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Original poster

If a neighbour comes and tell you a university student is *courting* your 11 yrs old daughter, how would you react?

14 replies

Chandra · 27/06/2004 21:12

Yesterday I was having dinner with some friends who live in university accomodation for families, My friend told me that thre's a 10 years old girl who is constantly playing out by herself but what worries her the most is that she has seen an undergraduate student "courting" her, she has even aproach them once as she found he had taken her for a chat to a back alley, but he just ignored her; in other occasion she saw him calling the girl to come to his window (he lives in a groundfloor flat).

I have told her that it would be good to inform the girl's mother about it but she is worried that the mother would get angry with her (my friend) and end up having a problem for something she has just been nosey about.

I insisted she must tell the mother and it didn't matter how bad she would take it as any reaction was far less important than the girl's security, but she is not sure and may be even thinking I am overreacting. If somebody came to you with this information, how would you take it?

PS Please note that this girl, and her family, come from a country where children are still very much safe playing outside so she may not understand how different things could be here.

OP posts:
lou33 · 27/06/2004 21:15

I would want to know definitely. I would also want the student to explain to me why he is so interested in child, and not someone his own age

sanssouci · 27/06/2004 21:18

I'd be grateful, and that's an understatement!

twiglett · 27/06/2004 21:27

message withdrawn

Lisa78 · 27/06/2004 21:35

I would be very grateful also - if its nothing to be concerned about, no harm done

I would think the local police child protection unit would have a quiet look into it, if it was raised with them

gettingthere · 27/06/2004 21:38

I agree - I would be grateful too. It might be important to stress that the girl has not behaved inappropriately at all, but that your neighbour felt they ought to know. Is there any reason to think the neighbour might react badly?

coppertop · 27/06/2004 21:53

I would be grateful if someone told me that this was happening. It reminds me too much of a case a few years ago. An 11 year-old boy who lived on my street was killed by an 18yr-old student who lived just around the corner. It turned out that the student had a history of sex offences dating back to his early teens.

marialuisa · 27/06/2004 22:03

Tell the parents and if that backfires a quiet word in the ear of the Hall Warden?

WideWebWitch · 27/06/2004 23:02

Agree with everyone, tell the mother.

beetroot · 27/06/2004 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Chandra · 28/06/2004 00:52

Thanks for your replies, I will forward this thread to my friend. Coppertop, your post it's convincing me that even if my friend doesn't want to do something about it I might do. I will have a word with her tomorrow and if she doesn't want to do anything straight away... what do you suggest me to do? (I'm not a witness so I don't know if I would be credible if I report this, but I agree with you, something has to be done immediatly).

OP posts:
ggglimpopo · 28/06/2004 06:43

Message withdrawn

tigermoth · 28/06/2004 07:54

This might be naive of me, but the two things you describe - chatting to the girl in a side street and calling to her from a ground floor window - could have other meanings IMO besides courting.

If this girl is constantly playing out alone, as you say, it ups the chances of strangers talking to her anyway - she is around so much. Perhaps the undergraduate feels a bit sorry for her, or a bit concerned, and that's all. Perhaps the girl was friendly to him first, and he now chats to her sometimes.

As this is taking place in closed university accommodation, perhaps the normal boundaries between strangers are forgotten - people are less stand offish as they all have the university connection.

Of course, there may be other factors to this that you haven't mentioned. I'd still tell the parents however, and also as others have said, tell the staff. Could your friend also get talking to the male student, just to suss him out a bit more?

coppertop · 28/06/2004 08:20

Would you be able to speak directly to someone at the university directly? If the area is closed off they may have some kind of warden.

It's possible that this is all innocent of course. It seems odd though that this student just ignored your friend when she tried to talk to him in the alley. The case I mentioned took place when I was living in Newcastle so maybe the Newcastle MN'ers will remember it. I didn't have any children at the time but it was still so shocking.

Fio2 · 28/06/2004 08:22

tell the parents definatly. i would also question the students intensions aswell, like lou says

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