Starting to drive again after a BIG break from it

[Fio2]

am I the only one? I am coming out in a cold sweat even thinking about it. I passed my test at 17 drove for about a year or two, then sproradically drove. gave up. had some refreshers and gave up again. I really need to start driving again as dd is starting school in september and although she will have transport to the special school I will have to take her to her mainstream placement, which is 3 mile away. How do I get back into it? I feel sick even thinking about it!

I think you just have to jump in boots and all. When I came to germany I started driving the very next day - and that is with steering wheel on the wrong side and driving on the wrong side of the road with signs I didn't understand and faster then I'd ever driven before. I knew that if I hesitated I would be lost. I have expat friends here who are in your position now and it is very hard for them. What about putting on your favourite music and starting out just driving round the block for the hell of it. I reckon initiall you might be better off doing it alone, with no witnesses to any minor blunders or people to tell you what you are doing wrong.

I know you are right Aussiesim. I just need to do it. I 'could' drive round the block, I know I could. I just cant. I keep thinking I will put it into 5th gear instead of 3rd and that kind of thing.

Fio, have some more lessons! I don't think the way you feel is that rare, tbh (marthamoo feels the same for one) so ring up some local driving schools and tell them the situation, I bet they'll have come across it before.

Driving a school car with dual controls will take some of the pressure off you while you get some confidence. Good luck!

you sound just like me three months ago.

learnt at 17 didn't drive, had refresher lesson 2 years ago and stll did drive then DH started to car share and i could see the car sat outside the house doing nothing begging me to take it for a spin, so i just did.

stil hate driving and will walk, catch bus ect if i can but it is very useful.

i think i would have to say just go for it

just to add not sure more lesson would be the answer i could do it with someone else in the car that wasn't scarey it was doing it on my own with DD in the back

I am glad I am not the only one who feels like this! I will book some refreshers I think. Today? katz did you worry about getting the gears wrong? I think the only reason I do worry is because I learnt in a 4 speed car and then my first car was a 4 speed aswell.

I am so stupid I did loads of driving in my dads large van which had steering cloumn gears, you think I would be able to drive a normal car wouldnt you. What has happened to me?

should have said our car is a 5 speed and thats why I am extra worrying. Gawd I am panicing now

I'm in the same situation, passed my test them didn't drive for a year bought myself a brand new car first time out in it I scrapped it off a wall then I hardly ever drove it after that. I developed a right fear of driving, practically having panic attacks if I even got in the drivers side.

Anyway I haven't driven for over 3 years but last year I had hypnotherapy and went for additional lessons with an instructor. After the first one he said I was wasting my money and could drive fine (was driving in Central London as well).

We are now about to buy a car as don't fancy getting on and off London buses with a pram. I'm petrified about driving with a baby in the back but at the same time so annoyed with myself for being so pathetic. I know I have got to do it this time though

Good luck fio I hope it works out for you. I'm planning just to start off really easy driving to the local shops and back on my own and see how I get on.

I feel exactly the same sweetkitty. I feel annoyed with myself aswell because I know once I get into the swing of things again I will be fine. I think short journeys first is a good idea

Agree with having some refresher lessons and going out on short local trips to practice. Also, DON'T worry if you hav a bump or scrape, don't let it put you off. Everyone has a little bash now and then and, if it happens, don't let it get out of perspective. I have to say that I love driving, espeically around Central London (don't have to pay congestion charge due to DS's blue badge, you to fio2). The anti-driving lobby forgets that a lot of people actually LIKE driving and like their cars, its not always just a matter of getting from A to B.

The anti driving lobby should come and spend a journey to the cinema with me there and back then do it with a car and see whats easier. Waiting 20 minutes in the freezing cold rain, bus turning up having to stand on it, then sitting upstairs when a bunch of teenagers get on swearing, smoking makes you feel really threatened. We got the bus home from the hospital the other week and it took 45 minutes door to door, got a taxi last week and it was 7 minutes, I kid you not. Sorry to hijack your thread fio but it really annoyes me people telling us we should use public transport more.

