having to lock myself in the house!

[fedupofher]

my neighbour is drving me insane. she just will not leave me alone. when i first met her i thought it might be nice to have a friend in the street and someone for my little boy to play with (her ds is around same age) oh god how wrong was i? she comes round my house at least 5 times a day. usually its to "borrow" something (and not give back) or she will just walk into my house and start chatting to me...her kid will just run in my house aswell. if im out mowing the front lawn she comes and sits on my path watching me until i feel like an ignorant cow and stop to talk to her...if im doing the back lawn she comes round with cans and does the same. if im busy in the house she will come to ask for something and then i cant get her out. her child comes running in here when my ds isnt here and starts playing with all his toys, throwing them around and making a mess. tonight she has stood in my kitchen and watched me make dinner when i just wanted her to p**s off. i feel emotionally drained by her. she talks rubbish, tells lies and contradicts herself all the time. shes so over the top friendly yet slags off everyone in the street (ive no doubt she does it to me aswell) and she keeps commenting on how nice my house is and all the things ive got, and how she doesnt have anything like that. well tough. ive worked for it. i smoke but i go outside to do it and if she sees me there shes straight over asking for cigarettes. how can i say no i havent got any when thats what im out there for?! she wants to go out with me and i dont want to...shes drunk a lot of the time and gets violent starting fights and such like. its got to the point now that if the door knocks i jump a mile because my nerves are frazzled and ive taken to spending all day with all the curtains drawn and the windows shut because its the only way i can get some peace. shes exactly the kind of person who gives single mothers a bad name and i dont want to be associated with her. im a single mum too but i dont behave like she does. i just cant stand it. feel like im cracking up

Cripes - can you move???

You poor thing. If you are in a council or housing association house, can you not put in for an exchange away from her? I would just tell her straight that you need your space. It sounds like she would do it to you if needs be. Alternatively, why don't you just say 'can you ring me before you come round next time please?' thats what i have done in the past with people I don't really want to see. Then if I'm not up to it then when they ring I just say...'oh, no, I'm sorry but I'm run off my feet at the moment....can we make it another time?'

We have a oldish well meaning but similar neighbour. She lurks behind her door, listening for us to come home. If she doesn't catch us, thre's always a note through the door "can you call on me, no rush". Or she says she's got a parcel for us, so I go round thinking she means post, when its actually some thing foody, that she says she bought accidentally/was given/cant eat. Once she's got you round there, or on the doorstep, its usually a good 45 mins of listening to her talking about nothing, or doing little jobs for her.Dont get me wrong, she's not horrendous, but we have little enough time as a family as it is, without her every night.And she saves up DIY jobs for us for the weekend. Now we have a CCTV camera linked to the telly, and dont answer if its her at the door. Or, when one of us goes round, the other comes after a while to say tea's ready/pnone call/baby needs something. If I'm on my own, I either stand at the door and say I cant leave the baby playing alone. Or if I go in her place, I take him, and use the nappy/food excuse to try and get out. The only thing is, we used to leave our front door open to let some air circulate. But she cottoned on to that, and now we can't, as it means we cant cross our hall without being seen! If we ignore her, we just say the baby was feeding/asleep, so it doesn't hurt her feelings.

These people are probably lonely.

If you don't want someone around at a particular time then a simple "I'm rather busy at the moment, how about you pop round for coffee tomorrow instead?" usually works. If you always simply let them in or always talk to them then they have no reason to suspect you are not happy with the situation. Start setting boundaries!

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