fed up

[motherinferior]

Not sure where to put this - Relationships or Parenting. And I thought about changing my name but it would be perfectly obvious who was posting, if only because my sheer inferiority would show through

Background - we're all tired, tired, tired. Haven't had a holiday in two years (off in two weeks) and my productivity is hitting an all-time low. Small children. Usual, familiar, tedious tale, really. And I'm fed up.

I'm fed up with the fact that at the moment DP appears to blame me - really quite ingeniously - for pretty well everything that goes wrong in the Inferiority Complex. It's my fault that he didn't fill in dd2's passport form (yes, I did bottle out and ask him to do it. Four months ago). It's my fault I've got to go to the passport office at sevenbloodyfortyfive tomorrow morning (yes, I did ask for the earliest appointment they'd got. I do have a working day, as it happens, to attempt to get through). It's my fault if I end up feeling quite scared about asking him, yet again, about some tedious computer question because he'll snap at me(apparently I choose to react in this way). It's getting me down, and I know I should be assertive twentyfirst century woman who Takes No Crap but I don't seem to manage it.

I'm fed up with mincing around dd1 waiting for the screams to go off as she throws a hissyfit about something. I'm even more fed up with trying to get water into her when I know she's thirsty, and provoking more screams. I know I should be a firm, boundary setting mother but I don't seem to manage it.

And I'm fed up with the baby going off like an alarm clock at some ghastly five am time. I know I should do controlled crying, or sensory deprivation, or something, but I don't seem to manage it.

Oh, and while I'm wallowing in self-pity and self-recrimination (insert hippopotamus icon here) I'm fed up with reading about the glamorous careers of my former university contemporaries (especially the ones with kids) and the stubborn refusal of several spare tyres to respond to half-hearted attempts to shift them.

That's me, then. Anyone else want to join me in the mudbath, or advise me on how to struggle out?

think I'll join you for a while,wallow on.......

poor you MI - hugs XXX

you really, really need a break, I think it's as simple as that!

anyone you can park kids with to give you a break for a couple of nights?

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i am at my lowest of low and have never felt as fed up as I am today.

I have been up for about...oohhhh.....7 hours now and I am completely knackered.

Had the weekend from hell with DH and then his mother turned up unannounced just to p*ss me off even more. AARGH

The kids are in a noisy mood and no matter how much I tell them to calm down, they don't.

DD is running round half naked, refusing to get dressed and shouting at me.

DS won't eat anything...teething I think, so he is really grotty.

I'm not even dressed yet and have no intention of doing the pile of ironing in the corner cos I just simply cannot be ar*ed basically...........

I would love a big bar of chocolate but I am on a sodding diet......

Oh and for some reason, my yahoo instant messenger isnt working so I can't even talk to my cousin......

been there done that- bought the wallowing t-shirt MI !
hit 40 and thought Sod this for a game of soldiers!!! Life has got to get better.
Suggest you go away (without kids if in anyway possible) really makes you feel like part of the "normal" world- and a real person.
Then you come back refreshed- and vow to get away more often!

I think there must be a big black cloud hanging over us mothers at the moment cos' I'm fed up too.
Posted on Saturday night saying how crappy I felt and my mood hasn't improved.
I think it is suddenly dawning on me how boring my life is. Every day is the same and at present there is nothing to look forward to, only the hope that DS might do a poo today!
I miss my old life, this time last year DH and I were enjoying a 5* holiday with not a care in the world, oh how things have changed!

MI I am afraid I laughed in sympathy at your post! What is wrong with men that they blame us for stuff all the time even to my going away when he left me on my own for the first four years of three kids under five suddenly me going away is not acceptable.

You are so right that we should be assertive I teach it to others ffs but .... in rl am only assertive when I have a) managed my diet b)got some sleep and c) bought something just for me! Which is when???

Oh well perhaps one day our shrek will come and our kids will learn to be lovely out at parties stop quarreling and generally become pleasant and well mannered(probably at about 25).

There you go have joined you in the mud bath guess its getting quite full now.

