Civil Ceremonies

[newmummy01]

My cousin has been in touch to say that her and her partner are having a civil ceremony next year. Now excuse my ignorance but does this mean that they're engaged and warrant the usual engagement card/pressie? She didn't say engaged so I'm confused!

No idea
is she gay?

Yes, sorry should have said that.

If she's gay, then she's having a civil partnership ceremony.

I would probaby send a congrats card.
it's tricky isn't it? I have several friends who have had civil ceremonies with cake and cars and suits and cravats &c but are they weddings? sometimes, maybe....

Meant civil partnership - not doing very well here am I? Must be lack of sleep! Good idea about the congrats card maybe a better option than the engagement card.

I think you can send a general 'congrats' card, but don't know if you would need to send an engagement pressie as such.

Wait 'til next year, you'll also be suprised at how many really great cards there are on the market, celebrating civil ceremonies.

Oh do send a congrats card. They must be really looking forward to it.
What would you normally send for an engagement pressie? Here in Grumpyville we're not acquainted with that notion. Tell me more.

Well, they're not technically weddings, but they're the closest we're going to get for now. So treat it as you would a straight couple in the same situation. Honestly, they'll just be touched if they weren't expecting it, and I can't tell you how hurtful it is when family/friends treat gay partnerships as if they're not quite the 'real thing'.

PS. Do people actually send engagement presents? I had no idea. Have I been committing social gaffes all these years?

Mmmm depends. If they have a party (which are kinda going out of fashion or certainly not as common as they were or maybe I don't get the invites!) then it would probably be a mini weddingy type gift - towels anyone??? If not then I'd probably send flowers.

I would never buy an engagement present for a straight or gay couple, I don't know anyone who'd expect one TBH. I think it's a hangover from the bad old days, a kind of dowry/trousseau thingy so not really appropriate for a modern couple who probably live together anyway, esp a gay one.

a civil partnership ceremony should be treated EXACTLY the same as a wedding, soif you would send a card and or gift to a straight couple who are engaged,you should do the same for your cousin. it is no less a celebration and a commitment than a church wedding.

Send a pressie I reckon. Champagne always goes down well for engagements. We had lots of engagement presents, don't see why it should be any different for a gay couple

See, in my mind, this is the same as any marriage or engagement.

I'd say bottle of bubbly and engagement/congratulation card now - why not make one?

Wedding present next year.

sk, some gay couples don't want to see it as a marriage/wedding though. it is maybe a bit "mainstream" for them...

Well, true, but if that were the case with these two, would the cousin have made the effort to get in touch to tell her they were having the ceremony next year, seeing as it's about 10 months away at least?

I found a lovely website recently called everlasting wishes - they are sort of like interflora but do all sorts of personalised gifts instead and they are much cheaper than flowers. You could give them a try if you haven't sent something already.