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Original poster

Oh no, dh just hurt the 5 month old baby

22 replies

bez · 14/06/2004 21:48

I am crying out my eyes out. I asked dh to hold the baby while I got the hoover out and he walked him around and slipped and ds's head got bashed against the door. I screamed louder than ds did, ran over, took him off my husband, thumped him, called him a stupid b***d, told him to get out and I never wanted to see him again. I can't believe I got so angry with him but I was just so upset, and really I blame myself, I should have waited til later to hoover and also should have guessed something might happen, dh has been so clumsy just lately.

Ds has a small but very red mark, what should I do? Is it likely to bruise? And why did I overreact like that, as if dh didn't feel bad enough.

OP posts:

islandgirl · 14/06/2004 21:52

not surprised you reacted like that you all must have got a fright. Remember babies are tough, and mine got various bumps (how old is he??)and are fine now. It may bruise but may not - how hard did he hit his head?

Lisa78 · 14/06/2004 21:52

Welcome to the club bez - DH dropped DS2 last month and I nearly ripped his balls off and fed them to the dog

You reacted like that cos you are a loving mum and of course you shouldn't have waited until later to hoover (if you must hoover!) - thats tantamount to saying DH can't hold the baby

Its a bump, DS will be fine I am sure and will have a hundred other bumps before he starts school and you will learn to live with it, honestly.

Keep an eye on him, if he gets drowsy, then take him to A and E, but otherwise, have a good cry, get it out of your system and relax

hovely · 14/06/2004 21:59

oh bez, poor you
firstly here are some hugs (((())))
How's ds now? Certainly doesn't sound like concussion or anything like that. he might get a little bruise. Cold compress I would suggest. Do you keep arnica cream at home? Boots do it, maybe you could get some tomorrow, it promotes healing and helps stop/heal bruising.
As to the reaction - do you think it could have been that familiar mother's emotion called guilt? plus a combination of fear, shock, hormones (don't know about you but I am still up & down & emotional & tearful now and my ds is also 5mths) and maybe lack of sleep and lack of time to yourself. I have been so horrible to my dh since ds was born, and some of it is taking things out on him when there seems no other way to vent it.
Hope you feel calmer and can have a cuddle or something with dh later. stuff the vacuuming.

SofiaAmes · 14/06/2004 22:39

My mum says that the first time my dad picked me up he walked through a doorway and whacked my head on the door frame. I lived to tell the tale. It's natural that you should react, but don't forget that your dh loves your ds as much as you do and probably feels worse about it than you do. Give him a kiss he probably needs it.

colinsmommy · 14/06/2004 22:44

Poor bez. It might bruise, but they get over it. It is so much easier to say that about someone else's baby than your own. My dh was watching our baby a few nights ago, and he wasn't watching our son closely, and he wobbled and hit his head. I yelled at him and called him an idiot, and told him if he couldn't do a better job watching the baby, he shouldn't do it at all. I don't know why we react that way, we just do.

cazzybabs · 14/06/2004 23:00

I hope ds is alright - just remember it was an accident and it could have just have likely been you. And it could have happened hovering or no hovering. Mind you I speak as one who has been round when dd has had most of her accidents - she banged her nose falling off a bench (that was a terrible mother moment), she has tripped over numerous times with me and not dp.
But you reacted because you love your baby - I would have done the same.

eddm · 14/06/2004 23:07

Poor you (all three of you). Completely understandable reaction, from fright and protective instinct I would guess.
When I had ds I was kind of expecting that it would be dh who had all the accidents because I'd be the protective one. How wrong can you be? I spent months yelling at dh not to leave ds on the bed (king size double); guess who was there when he fell off the first time? Me, of course (and I was inches away but had just turned round to get something out of a suitcase on the floor. And ds decided to sit up and bum shuffle forwards). Who forgot there were shopping bags on the back of the buggy and let it overbalance with ds inside? Me. I could go on and on... Ds is now 11 months and absolutely fine, no thanks to his mummy!

bunnyrabbit · 15/06/2004 10:17

Oh you poor thing.

All goes to show that housework is dangerous and shouldn't be attempted in the first year of a childs life.... well that's what I tell everyone who visits my house!!

But seriously, wait till he starts sitting up and throwing himself backwards and forwards and everywhich way. Babies are very durable. Whenever DS does this at nursery (which is lots) they always put on his form, for action taken, "cold compress and cuddles". I think this will be best for DS's redmark and your DH's bruised feelings.....

If DS starts to act unusually, gets drowsy/won't stop crying etc. you might want to give the doctors a call, other than that, don't worry... he'll be fine.

