorrow morning (yes, I did ask for the earliest appointment they'd got. I do have a working day, as it happens, to attempt to get through). It's my fault if I end up feeling quite scared about asking him, yet again, about some tedious computer question because he'll snap at me(apparently I choose to react in this way). It's getting me down, and I know I should be assertive twentyfirst century woman who Takes No Crap but I don't seem to manage it.

I'm fed up with mincing around dd1 waiting for the screams to go off as she throws a hissyfit about something. I'm even more fed up with trying to get water into her when I know she's thirsty, and provoking more screams. I know I should be a firm, boundary setting mother but I don't seem to manage it.

And I'm fed up with the baby going off like an alarm clock at some ghastly five am time. I know I should do controlled crying, or sensory deprivation, or something, but I don't seem to manage it.

Oh, and while I'm wallowing in self-pity and self-recrimination (insert hippopotamus icon here) I'm fed up with reading about the glamorous careers of my former university contemporaries (especially the ones with kids) and the stubborn refusal of several spare tyres to respond to half-hearted attempts to shift them.

That's me, then. Anyone else want to join me in the mudbath, or advise me on how to struggle out?

MI, so sorry - am at work so don't have your e-mail etc., will try tonight - in meantime might get-together (have to be with kids, realise that doesn't quite address root of things) this w/e help at all?

Ds and especially dd can be relied on to be lovely to your dd1, so giving you break in that dept.

MotherInferior, I'm in the mudbath with you I'm afraid. Me and dh were talking about this at the weekend (in between arguments) - it is just sooo tiring looking after young children. And repetitive, dull (sometimes), frustrating etc etc. We constantly have tasks that are forgotten or done at the last minute (I really hope that ds1 doesn't need a passport to go to Guernsey or I will also be at the passport office at some ungodly hour) - dh is incapable of doing anything other than going to work, so it is down to me, even if I remind him twenty times (sometimes I even write him a list of jobs - to no avail).

I live in hope that it will get easier once the kids are all at school!

Have a good holiday - I'm sure that will help, and if you find a way out of the mudbath can you let me know how??

Well, I'm glad I'm not alone.

DD had a temperature all night, so kept waking up and wouldn't settle down unless I was holding her. Mysteriously, the paracetamol which wasn't having an effect at 2am decided to completely cure her at 8am A BIT BLOODY LATE.

So I am very tired......so the kids lose their shoes/take 45mins to eat a bowl of cereal/DD poos as we try to leave the house/I can't find any shoes cos my usual ones are covered in dog poo (which I forgot about/I've a tickly throat which is triggering my asthma so I keep heaving/I'm having my first period since DD

and I'm now late to pick DS2 up from Nursery..

MI, big hugs to you, sympathy and a large brandy.

"Breastmilk is more important than changing the world." Discuss. At length. Marks will be deducted for milk stains on the paper.

"Breastmilk is more important than changing the world." Discuss. At length. Marks will be deducted for milk stains on the paper.

me too. Since going back to work I have the constant feelign that half my brain has walked out on me, dh and I keep winding each other up, we're both fed up with the sordid squalor we live in.....its just a bit relentless really. But I think it gets better (if it doesn't, please don't tell me!!)

So, MI, are you tackling the Balance of Power by buying new skirts? If so, congratulations, this is the most grown-up and adult way of dealing with any outbreaks of unreasonable behaviour from toddlers or their Dads.

And there was I, feeling inadequate and envious because while my career is stagnating in the mud, you are writing witty and challenging articles of sosial importance - AND have got your act tigether enough to order organic food to the door!

Down in Blu-house, we are mopping up after a weekend of DS having gastric flu - and DP feeling very chastened because when he took the initiative and phoned the out-of-hours doctor after DS had had a temperature, vomiting and diarrohea for 3 whole days and nights, it was him that got told off by the doctor for our lamentable child-care skills in giving him yogurt and NOT giving him regular nurofen/calpol, and basically said that after the first 24 hours, it had all been caused by us!
Does that make you feel any better?

