Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Other subjects

Flip

Original poster

If you had the choice, what age would you send kids to nursery???

25 replies

Angeliz · 03/07/2004 21:18

Hi all

DD is starting in September (pre-school) aged 3. I'm o.k with this as i'm sending her cause i think she's ready.
She wants to socialise all the time and i can do a million and one things to entertain her but i'm sure they'll be more enjoyable at times with another 3 year old!

I KNOW people don't always have the choice with work commitments,(hence the title), so for everyone, if it were a choice, at what age would you send your little angels???

I'm interested as there was an article in the Times on Sunday and this mother was saying that her boys aren't going till they're 5 and they'll be better off at home.

Exert from article
"I don't see why my children should be enslaved in a stressful environment when they are 3,4 or even5. They should be rushing to the swings, to their toys, their books. If you put them into pre-school, they'll have emotional shutdown"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Considering that i'm doing it for her, i found this a bit full-on.
What do you think?

OP posts:

coppertop · 03/07/2004 21:27

Ds1 started at pre-school at 2.5yrs, which for us was the ideal age. He loves every minute of it and certainly doesn't find it stressful (and believe me when I say that we would KNOW if he was stressed! ). They spend most of their time playing anyway. Even the more traditionally educational stuff is treated as a game which they are free to ignore if they want to.

Each to their own of course but 2.5yrs-3yrs would be about right for us.

posyhairdresser · 03/07/2004 21:49

Preschool is generally short - ours is 2 1/2 hours. If it is a good one it will not be stressful for most kids as they will have quite a lot of freedom to float between activities for most of the session.

IMO age 3 is about right, maybe just twice a week, but really depending on the child!

If the child wants to go each day that is a sure sign that its not stressful IMO

LIZS · 03/07/2004 21:52

I agree with ct. around 2.5 - 3. I think any good nursery, pre school or whatever would offer such things. That mother is being naive if she thinks otherwise but each to their own and if she has a couple of kids close in age perhaps it is not as difficult to keep them stimulated. Each child is different though.

ds went one morning to a creche from 2 which he enjoyed and started nursery at 2 3/4 (2 mornings )which actually felt a little late. At 3.5 he was doing 5 mornings at an International preschool (no alternative timing) and was full time a year later which felt too much too soon.

dd has been at playgroup since just over 2 despite having a serious separation anxiety. She started on one morning and filling in for absences, but since March (at 2.5) has been 3 mornings regularly which seems fine. She loves the structure, her small group of friends and is thriving. My only concern is that she will be expected to go from this to full time school in Autumn 2005 and it may be a leap.

pollyanna · 03/07/2004 21:55

I think about 3 is the right age give or take a few months. I saw Penelope Leach give a talk once and she said that she thought the best place for a child was at home/in a home environment (childminder/nanny etc) until the age of 3, but then it was best to send a child to nursery so that it was prepared for full time school. I thought she was very sensible.

marialuisa · 03/07/2004 22:04

DD moved from day nursery to a formal school based nursery at 2.5y and was more than ready for it. She initially did school hours (9-3) only but now goes to pre-school and after-care. Even if I'd been a SAHM I would have started her at this age.

Every child is different and although the childminder she goes to in the hols is lovely DD prefers to go to school (she's not impressed by the idea of the long hols). I know it goes against the grain but there are kids who thrive in a (relatively) formal nursery environment.

twiglett · 03/07/2004 22:05

message withdrawn

maisystar · 03/07/2004 22:06

i tried sending ds to playgroup whenhe was just 2 yrs. however he didn't settle at all and i took him sraight back out. he went again at about 2yrs 4 mnths and settled really well. hw went 3 mornings a week and loved it.

we moved house last summer and he started at pre school in the sept and worked his way up to 3 full days ( 9.15-3.15). this has proved to be too much for both of us, more the length of the day than the amount of time at pre school iyswim.

this sept he will be going 1 full day and 3 mornings. he loves his pre school . they play and have story time painting etc. they do lots of role play type things. at the moment they have a holiday theme so have a travel agents, suitcases to pack with holiday clothes. do quite alot of show and tell which i think is good for his confidence.

i think his pre school is probably more educational than a lot, much more so than the playgroup he used to go to but i am happy with that.

i think it must be a hell of a shock for kids who have never been to preschool/nursery/playgroup etc to suddenly go to 'big'school 5 full days a week.

imo the ideal age to start would be between 2 and 3yrs for kids ( and mummys )

Hulababy · 04/07/2004 13:21

Having seen how well DD has thrived and enjoyed her day nursery I am actually glad she started there very young - 21 weeks. Given the chance I wish it could have been a bit later - say 6-8 months but that couldn't happen because of work. In saying that as she started so young we have never had to deal with any problems with her crying when left, etc.

DD goes 2 days a week and gets so much out of it and always has. She is a very sociable little girl and she adores playing witht he other children. And she gets to do way more there than I could do with her at home She is now 2y 2m and still loving it all.

Fio2 · 04/07/2004 13:22

I wuld send mine at birth and be a lady of leisure

littlemissbossy · 04/07/2004 13:23

from birth to 18

bundle · 04/07/2004 13:26

article sounds ridiculous, i won't read it cost it'll make me cross.

both my (happy, independent, not maladjusted) girls went at 7 months to nursery, 3 days a week.

motherinferior · 04/07/2004 13:26

My three year old dd1 adores pre-school, lots of play and activities and company. What does this writer think - that they're sitting in rows doing arithmetic, FFS? They're learning, in the most joyful and energetic way. It's done her loads of good.

