I have lost the sexual me

[Mud]

was going to namecahnge then thought why bother i have 3 children, youngest under 3 i can't remember the last time i wanted to have sex i feel it is too much effort and it has been uncormforatble and paiunful on a few occasions

today i have shaved in the shower for the first time on ages. i would like to regarin a sex life but im not sure i can be bothered with it. dh certianly finds me attractive and wants sex, i do love him but cant find the desire and im not the type to do it just to do it he works very hard and doesnt move very quickly so if we tyr to have an early night by the time hes in bed any flickering deseri has gone out the window - might be as short as inoly 5 minutes

i dont feel attractive nor sexy, my phyusicality is used up in my children - we had a fphase of regaining our adult lkife when we invested in some porn but it ended up feelkign dirty in a bad way after the bigninng diryt in a good way

how do i feind the sexual being agan?

You are definitely not alone Mud!
I don't know the answer to your question, when you find out bottle it and make a fortune. I don't go with all that 'how to get in the mood' stuff, I've tried it and it's failed to turn my head around. I personally believe that for a lot a women it's a hormonal thing but that side of things never seems to be addressed in this country. Interesting that mens needs are catered for (Viagra) but women are just left to muddle along.

i know how u feel i have 4 children under 8 and all i wanna do is sleep when i get to bed.iv been with df for 10 years and it started to fizzle out . then i came accros picture massaging .id send him a few ( adult ) pictures out of the blue while he was at work .by the time he got home we was both gaggin for it .lol. try it

The pharmaceutical companies are working flat out to try to make a viagra equivalent for women - goodness knows there's a lot of money in it.

You are indeed perfectly normal. There was a recent thread where someone was talking about her lost mojo, that got into a lot of the reasons why this happens. It is very normal.

First of all, if sex is uncomfortable and painful, you are stopping it right away, right? Don't make things worse for yourself!

Secondly, do you get time off?

Thirdly, what can you do to make yourself feel more attractive? Do you exercise? Or primp? Or wear clothes you like? Whatever works for you? If porn works, sorta, maybe softer porn might be arousing without feeling 'dirty' for you? There are lots of nice porny books out there, e.g. Black Lace.

i tried a viagra once for a laugh it made me sick

i can relate, mud. to the lack of mojo as well as the uncomfortable and painful bit.
have been to many doctors and there's nothing they can do about htat.
have you tried just having a sexual relationship without having sex?

Have anyone you been watching the sex inspectors this week on tv?

Mud - I can relate to this too. I'm 38, DP is 41 we have DD who has just turned one. I work full-time which makes me exhausted and just feel no desire at all to have sex with him although I love him dearly. He is very highly sexed and pesters me all the time... just want ME back and nothing seems to be happening.