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Original poster

Question about the in-laws

17 replies

tammybear · 06/07/2004 16:12

Over the weekend I had problems with exp and his parents. All three of them come to see dd every 3 weekends, but now things have become more awkward and complicated. If say exp wanted to stop seeing dd altogether, do his parents have a right to still carry on seeing dd or is that up to me?

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gothicmama · 06/07/2004 16:13

not sure I think there is a campaign for granparents rights- if he did not see your dd would you like them to see her or to see her with supervision

Original poster
tammybear · 06/07/2004 16:16

i heard about that campaign, i just wasnt sure if it was up and running yet. but i would want dd to still have some contact with her dad's side of the family, even though they really drive me up the wall. when they do come, they just sit and watch her or the tv, and dont really play with her or anything. really bugs me. and thats including exp

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gothicmama · 06/07/2004 16:18

sounds my FIL and SMIL they never play with dd and even get her name wrong!!!

Original poster
tammybear · 06/07/2004 16:18

annoying isnt it

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gothicmama · 06/07/2004 16:19

I am glad you still want them to have apart in your dd's life it shows what alovely person you are good luck

oliveoil · 06/07/2004 16:19

I think that grandparents do have a right by law to see their grandchildren, not sure how much time etc.

Quite right too though I think, god forbid I split up with dh but if I did, my inlaws would be devastated if I took dd away from them.

Even if they bug you, I think it would be worth putting up with them once a month for their and your dd's sake.

gothicmama · 06/07/2004 16:20

post crossed yes it is annoying I have not thought of a way to get them involved in a game yet

Original poster
tammybear · 06/07/2004 16:21

i tend to try and leave them on their own with dd whilst im in the kitchen or somewhere else in the half so they dont annoy me. i think we all just grin and bear it for dd, as im sure they dont want to see me after splitting up with their ds.

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Original poster
tammybear · 06/07/2004 16:22

half??? lol i meant house. god knows what i was thinking when i was typing that!!

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gothicmama · 06/07/2004 16:23

yes think that is all you can do dd probably will appreciate that you kept in contact for her sake

jampot · 06/07/2004 16:23

don't know if they have rights or not. My inlaws wouldn't be bothered if dh and I split up (they're not bothered now). They came back from Spain 3 weeks ago and we've seen them twice - haven't seen them since fathers day and they haven't called either for me for dh

gothicmama · 06/07/2004 16:23

I understand what you meant scary

Freckle · 06/07/2004 16:23

Grandparents at the moment do not have automatic rights to contact with grandchildren. They can, however, apply to the court for permission to apply for a contact order.

So what that means is that whether the gps see your daughter is entirely up to you until such time as they apply to the court for an order and the court grants such an order. I suspect what would happen though is that, as soon as they applied to the court, you would probably agree to some form of contact, unless you felt DD would be in any danger seeing them.

lonelymumof3 · 06/07/2004 16:33

if you were married then they do have rights to see the children. if you weren't then no...they have to take you to court for access. my sister went through the same about a year ago and that's what the solicitor told her. hth

Original poster
tammybear · 06/07/2004 16:35

well they were all down at the weekend, but just before they left exp blew his top as i told him about my dp. after talking with his parents, he apologised for swearing and getting angry which me and mum both agreed that it was his parents who made him do it so the weekend wasnt left awkward for them for the next time. mum has a feeling that exp will eventually stop contact with dd as he is a complete wreck. he cant even look after himself. but were sure his parents will want to carry on seeing dd

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Momof2 · 06/07/2004 16:54

Tammy - could you drop your DD to them (Grandparents)for an hour every 3 weeks - then you wouldn't have to endure them in your house and could go for a walk for an hour and then collect her (sorry don't know if this is appropriate but just a thought) or arrange to meet them in a local park where they could play with her for an hour?
My DD loves seeing xh's M, although I rather loathe her, if anything haapened then I would still let DD see her - which would involve me driving 100 odd miles to drop her off, but she really is DD's favorite grandma (sigh!)

Original poster
tammybear · 06/07/2004 16:58

i cant do that as they live 3 hours drive up the M1 you see so thats why they can only see her every 3 weekends when exp's parents are off work to be able to drive here

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