feel like I'm cracking up........(MIL problem)

[2wildbabies]

I am not having a great time. I think I am cracking up. I am always so concerned about my MIL. It bothers me that she doesn't really talk to me or ring to see how I'm coping with my two children. She sees her grandchildren maybe once every three weeks or so.........she doesn't make an effort to come down any other time.

But it really upsets me that she never chats to me.....even when she comes down. SHe only rings the house when she knows she'll get my husband on the phone, and this bothers me. She blames me for my hubby and his brother not talking (even though this has nothing to do with me. Hubby's brother and family have never spoken to me, I have tried, but they refuse to speak!!!)

I just feel now like I am losing my mind. I don't even want to be married anymore because she can't bother me anymore then. I really just want to get my life back.

Sorry, I'm whinging.....I just don't have anyone to rant to.

Thanks for listening xx

2wildbabies ...
There are loads and loads and loads of Mumsnetters who understand and are sympathetic to MIL problems. Me included.
My In Laws are a constant enigma to me ... I come from a close family and for the life of me I just can't understand how people who are in a family just don't care about eachother.
My MIL isn't too bad but it has been 10 years of pretty hard work to get some kind of relationship with her (she recently told me that she thought I was a good mother - I nearly fainted!) ... I think it has just been a case of me working out what makes her tick. She is very different to my own mother who is very very maternal and grandma-like. MIL smokes, drives a quad bike around her farm, drinks like a fish and finds it highly amusing to fart in public - she is not a 'loving' person and admits to being a loner. She can handle having visitors at her house for a maximum of 2 nights and then she can't stand it anymore, and when she stays with us 4 nights is her limit.
It took me a long time to work her out and now I accept her for who she is and I have stopped wishing that she was more like my mum ...
Like your MIL she never used to phone to speak to me, only to DH and then only for about 3 minutes (she was always thinking of the bill but she is loaded!). It has only been this year that we now have fortnightly chats .... I don't know why but something somewhere changed ...
I won't even start talking about FIL and Step MIL ... except to say that the lack of paternal and grandfatherly interest always has me open mouthed. Although I have never wanted not to be married to DH because of them I have often thought "What on earth did I get myself into?" and I have told DH before that I am frightened he will turn out like his father.
DH also has a brother and a sister that he never ever ever EVER speaks to ... I don't think he even knows where they live ... I find that very very odd. They never fell out or anything - they just have no relationship at all. He has a sort of relationship with his other brother and is close to his younger sister but even they don't speak often ... only once every 2 months or so.
I on the other hand speak to my parents every week and my sister and I are in contact (texting, MSN or phone) at least 2x a week (I live in NZ, my in laws live in NZ and my family live in the UK)
What I am saying to you, twowildbabies, is that I sympathise and you are not cracking up ... just try and accept that some people don't have the same values as you do and try to rise above it if you can ....
Hugs {{{}}}