Enforced giving to charity in schools - what do you think?

[anorak]

Let me be clear I certainly do not begrudge giving £1 to Comic Relief to allow my son to dress up for school.

But our school has some kind of event like this every couple of weeks - sometimes it's £1 for school equipment, sometimes it's for an African school they have twinned with, sometimes it's an external event like comic relief. £1 isn't much to ask and I don't really mind the amount. But I find it irritating that no one has a choice. The only alternative to paying up is to allow your child to be left out of the fun.

Am I alone in finding this annoying and controlling?

One might argue that as long as the money reaches the charity the end justifies the means, but it might not work. I was at my cousin's house last night and as we watched Comic Relief on TV she remarked that she had done her bit by paying her pounds for her sons at school. I admit I did nothing additional either. I feel both of us might have done something a bit more substantial if we'd been left feeling we hadn't contributed yet. Instead we were lazy.

I'm interested in this as a wide debate topic - what do you think?

Your child wouldn't be left out of the fun if they didn't contribute, we never exclude children if they havne' t brought in a donation for whatever the cause may be.

And as far as giving to charity - we have some that we support and others that I wouldn't touch - I am happy to give a pound here and there for school, but don't do that instead of my 'own' charities.

I mean that I still give to chairites , the few pounds here and there for school events I don't really don't include with this

I do usually as well hana. But the frequency of these school events leave me feeling manipulated.

I don't mind giving occasionally. But when you have 3 children at school, then the £1 each here and there begin to mount up.

The children won't be left out, but they do notice if they are the only ones, or one of the only ones, not paying over their money.

I think that it is a good thing that children are continually challenged to think of those less fortunate than themselves. We support certain charities, and the dcs are familiar with some of them, but I probably don't make a big thing about them with them all the time - a lot of our giving is standing order, so it is fairly invisible to them.

And comic relief has been going for quite a while - what did you do before your children were at school? Personally I would find it odd that you would view that the school contribution was "doing your bit" if this was a cause that you would usually support. Perhaps the reinforcement at school will help the children to keep going with some charitable involvement once thy leave, even if it is only buying a red nose or a cookbook or whatever.

I thought our school had phrased it nicely this year. They had a big newsletter about what the kids would be doing for Comic Relief (dressing up, games and activities) then at the bottom, almost as an afterthought, it said that there'd be a collection box in the classroom for those who would like to contribute.

I did like that phrasing, and because it wasn't right at the door as they went in (unlike previous non-uniform days) no-one noticed if someone had decided not to contribute.

That's a good alternative Rubberduck.
And I've only got one in school at the moment, so don't really notice it too much. All to come I'm sure!

I did once send a long letter to the boys' school when they'd come out one day with a sponsor form for a charity totally unrelated to the school. They were really gung-ho about getting sponsors, etc., and I felt under a lot of emotional pressure to do it. However, it wasn't a charity I normally support (and I do support a number of charities) and indeed it might have been a charity which I have taken a specific decision not to support.

I felt the school were wrong to accommodate this charity trying to reach a specific audience as this was putting undue pressure on parents to support a charity that they haven't taken an informed decision to support, IYSWIM. Of course all the children wanted to do it, because every child who raised money was promised a certificate and other goodies. I felt these were underhand tactics.

Bearing in mind the number of times the boys come home with various sponsor forms (usually to raise funds for the school), there is a limit how many times you can ask friends and family to sign up, so it usually ends up with the parents paying. So a charity which I haven't specifically chosen to support has been able to reach my child (through the good offices of the school) and "bribe" them into raising money with the promise of goodies if they do. Emotional blackmail on the parents.

School is still sending out the sponsor forms every year.

Yes Freckle, that kind of thing I do find very manipulative.

Rubberduck, the way your school presented it sounds very responsible. Do you happen to know if they collected a comparable amount of money to the usual method?

anorak: I'm not sure - will ask though on Monday for you, if you like?