Snobby about dummies - were you?

[mears]

I have seen this expression in a few threads so thought it warranted one of it's own.

My first ds was never going to get a 'dummy' and I sat for hours at a time with my pinkie in his mouth thinking that was superior, then he got his thumb.

My second ds was a thumbsucker but contracted meningitis at 6 months and couldn't suck his thumb because he was so ill. He was in pain though and his mouth was getting dry sucking my pinkie so I sent dh to buy him a couple of dummies - a yellow one and a green one. He looked really cute and more importantly got comfort from sucking.

My third ds was premature and I had bought dummies because I knew he would be in special care in an incubator. He didn't need them because he was on a ventilator for a week! When he did start feeding he was settled in between initially but when we got home I used it if I was too busy to breastfeed straight away. I stopped him at 8 months by not replacing it when it burst. He never did find his thumb.

My last baby dd also got a dummy because she was stuck in an incubator under phototherapy needing exchange blood transfusions due to incompatable blood groups. She stoppd about 9 weeks when she got her thumb.

Contraversially I much preferred the thumb sucking because they could find it themselves during the night. None of them have buck teeth by the way.

The point to this ramble is that some babies definately are comforted by sucking. As long as they are not restricted at the breast within the first few weeks and are fixing properly, there is no reason why they can't have a 'comforter' which is a much better term.

Yes - I was really 'snobby' about never allowing my baby to have a dummy, (and never being allowed to watch TV, go out in an uncoorinated outfit or with a snotty nose!!) - how we change !! At 3 weeks we were all exhausted, he hardly ever slept in the day - what bliss when I gave him a dummy!! He didn't need it very often but it allowed us a much needed break and as he needed major surgery at 6 months it was obviously a comfort to him in hospital. We took it away at about 7 months & he never seemed to miss it at all!

All I can say is thank you GOD for dummies.

Another thing I am definately 'snobby' about, is seeing babies of more than a year with a bottle - our DS went on to a cup at 8 months, I just can't stand the sight of 'older' babies with bottles, now I know this is a really snobby thing to say.

Sorry I couldn't spell 'un co-ordinated' in previous message

We were snobby about not giving ds a dummy. However, when he had regained his birth weight at 6 days, MW told me I was over feeding him!! Of course, I believed her, it being my first and all - despite now knowing that you can't overfeed a breast fed baby.

So, off went dh to Tesco, and dummies were given, to stop him crying, which he did a fair bit (long story about bad birth and sore head!)

He didn't take to them that much though until 20 weeks, when he got his first teeth. Since then, it has almost become a permanent fixture. Yes, I hate seeing it, but it gives me a bit of peace. I know that he won't have it much longer, as I can't stand seeing walking children with dummies. I also hate seeing children talking with a dummy in.

So, although I feel a bit bad when people see him and he's sucking away, I weigh it up with the fact that he is happy. I really get mad when people from my mum and dad's generation say to him 'you don't want that old thing do you?', as I feel that I am being judged.

Anyway, to cut a long story short - hooray for dummies

I didnt realise i was 'snobby' about dummies until after dd was born. I bought a couple before hand but when we tried them in desperation at 2months needless to say she wouldnt take it just made her gag and throw up (all though that in itself was a diversion from the constant crying) Now 4.5 months and a dedicated thumb sucker. So it seems its either one or the other. I now one girl whos mum had to give her her dummy as soon as she came out of school and i dont like seeing children trying to talk with them. Oh and i've noticed some children who have about 5 all linked together - dont really understand that. IMO although you cant take a thumb away they cant suck it and do something with there hands at the same time (no doubt dd will prove me wrong on this!) Have to agree with lindy about the bottles thing - hate seeing toddlers running round with baby bottles full of pop.

I have been guilty of dummy snobbery but also agree about the bottles for toddlers. Also a bit smug about DS not thumb-sucking. But he has finally taken me down a peg or two because I have realised that he is using his Avent cup as a comforter. And I have been guilty of sticking it in his mouth to shut him up (eg when fallen and crying from hurt pride or anger).

I went and had a look at a child care centre last week, which has a really good reputation in the area. On my way out I picked up an information sheet on toddlers. I was really surprised to see that on the sheet it said something like "Remember that young children still need their comforters (such as dummies, etc) to give them a sense of security when they need it. A lot of children will need them until they are about 3 or 4 years old". My son is 22 months and I have been agonising over the fact that he still has his dummy for naptime - I thought he should be 'over it' by now. I've heard quite a few times that a baby should give up its dummy before they turn one, so it was encouraging to read this other information - don't know if everyone agrees with this though.

