Need to be professionally distant - how?

[Blackduck]

Briefly I went for a promotion I didn't get, the guy who got the job was promoted over me and in my opinion is arrogant and patronising (I have had problems with him before). I have just had a meeting with him and another boss (another guy I don't have much time for either) and I know I am coming across as difficult and petulent. How can I stop this? Need to develop some distance and be professional - anyone got any tips...please.

Oh heck, BD, I can imagine this is difficult. I think you have just got to take a deep breath, think carefully before you speak, and try to imagine your new boss as someone else, as if he'd been brought in from outside.

Analyse how you feel. Can you get over this, is it time for you to move on? putting aside your previous problems with the new promotee, can he do the job? are you just disappointed that you didn't get the job? In which case, you just have to 'grow up and get on with it' (sorry, sounds harsh, don't mean it to be.

Dh was passed over for promotion last year, and the guy who got the job was just incompetent (in dh's opinion). Dh cut his losses and left.

Easy - thanks...I am disappointed I didn't get it (was the odds on favourite and then the outsider pipped me at the post...). I think he can actually do the job, but I don't like his management style (he's a touch of a micro manager).
Can I get over it? _ really looking like the answer to that one is 'No', but need to keep things sweet whilst I plot my next move...

I've been in a similar situation some years ago ... really hard so I feel for you now. The only way I could handle this was to kind of reinvent myself - new suits, new haircut, made myself feel generally fantastic then, I made it my mission to work as damn hard as I could, whilst being the totally professional, friendly, flexible, employee of the month just to show "them" that they'd made the wrong choice!! Finally, I got myself a better job.They were pi$$ed off I was leaving, but gave me a fantastic reference, I had after all, worked my ar$e off!! Good luck.

Yes, you do need to keep things sweet, you might need a reference

Dh stayed for 3 months after he'd decided to move on, looking for the right next move. In the meantime, you need to try just 'getting on with the job', doing exactly your job, to the best of your ability. Try to let the petty irritations of work (which always seem much worse in this situation)wash over you. Make up for it by having a good time outside work hours.

Can't suggest anything else really

If all else fails there is always the "I'll imagine that you are naked, except for a frilly pinny when I talk to you approach". I finds that it distracts my brain enough for the things I'm thinking, like "I think you're an utter eejit" don't leak through non verbally.

Good luck

Thanks ....helps to know I'm not the only one who has had these moments!