Oh poor you MI . Bloody men. Swore I'd never use that phrase again once I gave birth to a boy but impossible to resist, I find.
Amazing how they manage to blame us for everything they fail to do, isn't it? Like we are their mothers, as well as everyone else's.
Hope you have lovely break. And if all else fails, you could always sneak something very sharp into dh's hand luggage so he isn't allowed through security at airport... maybe on the way back though .

hi mi, that doesnt sound like your normal happy self, i only thouht you had 2 children do u have more???
just look forward to having time with your beautifull kids xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thank you everyone. I do only have two kids, Nikki - the baby is dd2. And I totally take the point that what I need is a break/sleep. Difficult to get away without them - we really don't have family to leave them with - but I could get away on my own or with a friend, I did that when I was pg.

And I'll get some flavoured water to tempt DD1 with.

Unicorn, I'm 41!

She has got another one, Nikcola - her dp.
MI, found this thread now. Agree with the others that

1. men are rubbish
2. you are incredibly tired and that is understandable and not your fault
3. even adorable, charming offspring are revolting sometimes (ds took a picture of my arse on Saturday with his birthday present camera and then announced I was "way too wide", so guess who enrolled in WW this very morning )

As well as the usual tips of getting away on your own, leaving Mr Invincible in charge, I would strongly recommend not reading alumni websites and magazines. Oxbridge do a particularly insidious line in them IMO. DowCam goes STRAIGHT in the rubbish bin in our house, what a pile of boastful tossers. You know it's all lies.

Hugs and virtual chocolate winging your way, I really hope your holiday (with alternate lie-ins/early duty for Miss Wideawake, I hope) works its magic.

MI am here as instructed to wallow with you.

Must admit to feeling a bit like you at the mo. Only really cos dd is a bit ill (cold and teething) and life is suddenly a mare.

Re the not-so-d-h crap, mine had the nerve to have a go at me for being tired and falling asleep yesterday, said I should have gone to bed earlier - at 2.30am on friday night/sat morning he was whinging at me for being such a lightweight and going to bed instead of staying up drinking more. I had to get up at 7am and he slept until 11am. Then Sunday morning he got up for her at 7.15 am (having gone to bed at 12) and had the f**cking nerve to come in at 8.45 and get me up because he was exhausted and had to go back to bed for 2.5 hours.

AND I GET A HARD TIME FOR FALLING ASLEEP DURING MEN'S FINAL GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

(to cap it all moan was because he then had to pay some attention to dd instead of slumping glazed and zombie like in front of tv watching tennis while I did it all)

MI - is your DH and mine actually the same person???? How you feel now is how i felt last weekend. This Weekend my mum had my two DS's for the night and DH and i were transformed! We didnt argue, we were relaxed we had a laugh just doing the weekly shop then we went home and got drunk and stuffed our faces. It did our marriage the world of good - this morning i am fed up with my weight which seems to be spiraling out of control - but as i am in a positive frame of mind about other things today i am going to start tackling my weight. * Positive vibes coming your way

I think we should have a co-ordinated wildcat strike

My dh does the coming back to bed after my laughably named 'lie-in' on a Saturday (usually ends with a cup of tea being banged down on the bedside table at about 8.30) too and it drives me nuts. I don't even get time to have a shower etc before he's snoring, ds is never dressed and the kitchen is usually a bombsite (from toast ffs!) And he gets really shirty if I dare to wake him before 9 on a weekday (works from home, also driving me nuts).

CD, did anyone mention Lysistrata? I think we should just say to all these bounders, NO SEX until you get your acts together.
Just had a rueful and appalled chuckle at your hideously stressful weekend. MIL's house is very similar from the sound of things, minus the friendly reception.

MI if I had a pound for every time I felt like this in the last year then I would be rich by now! I will join you in the mudbath and await further instruction on how to get out I think .

Marina am off to the Acropolis as I type

Agree with Marina about alumni magazines, but my contemporaries are all so amazingly successful I have to keep reading about them in the bloody newspapers. I knew I should have avoided that Guardian article about up and coming people most likely to change the world.

Serves you all right for going to good schools!!! The people who I used to go to school with are now single mums (including me ), working in McDonalds or whiling the day away in the dole queue!!!

Frogs, snap. Also former bosses. The most galling occasion was reading about TWO former bosses and their likelihood to become Even More Incredibly Important, while I myself was expressing milk from my right breast.