Living with a bad decision - should I do something?(long!)

[islandgirl]

although the decision is made and can't be changed, the more I think about it the more upset I get. We chose godparents for ds2, and he has one godmother and one godfather who are both very special people to dh and me. I also wanted my other best friend to be a godmother, but dh was not so keen; reasons being;

1. it would hurt godmother already asked
2. a child only needs one of each (and ds1 only has one of each)
3. wasn't sure of her commitment as a godparent, although he didn't question her love for him. My dilemma is that I feel I should have fought harder, because I think I will always regret not asking her, and I am worried that I have also hurt her. Should I broach the subject with her, or leave it. Sorry this is so long, but I have been pondering it alone for weeks, and I just need some feedback from all you clever clogs.

Are you not planning on having more children? If you are, then save her for the next one. I don't see why you should be limited in numbers re godparents. Each of mine have 2 godfathers and 1 godmother, but you can have as many as you want and in any combination.

If it upsets you to leave her out, then don't. I don't see why dh would object to an extra one.

we are not having anymore, and if I asked her now she would know it was an 'afterthought'.

Message withdrawn

point is that dh only wants one godmother and one godfather. Now to cap it all, bf is away the day of the christening!!
I sense that I should talk to her about it at some stage, but not at the moment.
Or maybe take a leaf out of yorkiegirl's book, and make her an honorary one.

um I would be tempted to tell your DH to take a hike if it's bothering you this much! Our lovely RC priest told us that our first priority when choosing godparents should be how much we feel they will care for DD and love her, not how committed they are to the faith. He said being a godparent can sometimes bring people "back" to God IYSWIM. if the other godparents are of deep faith then i think your bf's faith is even less of an isue.Your friend could still be a godparent and someone could stand in for her "by proxy".

Alternatively you could say to bf "I want you to know that we think of you as DD's godparent, we just didn't feel comfortable inflicting the religious side on you".

dh will not be moved on this particular issue - not so much because of the religious input of godparents, but because he feels that they will just have a bigger input into his life. my bf is really very close and special to me, but not so much to dh which is half the problem I think.
I suppose if I talk to her about it though, she may be pleased not to have the 'pressure' of another official godchild, but still know how important she is to him.
I do feel a bit pathetic going on when there are other threads which are clearly less trivial, but to me this matters so thanks for your inputs!

My ds has 2 of each - you can have as many as you want! I would think that you could talk to your bf about this, and she may be a bit hurt, but would be more hurt if she just isn't a godmother, and you don't mention it.