Partner vs. Your child

[Skylark89]

I have a massive dilemma, my partner of nearly 1 year (known him for 8 yrs) is not getting on with my toddler. At the beginning everything was fine and they bonded very quickly and my son loves him. My son is just coming out of his terrible twos which was trying for all of us, but any tantrums or bad tempers my partner seemed to take very personally and has held a grudge against my son. What doesn't help is that my partner has an illness which sometimes affects his thinking and judgement, he was also in a relationship for a few years and had a bad relationship with the child his ex had. It seems that my partner is using that as a template for us and feels history is repeating itself, we aren't being given a fair chance, if ever I mention this I am quickly shot down and any arguments we have my partner blames it on my son. I love my partner so much but at the same time I don't want my son resenting me or withdrawing. I really don't know what to do, as the decision I feel I need to make is the one I do not want to make.
Sorry for ranting but I just need some advice

You need to protect your little child from the horrible influence of someone who dislikes and resents him.
No matter how much you love your partner, he comes second.

You know what to do. You don't need to ask.

Your child comes first, end of.

How can a man "not get on with a toddler" and how can he blame your son for tantrums. This doesn't sound right, he also seems to hold a grudge against his ex's child. He sounds like someone I would not want around my child (doesn't seem to like kids in general) . Partner Vs your child is your heading!! That shouldn't even be a predicament, child every time.

Your child will be picking up on the fact that your dp doesnt like him. That's shit for a kid. Put your child first and tell your dp to grow up or rethink your relationship altogether

Also, its not much of a fucking dilemma really. Why doesnt your child automatically come first?

How on earth can you love someone who bears a grudge against your two year old child?

You even think there is a valid "choice" here ?

Shame on you. Partner "not getting on with" a toddler=fuck him off.

You know what you have to do. Your son comes first. There's no grey area.

How can you like someone who dislikes your child.

Any man who holds a grudge against a two year old is an asshole. A man who has fond the same with two children is telling you exactly who he is. .And it is not a good partner or potential step-father. Your son deserves better than being forced to spend time with a man who resents him.

I can't believe you are even asking this question. Your poor child.

He is not the bloke for you.

He is blaming his feelings on a 2 yo. Really

"my partner has an illness which sometimes affects his thinking and judgement"

What's the illness?

Illness or not, there is no excuse for his attitude and behaviour towards your child.

Let the outcome of his previous relationship be a warning to you.

And above all, PROTECT YOUR CHILD. It's a no brainer and tbh it's worrying that you're even asking the question.

It sounds like this man shouldn't be dating women with kids. Bearing a grudge is just bizarre.

Sort out your priorities and ditch the loser.

No dilemma at all.
Bin him.
Your child should automatically come before your boyfriend.

Also, the fact that your very young child isn't the first that he's 'had a bad relationship with' is a massive red flag, quite frankly.

How is this even a choice? Urgh.

There's never 'partner'/boyfriend vs child. It's child and boyfriend dumped. This man shouldn't be near kids. You need to get rid of him.

Fuck off is this real, who even has to ask themselves this?!

If on the off chance you are being serious, grow the fuck up and be a parent, put your child first.