How well do you get on with your ex?

[kimi]

It would seem i have confussed some people with the fact i talk about DH1 and DP.
I have explained it all a few times and find people amazed that DH1 and i are not trying to kill each other and fighting over everything from the sofas to the cats.

So a little re cap.....
DH1 and i were together 21 years married 14 and have two lovely children.
Sadly (maybe because we met so young) we started to grow apart and despite my begging him to go to relate and spending 18 months trying to sort us out we ended up splitting up. I think we were both to blame as there were issues on both sides and a lot of stress.

The boys and i moved out and it was the hardest thing i have ever done in my life so far.
I have a lovely new partner who is great with my boys. New partner and DH1 get on well.
We live 10 mins walk apart the boys see DH1 every day except Tuesday (when he takes my mom shopping, and has dinner with her).
They have 2 bedrooms spend time between both houses. DH1 at the weekends and here on school nights although we change it if we need to. I dont drive as yet so DH1 takes me to do the weekly shop every week.
DH1 comes to dinner most sundays and we all spent Xmas together. Just because DH1 and i are not a couple any more we are and always will be a family. Our children have taken the new situation very well and are happy and doing well in school.
I hope im not too odd, I will always call DH1 DH1 because i feel to call him exh devalues him and our time together.
Are we really that uncommon??
So how do you get on with your Ex?

Oh and by the way, i took very little when i moved out as i did not want to rip the family home apart, sort of doubled up with DS1 having the same type of bed at both homes, and DH1 has the cats

No one??? Am i too weird to talk to??

We communicate about ds by email only.

He picks him up, and we are civil to each other, and that's about it.

Left me after 11 years when ds was 17 months old. I was devastated. We have been apart 11 years.

Now think he is complete nob, and feel sorry for him.

I think it's great that you get along so well, esp dh1 and dp, as that can be tricky.
Not wierd at all, just not often heard of.
My exh lives in states, so have nothing to do with him. Think he prefers it that way, he couldn't wait to get me out of the country!!

I know some people here have had really bad times with their EXs and some of them sound real t*ats.
But there must be people who still get on after a split, i know in cases where other people have been involved, or abuse it is not going to happen but DH1 and i just grew apart, i still love him with all my heart but not in the way a wife should love a husband.
I give thanks every day that we are not trying to hurt each other and still have a good relationship.

no kids tho, so no reason to stay in touch

i'd have liked nothing better than exh and i to get on as you describe, kimi, but he refuses to have it that way, and prefers to wallow in self pity 6000 miles away in thailand

for the kids it would have been better had he stayed locally, but he wouldnt even tolerate that idea, saying he had to heal himself and he couldnt if he had to see the kids and myself

for me, the further away he is the better, but his selfish choice has had serious repercussions on dd1, sadly

my bf has only heard bits and bobs about exh, but thinks he is a selfish nob , because he cant understand how a father could just walk away from his kids

My XP hasn't been seen or heard of in 4 years now. He walked just before ds' 1st birthday and we have no idea where he is.

lou was it you whos Ex sent a video email drunk?

kimi - I get on really well with my ex - I'd describe him as one of my best friends. We had 2 kids together when we were way too young, very poor, very stressed etc. Now I'm with DP and have 2 more kids, but have always had shared custody of oldest 2, so stuff at each house, etc. And the ex takes DS2 (from second relationship) to the football most Saturdays , pops round for a drink on his way home from work a couple of times a week, etc. So no, you're not odd at all - I think we've both just been really lucky.

hassled.

kimi, well done to you guys for managing the split so well.

i don't really have much to do with any exes - but i never had kids with any of them so.......

dh however has 2 exes, both of whom give him grief one way or another.

my parents split when i was 5 and altho they were never best buddies they conducted themselves with dignity as far as us kids were concerned.

i do not understand women who use the kids to extort money - as both dh's exes have in the past.

yes kimi it was

I too would have liked a relationship with my ex where he was welcome in my home and happy to spend time with the kids we made.

Sadly he has never been anywhere near us for the past 10 years despite living less than 3 miles from us.

Your situation is not weird btw. My dad and his exwife divorced 20 years ago. They still see each other most days, visit each other for Sunday dinner and spend lots of time together at xmas and dad lets her dogs out if she has to work or her husband is away.

Glad im not odd

Well no odder then before

we hate each other. and he hasn't seen ds for a year... he is scum of the earth!