Scared of being a SAHM!!

[Twinkie]

Been trying not ot think about this for the last 4 months but as time is getting on I am getting more and more anxious about what I am going to do and how I am going to cope.

I have 2 good friends, both of whom live in a different county and one of which is moving even further away at the beginning of next year!!

I have one friend who I met through DD being friends with her daughter at school but as her daughter and my daughter are going to different schools in January I am worried that we won;t see each other anymore.

I have joined NCT but have not been told when classes are and am too shy to go to the events tat they have alone when I don't know anyone there at all.

What do I do - I know I'll be busy with DD and DS but I think I will go bonkers just being so cut off from life in general and I am looking forward to it and not struggling into work and getting DD up early and trying to keep on top of everything but I don't want to be lonely like I was when I first had DD!!

Where are you Twinkie?

I said this on another similar thread, Twinkie - join a gym with a creche and leave the children there a couple/few times a week. Really makes a difference to my week and stops me feeling too lonely.

Where do you live? In a city or the country?

Are there any other mums you could meet up with from your dd's school? I'm not really qualified to give advice in this area, with a nickname like mine, but I did find when my kids went to school, I had contact with more people. I find I can't translate that into a friendship, but maybe you are better at that than I am.

Lonelymum, I agree it can be so hard to find friends when a SAHM (sorry, Twinkie). I'm watching this thread with interest (although I work pt now and plan to go back ft after second baby). I'd love to meet a really good friend through my children - no sign of that happening yet! Don't know if it does to many people though...

Ive been a SAHM since dd was born, which was 18 months ago and I hadnt even got onto maternity leave yet. I dont have many friends. I take dd to tumble tots, but dont really talk to the other mums there (but Ive only been twice so far and tomorrows the last one of the term). I may start a conversation with one of them whilst our kids are playing which can help break the ice. "How old is your daughter?" "Oh she's 18 months, yours?" "18 months too" etc etc

I am shy but have been to two mumsnet meetups which were fun. How old are your kids? I find going out can help, even if its just up the street and being able to see that there are other life forms on the planet except for mumsnetters

We moved house when dd was 18 months to an area where I knew no-one, not a soul other than dh and dd. Neither my family nor dhs were local to the area, mine were 5 hours drive away, dhs 6 hours drive.

You just have to be prepared to jump in with both feet and make contacts wherever you can.

I'm not a naturaly outgoing person, but desparation makes you do things

And I'd say that joining a gym is a first rate idea.

Hi Ive just moved to a new country and was feling very much like Billy no mates. I have been here six months and have made a few friends and 1 really good friend. I felt a bit desperate at first as I was a stay at home mum in uk and had a great circle of friends. But I found a very good friend by chatting to her in the park and then meeting up again in Macdonalds, this happened on a day when I was feeling particularly lonely. I think I was a little bit more pushy (thats not really the word I want) than usual. But it paid off as she introduced me to some of her friends etc. I know its daunting but all it takes is hello. Best of luck!

when i first became a sahm i freaked out a bit because i lost all my friends and felt realy cut of from the world and even though i havent made any new friends yet i found mumsnett a great life line for talking to other adult i dont know about you but i find it very hard to make friends and those who have trid to make freinds with me just want to tak about clubbing and makeup and stuff which realy aint my scene and there are no other sahm in my area which can make me feel isolated but if there are other sahm mums in your area try and start up convos with them and let things take there own corse
right now i sound like a sad c** which im not realy

I've met several really good friends since becoming a SAHM. Agree that you sometimes have to make the first move and speak to a total stranger but IME it has paid off more often than not. TO me, finding these friends made all the difference to my sanity and how much I enjoyed being a SAHM.

Oooohhh sorry I did not have access over the last day and come back to all you lovely peope trying to reassure me.
I will join a gym if I can afford it although I much prefer running in the street!! and I suppose I will meet women with kids of the same age at NCT and of course lovely mumsnetters at meet ups - ooohhhh I shouldn;t worry should I I just don;t want to find myself inthe position that I did with DD when I had days that I literally spoke to bno one from when x2b left to when he came home!!