Aero · 15/06/2004 10:31

It sounds like ds will be ok - he might have a wee bruise. But perhaps an apology for over-reaction (even though I'd have reacted in pretty much the same way myself and would only consider it an over-reaction in hindsight as long as ds was ok) might be the way forward. It was an accident by the sounds of things and could have happened to anyone holding him. You and dh need each others support and understanding when ds is young (our ds2 is also 5months and I need dh's support enormously - I don't know how he puts up with my tiredness and hormonal outbursts). Dh will feel bad enough, but I'm sure once things calm down a bit you'll be able to talk to each other and just try to explain that your anger was because you were so worried about ds and was a pretty normal reaction in this circumstance!

Ixel · 15/06/2004 10:42

Dh spun round and hit ds, then aged 4 months, on the head with the edge of a dinner plate.I cried, ds just looked suprised. But the other day, when i had ds and almost banged his head into the stair rail whilst trying to fold up the buggy, dh shouted a warning, and me and the baby both burst into tears even though nothing had actually happened! I'm sure your little one will be fine, and there's nothing wrong with your perfectly natural reaction, as long as you dont let it fester bteween you and dh.

CountessDracula · 15/06/2004 10:42

Oh bez I remember this so well! At about the same age, we were looking round a house to buy and dh was holding dd standing in the doorway of the bathroom. There was a sickening THUNK and she had suddenly wobbled out and headbutted the doorframe. Poor DH was virtually in tears and we went running off to the doctor's immediately! Of course dd was fine but the first time it happens it is truly awful isn't it?

You overreacted because, like all new mums, you are very protective of your baby and if anything happens you immediately lash out. It's called a preservation instinct (or something like that ) and it entirely natural! xx

Hulababy · 15/06/2004 11:05

Oh poor you (all of you), must have been the shock of it all. Some good advice here on looking out for DS today to check he's fine but I am sure he will be. I think it happens to most of us at some time or other.

Bet you poor Dh is feeling really guilty right now though so he probably needs a hug too, with you and DS

Blu · 15/06/2004 11:11

bez? all ok this morning? poor, you, poor baby, and POOR DH! I tripped up our landing stairs holding ds and he shot out of my hands on to the carpet.Still feel sick thinking about it - but ds doesn't seem to hold it against me.

2wildbabies · 15/06/2004 11:20

Know how you feel. My dd decided she wanted to pick ds up off the couch. I turned my back for a second and he was on the floor screaming. DD is only 2 and ds was 2 months when he hit his head. I rushed him to A + E. He was fine. It is really upsetting, though!!!

HOpe things are ok today!!

Flip · 15/06/2004 11:21

Dh let ds2 fall forward last night onto ds1's train track and he's got three cracking track mark bruises on his head this morning and I applied arnica and cold compress. Ds2 is six months and I was worked up. But already having ds1 who's permanently covered from normal daily life, I calmed down quicker than if he'd been my first. Agree that your dh is probably feeling really crappy about the incident. I know my dh was only having taken his eye off him for a split second.

I fell over a couple of weeks ago holding ds2. I have a crappy thyroid problem. I dropped him on the marble fireplace but only let go at the last second. I got hurt more than he did and I still have bruises on my leg and arm from not being able to protect myself by protecting ds2. I'm sure your dh would rather have hurt himself than the baby. Thinking of you and I hope everything has resolved itself.

Issymum · 15/06/2004 11:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request

Thomcat · 15/06/2004 11:41

First off - poor you, poor hubby and poor baby.

Secondly - it's no-one's fault, these things happen and dh probably feels awful enough all on his own. No point in blaming anyone or shouting at anyone. It was an accident and these things happen. It's natural to react the way you did but accidents do happen, that's just life.

I was changing Lottie's nappy when I bent down to pick something off floor and she fell straight off her changing station. I cried for much longer, and much harder than she did. I'm so pleased that DP didn't scream at me though and make me feel worse about it. I know I would have screamed at him if it had been the other way round though!!

aloha · 15/06/2004 11:48

I've let my ds roll off a bed at my MIL's house, I bumped his head very hard on the top deck of the bus (every passenger turned round and said, 'oooh!', and too many other little things to mention. Would have been heartbroken if my dh had shouted at me for any of this.

dinosaur · 15/06/2004 11:51

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster

bez · 15/06/2004 21:13

Hi everyone, thanks for the support.

No bruise, just a barely noticeable red mark. He is fine, and has been chuckling away all day. Dh is a bit nervous about holding him but has forgievn me and I had apologised profusely as soon as I had stopped crying enough to talk.

OP posts:

islandgirl · 15/06/2004 21:19

hi bez So glad he is ok, and so are you and your dh. I wasn't very sympathetic to you yesterday so apologies for that, but all the others made up for it!!!!!

Slinky · 15/06/2004 21:20

Bez

Glad your DS is OK - also hope that you and your DH have recovered

Just to make you feel better - I dropped DS1 (then 4 months old) down the stairs in his carseat - from top to bottom! He bounced all the way down

Now he's a strapping 6.5yo who doesn't seem to be affected by his ordeal

Flip