Agree with refresher lessons - I hadn't driven for 3 years when I had to start driving again. Tried driving around a really quiet block with hubby in the car and nearly fell apart!

In the end only needed two refresher lessons to get my confidence back, if anything I'm far more confident now than I ever was when I was driving before the break.

Oh, and amusing bump & scrape stories...

I have a car with reverse parking beeper things, so had got really blase about reversing in it. I had a really stressful day and ds1 was having a major tantrum in the car, I was stropping back (yes, very mature I know). Threw the car into reverse to get out of the parking slot and go home and managed to reverse straight into the car behind (and no, the parking beepers weren't broken!) Fortunately, the car behind was a huge range rover and no damage was done to either vehicle. I drove home VERY VERY carefully after that and have never been complacent about reversing since!

Ds1 still finds it hilarious to giggle "beep beep beep beep beep BANG!!" every time he goes to sit in his carseat, even though the incident was over a year ago now...

btw fio, you have to actually move the gearstick sideways and then push it into 5th as a rule, as you do with 1st - when you want 3rd, it will slot straight in forwards with no sideways pressure, IYSWIM, you can do it with a couple of fingers practically. (And even if it does go into 5th by mistake there's no harm done, the car just won't accelerate, so you can have another go!)

My door mirror twanged a parked car's door mirror yesterday and there was someone sitting in it!!! I have been driving for over 30 years now and consider myself quite a good driver but still make silly mistakes sometimes, bump into those invisible short pillars in supermarket car parks, stall at lights, parallel park at 45 degrees etc, nobody will know that you are any different (apart from obviously being a bit younger than me!) so don't feel they're all jeering at you if you do something like that - just calmly start again.

GA, LOL at beepbeepbeepbump!

Sit in the car while it's parked and have a bit of a play with the gears!

Fio2, i passed my test just before i had dd and after i gave birth i lost ALL confidence.
DD is now 3 and i just potter around locally really.
Well, i got fed up the other day and just said,'right i am going somewhere new'.
I actually went onto the motorway.ARGHHHHHHHH and i wasn't even scared after 3 years of sweating at the prospect.
Just tell yourself that you're confident, even if you don't feel it and remember, the other cars are only people like you and we all make mistakes and get in the wrong lane.

GOOD LUCK++

Hi Fio, I can sympathise with your worries about changing gear. Why don't you practise using the gear box with the car stationary and the engine turned off? As Janh says, usually the way a 5-speed gearbox works is that you have to push the lever over as far to the right as it goes to get into 5th. In my car, the gearbox is sprung such that if I just knock it into neutral, then push it forwards, it goes into 3rd (and if I pull it towards me it goes into 4th). For 1st and 2nd I need to push it across to the left from neutral and for 5th push it to the right from neutral. Until I realised this I would often go from 2nd to 5th (having always driven a 4-speed before I got this car) because I was used to pushing it forwards and then across to the right as far as it would go and then forwards again to get into 3rd. Now I push it forwards and let it go into its neutral position, then forwards again and hey presto I'm in 3rd, IYSWIM (and to get from 5th to 4th again I move it into neutral and then pull towards me, that avoids accidentally going from 5th to 2nd). This all sounds cumbersome but it's not, it's just a question of getting used to it.

HTH!

thanks on the gears advice! glad I am not the only one to worry or lose confidence in driving. I really feel that I need to do this now. I just had to admit it.

I remember the first time I took my mum out for a drive after I passed my test. I took her to Wolverhampton, shopping. I had planned my journey in my head and was going to park on the civic car park by the theatre and the uni because that way I wouldnt have to go round any of the ring roads and one way systems. So off I went with my mum who looked like she was on a white knuckle ride holding tightly onto the seat. But when I got there the car park was full so I had to park on the other side of town and go round all the ring roads in rush hour! I eventually found a car parking space to reverse into, except I reversed into the wall and bounced off it.

The first thing my mum said to me was 'I'll drive home'