Chain letter requesting money....

[Bozza]

The other day I received a chain letter through the post. The basic idea was that you send a tenner to the first person on the list then delete them from the list, add your name to the bottom and send it to 200 names from a telephone directory. I'm listed in the phone book which is why I got the letter. Apparently had I done this I would have been £40 000 richer in 60 days, however unfortunately I binned it.....

The logic of everyone giving someelse a tenner and then we've all got 40 grand seemed somewhat flawed to me. And I found that I was quite annoyed that someone was trying to con me in this way. What does everyone else think?

Con, con, con. That sort've thing relies on people keeping up the chain, which (thankfully) they don't. Smacks a bit of that pyramid selling business. Personallly, I'd have done exactly the same thing Bozza.

You definately did the right thing there Bozza. It's just like those "you may have won £25,000 but you have to send us £30" things I keep getting....and straight in the shredder they go!

I can't stand them, would throw them away without a second thought.

I also hate the email chain letters I keep getting, promising the world if we only send it on to another thousand of your closest friends!

speaking of chain letters... thought this might amuse!

"This letter was started for women like yourself, in the hope of bringing relief to other tired and discontented women.
Just send a copy of this letter to 5 of your friends who are really frustrated. Then bundle up your husband or boyfriend and send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the list. Add your name to the bottom of the list.

When your name comes to the top you will receive 5,327 men ....one of them is bound to be better than the one you already have. Do not break this chain - one woman broke the chain and got her s* of a b* back.

At the time of writing, a friend of mine already received 334 men. They buried her yesterday, but it took 3 undertakers 36 hrs to get the smile off her face, and 2 days to get her legs together so they could close the coffin.

Hurry up and send this letter along so my name can move up."

now that is a chain letter!

(should look familiar to you Leese!!! )

Bozza, it makes me mad too. Gullible people will fall for it and half the time they're the ones who can least afford it. It's pure greed, if they send it to 200 people and only 10% of them fall for it they get £200 back for nothing.

You only have to do the basic sums to see that the people who start it benefit, from those not as sensible as you, but nobody else does. 200 x 200 makes 40,000 people (and £400,000, they can't even get the sums right) - multiply that by another 200 and you get 8,000,000 people. And how long was the list, for goodness sake? (The PO would do quite nicely out of it too in stamps sales.)

These used to go round in the 60s but they were less ambitious then, there would be 10 people on the list and you sent £1 (pre-galloping inflation!) to the person at the top, put yourself at the bottom and sent it to 10 people you knew. In theory you would get 100s of pounds back but that also got into millions pretty quickly, certainly by the time you were at the top there would be 10 x 10 x 10 etc people in the chain, the population of the world or more!!! (But I was a poverty-stricken student and very gullible so I was suckered. )

Sorry if this takes up a lot of space, but it's a very witty take on the forehead-slapping annoyance that is 'The Chain Letter'.
Enjoy!

THE FIVE BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:

Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down)

Make a wish!!!

No, really, go on and make one!!!

Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! Wish
something else!!!

Not that, you pervert!!

Is your finger getting tired yet?

STOP!!!!

Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish Now, to make you feel
guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096
people in the next 5 seconds, you will be assaulted by a mad goat and thrown off
a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, THIS letter
isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's
how it goes:

Send this to 1 person: One person will be pssed off at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pssed off at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pssed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pssed off at you for
Sending them a stupid chain letter and will firebomb your house.

Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

Chain Letter Type 2

Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a
starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no
parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for
every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving
Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and
remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is
all a complete load of bullsh*t. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people
in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this
to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!

Chain Letter Type 3

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is
absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as
many sad pr*cks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works: Pass
this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will
happen to you like:

*Bizarre Horror Story #1 Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school
on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then
tripped in a crack in the pavement, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a
drainpipe in a flood of sewage, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not
only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!

*Bizarre Horror Story #2 Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain
letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and
so was his boyfriend. They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat
adorable kittens every day for eternity. This Could Happen To You
Too!!!Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this
letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.

Chain Letter Type 4:

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your
friends...

A friend is someone who is always at your side, A friend is someone who
likes you even though you stink of sh*t, and your breath smells like you've
been eating catfood, A friend is someone who likes you even though you're
as ugly as a hat full of a**eholes, A friend is someone who cleans up for
you after you've soiled yourself, A friend is someone who stays with you
all night while you cry about your sad, sad life, A friend is someone who
pretends they like you when they really think you should be poked in the eyes by schizophrenic
chimpanzees, then thrown to vicious dogs, A friend is someone who scrubs
your toilet, vacuums and then gets the cheque and leaves and doesn't speak
much English....no, sorry that's the scary cleaning lady, A friend is not
someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich
to come true. Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever
again.

Chain Letter Type 5:

"Quick, quick!! you have NO idea what your missing out on!! You wanna
know?...OK! just send this email to an entire phone directory of people
before the next full moon, and then...by some uncapable and impossible
means, a video clip will come (up on your run down PC that you bought for
200 quid from a black man in chapelfields, which doesnt even run video
software) showing this AMAZING thing! its SO amazing! but I cant tell you
what it is! but you REALLY have to do it, REALLY, its So REAL, honestly! I
havent got sht around my mouth from talking out my a*e, honestly I
havent!"

Whether your hoping hoping to experience a naked indian telling you the
meaning of life and why no one ACTUALLY likes Ferrero Rocher, or just
probably waiting for someone to tell you where to find some friends you SAD
SAD PERSON......IT WILL NOT HAPPEN! I CAN ASSURE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY OLD
MEN POSING AS 14 YEAR OLD GIRLS THAT YOU MET ON A CHAT ROOM YOU SEND
THIS TOO, YOU WONT GET A VIDEO CLIP. And if you do.....I'll eat my own face,
and thats a promise.

The point being?

If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you loveless or
luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.
Don't p*ss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana
with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only
savior is the 5 pence per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail,
otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?

Thanks for listening...

Elwar, that is the best chain letter ever!

I have sent it to 5 people already

Sure it was exactly 5, Enid?

I had one of those 'friends' who kept sending me chain mails. They always promised to make your wishes come true if you sent them on. I asked her to stop sending them, because these things are a pain, but she didn't. Finally she sent one of the 'if you son't send this on, you will die a horrible death' ones, which I found particularly nasty.

I lost my rag and sent her a message along the lines of...you make your own luck in life, and if anything bad happens to you, it would have happened whether you sent the email on or not. I ended it by telling her to have more confidence in herself to not rely on these stupid things, and then blocked her email address from my system! A bit harsh I know, and she did ignore me when I last passed her on the street. Oh well!

Loved Elwar's posting. I am going to cut and paste it, and email it to someone I know!