And the upshot is that DS is now too weak to be with his carer and DP and i are having to put even more pressure on ourselves by sharing a day off....

See, you're not THAT Inferior!

Hugs.

LOL Frogs!

Oh Blu, rotten weekend. I'm so sorry.

Marina: LOL at your DS!

OK, as a major sacrifice that I'd only perform for you, I'm prepared to concede that you need Alan Rickman more than I do. HE wouldn't treat you like this, would he?
Off to find agent's details...

Just read this Mi, sorry you are fed up, did you or are you getting a break yet? Perhaps it would be quite therapuetic to literally wallow in mud i am hoping to do that this weekend. Could you run away for a few days, then you will over them all again for two minutes when you get home

I think we should instal a Virtual Mudbath.

Blu, how on earth is it your fault DS is ill?

Don't talk to me about men and forms...every year DH leaves his tax return to the last minute, and WE spend the last week of January doing it.

Sounds like you are all in need of a holiday - how old is DD2? I recall up to the age of 18mths constantly thinking divorce was imminent and how would I cope as a single mum, and it has got much better since then - and I only had the one (have buried head in sand about implications of having no. 2 so far).

Blu I think view on food during diarrhoea episodes has now changed, and whereas before they used to advise nil by mouth or as bland as possible, many doctors now tell you to eat whatever you feel like and hope it stays down/doesn't shoot through too quickly. So your doctor is being rather harsh and a bit old-fashioned.

Hugs to all hippos and remember the hippotamus song...

Wallow wallow
You hit the nail on the head MI, the sheer tedium of caring for small children and bieing tired all the time. But then if you cuss aobut the tedium you feel guilty about moaning about being fortunate enough to have these precious angels in your life at all.

I would like to take this opportunity to moan about having a vile head cold for 4 weeks and darling baby waking up with same cold 3 times a night and being thoroughly entrenched in the clingy stage, can't even blow my nose in peace.

Where are you going on you holidays?

WE florence? I get to do dh's tax return along with mine. Grrrrr

MI: the out of hours dr says that had we kept him on water/apple juice and NOT given him yogurt the day after he had been sick, his stomach would have settled down, and had we kept up the nurofen etc he would have felt better, and rallied round and eaten properly. As it was, we aggravated his stomach by letting him eat yogurt and drink milk, and caused his stomach etc to get inflamed, and left him suffering a temperature and too listless to eat dry bread.
I stopped giving him nurofen etc because the sorbitol always gives him a touch of diarrohea anyway.

Personally think the doctor may have been in a bit in need of a wallow in the mudbath herself!

Blu, you aren't sodding medically qualified, that's her job. Try Dialoryte if ever happens again?

Florence, I can recommend an excellent accountant for your dh.

Am going to Normandy. A very good place for anyone with the remotest tendency to broodiness, as soft cheese and hard alcohol abound.

MI - sorry to hear this. As you know, I don't have experience of this end of things yet, (although hey, step teenagers a speciality!) but I hope the holiday helps. God only knows you deserve it. Take care you xx

mmmm, can't you just smell that gorgeous melting cheese, and imagine the choices of wine you can sample your way through. You really deserve this hol and so does DP and the infantas - the red wine will weave it's own magic and dp will become a relaxed appreciative saint and the infantas will be angels on earth.

oooh, can I come too......

MI we went to Normandy about 6 weeks ago. It was fantastic. Make sure you go and visit a Calvados distillery (and do some tasting ). Hope you have a fab time.

mi this is discusting biy it will make you laugh,

i just went for a check up at the doctors after you no what and i was being examined down below and when he inserted the metal smear thing up me i sneezed and farted at the same time wich make dd pi** her self laughing and im never going back there again

Issy and Nik, Very Funny!!! (though I wonder should I be laughing, as it's other people's misfortunes?)

On guilty mummy thing, visited friends at w/e & ds & dd watched Harry Potter (the first one) for first time, was a bit concerned they'd be scared but all fine ... until near the end when ds (5) turned white face with horrified tear-welling eyes on me and said "but will he EVER find his mummy and daddy again?"

What do you do?