Well, I better come out of the closet. My sons never had dummies. Both relatively easy newborns they never wanted them, so I didn't face the dummy decision.

However, my youngest at over 2.5 years still loves drinking milk or sometimes juice from a baby bottle at home. He can and will happily drink from any sort of cup, however he retains a certain affection for a bottle and teat especially when tired. He customises them himself, biting the rubber hole till it is big enough for the milk to flow freely.

I know he is well able to drink from other recepticles, and likes doing so when out and about, so I have no problem with the bottle. Most importantly, it comforts him, especially when he is tired or upset. I intend to let him continue until he wants to give it up.

I am a big believer in dummies....I just wish my son was. Day one my husband went out and bought him one (newborn size)...it was promptly rejected. We then compared it to my nipples (very large) and realized that we had bought the wrong size. My husband then went out and got the 2 year old size and it was accepted (hooray). I then, being a good jewish, catholic mother, started worrying about how I was going to wean him off it when he was 2 (seemed to be a reasonable age to me at the time), but at 3 months my son flung his away and would never have it again (I think he just prefered my nipples).
I think that dummy snobbery is cultural to a great degree. It is certainly more accepted in the usa (where they are called pacifiers or comforters) than here, and in italy it is not considered at all unusual for a child of 4 or 5 to have a dummy.

My name is Jasper and I am a dummy snob.
Or at least I was.
You see,, before I had kids I thought dummies were dirty things three year olds sucked in shopping centres in undesireable parts of Glasgow.I led a sheltered life .
Then I had a baby and realised they might have their use as a volume control device . Sadly none of my babies understood this.
With each baby I offered a dummy at some point in the early weeks as a shutting up device and did not know whether to be disappointed or relieved when they spat it out...

I fully expect parental amnesia to set in if and when my own kids give their kids dummies. I can say "I NEVER resorted to a dummy with any of you "and go back to being a dummy snob...and the circle will be complete..

I tried dummies but my daughter wouldn't take one. I tried dangling them in her mouth, letting her play with them but , no.

I nearly killed us by boiling one to sterilise it, and letting the pan boil dry and the dummy completely melt into the pan. The smell of the acrid smoke filled the house for days.

I gave up!

However, like tigermoth, or rather tigermoth's son, my daughter had a bottle well past babyhood, (until she was 3 years of age) in the evening, for comfort.

Message withdrawn

Lol jasper, love it - D.A.: Dummies Anonymous.

I confess - I am a dummy snob and a bottle snob. Neither dd or ds had either. I did buy a couple of dummies but by then dd had found her thumb and didn't want to know. She still sucks at bedtime (she is 5.5yrs) - she's finally given it up during the day. Ds didn't like dummies at all, but didn't resort to the thumb either. Both refused bottles as they preferred to use my boobs as a dummy (2 birds with one stone and all that!) I was lucky in never needing to use bottles, for which I am grateful, and to this day don't like them, but I understand that is just my little opinion.

I don't think dummies look cute at all (they may serve a purpose but I don't look upon them as a fashion accessory!) nor does having a thumb stuffed in the mouth, and as for a toddler trying to talk with a dummy in - yeach.

I do really hate seeing newborns (I'm talking from day 1) with a dummy, as much as it makes me crazy seeing an older toddler with one thru the day. I know this makes me a complete hypocrite since dd sucked her thumb in the daytime well beyond the "socially acceptable age", but bear in mind her thumbsucking in public made me crazy too! Still a dummy can be disposed of, or hidden or whatever, but short of tying dd's hand behind her back there was little to be done!

But having said all that, I have to agree that sucking is the preferred form of comfort for most babies/children, and if it keeps them happy and keeps mum sane then it's a good thing as long as they don't get "obsessed" with it - despite what anyone tries to tell you!

My dd wouldn't take a dummy for the first 3 months and I was quietly relieved although now she has one and I am really pleased she does. She uses it for sleeping only, she also uses her thumb now although her thumbs have quite bad eczema so I am trying to stop that.

I don't particularly like the way they look and didn't want dd to have on in the beginning. I even now don't like to see kids walking round supermarkets with dummies in their mouths but that's just a personal dislike of mine. I am very pleased dd has her dummy now because she was teething from 8 weeks so has definitely needed comfort and now at 9 months she has her molars coming through !!! Is it possible ??!!

