INTROVERTS THREAD 2! Where we revel in enjoying our own company!

[CoconutOilWink]

Thread 2 as the other one was full, and I have only just discovered it!

Original started in 2012 by NorksAreMessy, see her original post below...

NorksAreMessy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:04:28

Hello fellow introverts. I hope the last thread exploded due to time since it was started, and not because it was controversial. grin

I started the original thread after reading the wonderful book quiet and realizing that I was not alone.

Lots of people were kind enough to share their thoughts and experiences, and it was a good support for those of us who like being alone; hate parties, especially hen nights; love reading, crafting, walking, painting, creating; enjoy solitude; need some recovery time after being in a crowd; prefer thought to action.

We are not necessarily shy, we can be confident and even outspoken, but we are at our happiest having a bit of a think on our own, thanks all the same

It's a bit odd to have a group of introverts, but I prefer to think of us as a collective. Separate but together.

As Christmas approaches, I thought we might need a thread to help us through it all

Anybody from Staffordshire area?

lbrc - yes, South Staffs.

Most of my family and friends are introverts, too, so we are all absolutely fine sitting reading in corners together.

One of my best friends is very extroverted and we rehard each other with tolerant bemusement.

My stepmother and MiL are both the sort of highly socially skilled extravert who is fairly relaxing to be around as they are excellent conversationalists who ask interesting questions and listen properly to the answers.

So I'm pretty fortunate, really.

Oh god yes, a little garden retreat! I was actually considering keeping back £20k from the sale of my house and buying a camper van so I could just bugger off if it all got too much! Not sure how DP would feel about that, but I think a sanctuary of some sort is a must. He wants a games/cinema room so I'll nab an office/art studio - this house is getting bigger by the day!!

Bit of fun - Buzzfeed quiz to tell you if you're an introvert/extrovert

I'm very proud to have gotten introvert, so I know my own mind!

Enjoying reading "Quiet" by Susan Cain so far...anyone else on this thread a sahm? If so, do you plan to go back to work? My 2 children are at primary school and i don't really have any pressure from my husband to get a job, I do however, feel pressure from myself to get a job but the thought of working with other people folks me with dread! I quite enjoy being on my own in the house cooking and cleaning! Any one else feel the same? I would love to do something from home, have been looking at Avon, Phoenix trading etc but think they probably involve talking to people in order to sell anything!

Hello, is there room for one more? I'm struggling a bit with having zero time for myself at the moment. My daughter has just turned one, and my DP and I haven't had any help from family or friends since she was born. Some live very close so it's been a bit of a surprise. Not that I expect a lot but a few hours once a month would be nice. I'm upset that they have no desire to make a relationship with my girl, but anyways that's how things have worked out. We co-sleep, I'm breastfeeding and it's exhausting. My DP is great with her but he works all week and is introverted too so we try to recoup together and it's just not enough for me! I just wanted to ask those of you with children, how did you cope when they're so little and demanding? I've got 'Quiet' sitting next to the bed but I've only managed to read the intro so far. The in laws are here this weekend and I'm really not in an entertaining mood.

Oops sorry it's a bit of a ramble! Wishing you all lovely quiet weekends

The in laws are making it worse - it won't be as bad when they leave.

It's hard at that age. Things that helped me were:
Going for long solitary walks with DD in the pushchair when she might sleep.

Arranging an alone afternoon with DP, so for one afternoon a weekend, you take DD out and he gets alone time for, say, 2 hours, and the next Saturday afternoon he does the same for you. This can be combined with long walks for the person going out.

I was still breastfeeding then, and the quiet breastfeeding sessions sort of counted as alone time when I could read a book and have my own thoughts.

I did spent too many nights staying up to 2 am just to get solitude, though, which wasn't ideal.

Thanks Broomstick. I've been awake since 3am for some solitude too. It's nice to know that this is the norm for now and it IS hard - but it will get easier as she grows.

I find parenting 2 boisterous DCs as an introvert really draining and it makes me irritable with them & then I feel guilty. I think they are old enough for me to explain to them how I need quiet time sometimes, but wondering how others have coped? Any top tips?

Distraction. I rely heavily on the "Look! Dinosaurs!" strategy which send my two thundering off into their room shrieking and growling and pretending to be ankylosauruses (battle club tail, swings, knocks over furniture).

Then, whilst they are distracted I go and hide, often in the loo.

Ooo! Also! Bose noise adaptive headphones. For when it all gets too much. (I cant believe they don't use that in their advertising strategy).

Horrifyingly expensive but worth it. I got them from Santa a year or so ago. "Mummy is listening to some stuff for work now, OK? So you can play and have some juice and if you set something on fire or injure each other need me, come and get me" Then I hide in the kitchen, and they wreck about and shout at each other.

I don't do it often. I'm not a monster. Mostly I do it when DH is about to child wrangle so that I don't feel compelled to go and assist him in his attempts to keep things calm.

Had a day at home alone the other day then went to a friend's for dinner around 8. She actually asked if I was ok a few hours later as I was quieter than usual. I think I had retreated into myself by not speaking to anyone during the day. Socialising seems to be a muscle I need to keep working on else it shuts down and hibernates!

Ooh ooh! Can I join please? I never knew a thread like this existed I feel like I've found my people!

Welcome Sleepthief

The introverts thread has the honour of being the slowest moving active thread on MN

Ohhhhh I'm in! Who knew such a thing existed!

Quite right too! I'm currently enjoying DDs naptime, by myself in silence quite aware that she's going to be dropping from two naps to one soon and wondering how I'll manage without my little windows of me time in the day. Good introvert story for you- when DD was smaller and woke easily from naps I actually used to stick a note on my door that said 'please do not knock' so neither of us would be disturbed 🙈 Just downloaded 'Quiet' thanks all for the recommendation. It's nice to know I'm not just an unsociable weirdo! Quite oddly in my teens/early twenties I was the life and soul of the party. I wonder if it's possible to change from an extrovert to an introvert?

AAlittle my strategy for getting some alone time is swimming pool crèche once a week. Definitely a lifesaver. Took me ages to face doing something new but wish I'd done it ages ago.

Cherry pie, I've just joined the gym. Going two/three times a week, just me and my headphones. My friend asked me if I wanted a gym buddy, I was like 'noooooooo'! Luckily I can only go into the evenings when OH is home and hat doesn't suit her so I get to enjoy a couple of hours a week on my tod!

CherriPi- damn autocorrect!