Galaxy · 04/07/2004 13:58

message withdrawn

suedonim · 04/07/2004 20:18

For mine, I think between three and four was the right age, though ime it's horses for courses, there isn't a blanket rule that suits all. Ds1 had very little chance to go to playgroup (no state nurseries back then) because we moved several times, yet he settled into school with no problems at all.

Dd1 never liked playgroup/nursery or school for ages. If we'd had the internet then, I think I'd have home-educated her until she was 7 or 8 yo. With dd2, nursery couldn't come fast enough!

As a child I went to nursery school, which was very unusual back in the 50's but I loathed it and 'real' school. I can remember to this day clinging onto the railings and my mum peeling my fingers off one by one, every morning for months.

smellymelly · 04/07/2004 20:32

I had a choice and sent Ds to nursery at 19mths, very part time to start, just 2 pm's, now he goes 2 whole days, and 1 am of pre-school. He is now 4.5 and starting school in Sept.

DD started nursey at 15mths when she could walk. Now goes 1.5 days per week, will be 2 days soon.

Both have absolutely loved it, how can kids not enjoy playing with different toys, making friends, painting, cooking, singing, stories, playing in the gardens etc? It has done my kids no end of good, and gives me just a little of 'me time'.

SoupDragon · 04/07/2004 20:40

I had a choice and both DSs went for 2 full days from when they were 2. They both loved it, DS2's language came on in leaps and bounds and DS1 had no problems whatsoever settling at school (wanted to do full days immediately).

However, every child is different and every nursery is diddfernet. I managed to find one that clearly suits my DSs personalities. Their nursery environment is far from stressful and they do rush to toys, books and play equipment!

lucysmum · 04/07/2004 20:52

My Dd1 started nursery when she was just 3 (August birtday) and will start school full time at 4 and a bit this September. She was ready for it physically and emotionally and has really progressed this year and does loads of things we wouldn't do at home. Much more socialable as well - I work 4 days a week and don't have many friends wiht kids so I think it is great she now has a group of friends. she loves it and asks to go during holidays and at weekends. I saw that article too - these type of articles always take an extreme view. Will probably be an article taking the other view next weekend !

ChicPea · 04/07/2004 21:02

I haven't even read last Sunday's paper (!) but haven't thrown it out yet so will read article with interest. I am considering sending my DD who will be 2 in september to nursery 2-3 mornings a week. Haven't rung around yet to see if I can get a place but my reasoning behind this is that the nursery is all set up for painting, playing and appropriate activities, etc which if my DD is ready will be stimulating, fun and social. I would prefer a 9-12 slot if possible so that I can do the lunch. I have friends who have sent their children to nursery quite early on due to work commitments and their children thoroughly enjoy their nurseries which is very encouraging.

oxocube · 04/07/2004 21:35

Our littlest went at 2.4 and he will be 3 in October. He sometimes likes it and sometimes cries. If he is too tired, I keep him at home and he goes 2 mornings per week for 2 1/2 hrs.I think it perhaps a little soon for him but the reason he is there is because we live in Holland but speak only English at home and he needs to learn Dutch. I think he would be 'ready' in an English speaking nursery but is still trying to find his feet in a non-English speaking one. Sometimes I feel very guilty for putting him through this

ChicPea · 04/07/2004 21:45

Oooh-er. If I do organise this and DD hates it, I won't force it. I want her to enjoy it - she is a very confident and social child. I would then give it another go in January.

oneofeach · 04/07/2004 22:50

Angeliz, Hi, sorry I haven't read all the messages so sorry if I'm repeating. I read that article with great interest as my DS started nursery school 3 weeks ago. For me the main thing that the article didn't really mention is that for the majority of children, nursery will be only 2.5 hours out of their day. It's not like they are spending all day chained to desks!

Having said all that, although my DS was so excited about going and goes with great enthusiasm every day, I have noticed that his behaviour at home has deteriorated and that he has lots of 'accidents' (weeing himself) at home (both the subjects of other threads!). I do wonder whether he is too young etc. But I think that at whatever age, there will always be some adjustments for them to make, they will be tired, grouchy or completely wild when they come home. It's all just a matter of getting used to it. I don't think that would be any better if he was 6 years old.

The bottom line is that he's enjoying himself. The environment is fun, the children have loads of different things to do and he can rush to the swings, go swimming or just lie around and look at books if he wants when he gets home.

poppyseed · 04/07/2004 22:57

Sent DD when she was 3 and she loved every minute of it. Gradually increased the number of sessions she went to until at 4+ she went 5 mornings a week. I think that it was a good preparation for school in terms of social interactions - especially as it was a local playschool she was mixing with some of the children she now goes to school with. I disagree with the article - if you prepare your child and they are ready to go then this is the natural next step for them to take and makes their transition to school a lot easier imo.

FairyMum · 04/07/2004 23:15

I do think it depends on the child, but for us 6 months have been the perfect age. Both mine have settled easily (DD started at 3 months, but I think this is early) and loved nursery. I read the article and I don't think she knows much about nurseries/pre-school. I found it funny how they pick these rather ignorant people with extreme opinions and interview them.

Piffleoffagus · 04/07/2004 23:21

my son went at 3.5 it was perfect for him...

handlemecarefully · 04/07/2004 23:37

My dd started Day Nursery 3 days a week at 6 months - this was due to resuming work. However if I wasn't resuming work I think I would still send a baby at 6 months (when they can sit...I don't know why that's important to me, but it is) for perhaps two 5 hour sessions per week to buy me some personal 'me' time - which I don't think is a cardinal sin.

My dd is a warm affectionate child, and she is extremely confident and quite 'hardy' (not as wussy as some of her little friends who seen to cry at the slightest thing)...so it sure as hell hasn't done her any harm.

Flip