I'm a dummy & bottle snob.

I didn't think I'd give ds a dummy, but after 3 weeks (if it was even that long) I staggered to Lilliputs, war weary and desperate and bought a couple. Ds had them until we 'lost' them during his nap at 15 months. (He never complained, much to our surprise).

Ds 2 never wanted a dummy, and chose his thumb.

I HATE seeing older kids with dummies. I was in town and saw a boy - 5 or 6? - with a dummy permanently in his gob. He was talking to his dad through the dummy, and every thing he said, his dad said "what, pardon, sorry etc". Not 'take that *** dummy out of your mouth when you're talking'. I just can't bear it.

Bottles of water don't bother me so much, but bottles full of chocolate milk etc fill me with horror.

But I am a totally judgmental snob in loads of ways, so I'm trying to train myself to mind my own business

I think I must be a "dummy snob" too - as DS has one to help him get off to sleep at night, but I won't let him be seen in public with it. Hopefully we'll be able to drop it completely soon (he's 9 months) as he doesn't always need it now.

Oh, I think dummies are brilliant! Ds had one til he was 3 (but by then only at night) and loved it. So did I. He had ones that looked like a frog, an elephant, a hippo, all sorts of dummies. They were a definite comfort for him.

No, you shouldn't use them to shut a child up if they're trying to learn to talk but ds is as loquacious as they come so it definitely didn't do him any harm. And when the last one fell apart and I told him I wasn't buying any more he gave it up easily.

There are quite enough things we're all made to feel gulity about as parents without adding dummies!! Should have slapped the HV for "telling me off" when he had one at under a year old but that's for the other thread maybe

Eek Monkey, my toddler will give you nightmares! His absolute favoute comfort drink is a nice big bottle full of Milo chocolate milk!

He likes to spoon the milo granuals into the bottle of milk, then he stirs it. OK it does seem wierd to think of one's 'baby' mixing his own milk drink - he'd mix up his formula milk too, it we still had it. Still, I cannot see any huge harm in it, as long as he cleans his teeth afterwards.

in our house dummies are for bedtime (now dd's mantra!) but she didn't take one till she was 9 mths and my mum was looking after her. apparently I wouldn't have one but my sister had hers till she was 3 (when me & mum put them in the bin & told her the man in the moon had taken them - how mean is that???

So pleased to see this thread. Like most people I used to not understand the point of dummies and was a bit snotty. Now it drives me mad when people are all snobby and self-congratulatory about their kids not having dummies - and then go on to complain about how much they cry/can't go off to sleep/whinge a lot. GET A DUMMY! Babies' drive to suck is so strong and the sucking is so deeply comforting (produces massive doses of endorphins) it seems cruel to me to deprive a 'sucky' baby of a dummy. They've been around in various forms since ancient times. & it's so unfair to take away something harmless that a baby loves just because you don't like the look of it. Of course, if a baby won't have a dummy or is fine without one, that's good too. However, I am a bit of a hypocrite because I nearly always take his dummy away before he has his picture taken. So I must be a bit of a dummy snob too (or am I just trying to make sure his lovely face is unobscured?). Anyway, one more thing, I read some recent research that said that children who use/are allowed to use a comfort object are actually more confident in adult life that those who don't because they know they can soothe themselves in times of stress.

Also had to admit that my mum got my ds his first dummy because he cried so much and fed non-stop. I was a bit dubious at first but v soon converted. And he's still b/fed at nearly 9months.

Must admit i to was a dummy snob, my first ds never had one and i wouldnt allow him one, my 2nd dd was prem and i was advised by a nicu doctor that it is a very good idea to give prem babys a dummy if they are tube fed, this is because prem babys do not have the ability to suck swallow and breath all at the same time this comes with matureity (excuse the spelling), allowing a prem baby to suck a dummy whilst being fed teaches them that sucking means getting a full tummy, it also helps them to learn to suck and breath at the same time.Although she soon discovered her thumb and has sucked it ever since ,she is now 4 and i am trying my hardest to get her to stop. The advantage of a thumb to a dummy is they wont ever lose it while your out shopping , they can find it themselves during the night and you dont have to keep it sterilised.

You know, reading all these pro dummy messages, I'm wondering if giving my toddler a dummy when he goes to bed with help him to drop off. He finds it hard to settle at night but has never had a dummy in his life. Has anyone ever introduced a dummy later on?

and the advantage of a dummy to a thumb is you can take it away