getting married.

[sarahconnorek]

hello everyone, my partner and I decided to get married next year, but to be honest we do not know the first thing about organising a wedding. i was wondering if there was any tips anyone could give us? like some sort of check list. It will be a civil wedding, the venue will be york house in richmond (London) if anyone knows of it. But other than that we have NO idea. The wedding will be mid July so it will be a summer wedding (if that helps). Please help??

Sarah

Hi

Firstly congratulations!

I'm getting married this coming Saturday in a civil ceremony so this is a topic very close to my heart! . I can't quite believe it's so close!

There are a number of websites dedicated to weddings. A couple of good ones, which will give you tons of information about planning your wedding are Confetti.co.uk , hitched.co.uk . Have a browse and see what you think. Do you have any ideas about what sort of wedding you'd like?

We are having an informal "do", so I've hired a local hall and caterers for the reception. I split the planning of the wedding into sections as it was easier to think about:

Register Office - music / reading
Reception - venue / set up etc
Catering - who / what
Outfit (me,dp,ds1 and ds2)
Flowers - bouquet, corsages, buttonholes, decorations for tables, cake etc
Stuff specifically for me - eg hair / ring etc
Stuff specifically for dp
Miscellaneous (anything that didn't fit in the previous sections)

I've got numerous to-do lists against each topic on my laptop, and a spreadsheet for costs etc. (God this sounds really nerdy!).

Anyway, I hope this has helped and good luck with your planning.

Hello,
I got married in a Civil Ceremony in October 2003. I got LOADS of ti[s from Mumsnetter's about money saving ideas.

We had our ceremony later in the day as I absolutely HATE the dragged out ceremonial palavar of weddings. Instead of having a sit down meal for a few then a buffet for the masses in the evening we roled it all into one. Married at 3.30pm, meal at 6.30pm. The meal was a 3 course hot buffet with a choice of 4 main courses.... including a carvery. It was beautiful and eveyone commented on how nice it was to be able to have a taste of everything and not have to wait for table service (starters were served at the table though). This was MUCH cheaper as the hotel didn't have this in their wedding brochure, I spotted it in their business conference brochure. It was £10 per head less than the wedding 3 course menu! This allowed us to afford 120 people for the meal.

For the cake we were being quoted £350 which I thought was waaaaaaaaaay too expensive. So I bought beautiful 3 tiered cake from M&S, hired an S-Stand from the cake decorators, then got my florist to decorate in the same fresh flowers in my bouquet..... all in all it cost £120 and looked fantastic!

The most important thing to remember is you don't 'have' to follow what people think you 'should' have for you wedding. If you don't like long drawn out speeches... then don't have them. If you don't think you need 3 wedding cars.... don't have them. My Mum was horrified when I told her about my arrangements, but we paid for it ourselves and they were amazed at how beautiful, organised and perfect the day was.

Enjoy it!!!

WWWHHHHHOOOP!. ... that's supposed to read "I got loads of tiPs...".

if you don't want a professional photographer, get a few nominated friends to take photos for you, and pay for their film and processing! I say a few, as a good friend of mine was married earlier this year. A neighbour offered the services of her daughter, who is studying photography, to take the photos (we now think it was a way of wangling an invitation). The photos were absolutely AWFUL! She had to tout round her friends for photos for her album

You want cheap weddings, I'm your girl. You will probably find the venue has a checklist of the usual things, ask the person who deals with the bookings.

We asked my sister inlaw, who is a press photographer, and a friend who teaches art to do the photos. They gave us the films as a wedding present. This meant we just got them developed, put them on CD at the same time and only printed up the ones we really wanted.

Marks and Sparks for the cake too. I went to the flower market the day before and bought red and white carnations. I just scattered these round the cake. Nobody realised it wasn't an expensive one.

I took a bus to my wedding, but that was because the cars we booked failed to turn up. Remember to ring them again the day before and remind them! In the end it was quite funny, we took a bus, while dh and his best man walked (fast) and the best man split his trousers in the process. It wasn't till afterwards that someone explained to me why he had his jacket tied round his waist at the ceremony

We made our own invitations using Microsoft Publisher. I scanned a picture of myself and dh looking drunk and happy to use on the front and printed them out on nice paper bought of a 3 for the price of 2 special at WHSmiths.

Decide what is important to you, then factor that into your budget. In our case it was lots of drink and nice rings. We weren't fussy about clothes (a bit difficult when you're 6 months pregnant) or flowers, so we spent very little on them.

We had our rings designed and made specially. In essence this did not cost any more than buying them off the shelf and we have ended up with really special rings that people always comment on. Try one of the independant jewellers in town. We had ours made by a jeweller in Coin Wharf on the South Bank.

Ask if the registrar will come out to the venue for the ceremony itself. We got married on a Sunday, so it cost about £300 for this service, but the upshot was everything was in the same venue, so there was no hanging around or organising cars and transport. We did the deed, walked to the next room where champagne and nibbles were laid on. We stayed about 20 minutes, the, as the guests got stuck in, we nipped out to have photos done. Very few people noticed we were missing.

Remember this is your day. Don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Rope friends and family in to help, it makes the whole thing more personal, and you could always ask for their help as a wedding present if you're not fussed about material things. Overall, think of what makes a good party in you and your partner's eyes, then use that as a blueprint. Oh.....and we expect to see photos afterwards.

wow! thanks everyone, that was VERY helpful. I will be taking alot of your hints. Been on the marks and spencers website to have a look at their cakes, what great prices (compared to specialist cake shops). Thanks again for all advice, let's get planning. Very excited here

Sarah

Oh, another thing- get people invoved as part of their present to you (unless you really want loads of toast racks!). My Mum paid for my dress, his Mum paid for our flowers, My Dad took photos and paid for the wine, my Mum made the cake, my friend iced it, another friend embroidered a Celtic knotwork design on my dress, another friend lent us a car for the trip from Church to the reception (in a Pub!). We paid for the food and not much else

Sarah - The cake was BEAUTIFUL.... everyone asked who had made it.

I got the 3 largest fruit cakes with plain ivory icing. It was decorated with Grand Prix deep red roses and dark Juniper Berries.

I went to a craft fair and spotted a local woman who made cards. I picked one I liked, asked for it in my wedding colours (Ivory and Burgandy) and she made 75 for £100 (inc envelopes)! I bought paper (same ivory as cards for about £5.00) and made my own inserts on my PC. It took us a full 2 or 3 days to cut them out and write them, but it was worth it. They were gorgeous and looked every bit profession. That was the invitations sorted for £125 including postage.

Table decorations can be a big expense. Instead of flowers we chose balloons. Again the were in Ivory and Burgandy and weighted down with an Ivory weight. It realy gave the place a bit of life! 14 sets for £50 at our local party shop.

Oh I'm all excited now!! Wish I could go do it all again... (GOOD GOD NO!!).

sarah in Mays good food mag athey have a d.i.y cake afair when it i has got beanutiful real flowersd on it - in pale pink colours

let me know and I can send you a copy

hi Sarah

another way of saving money on invites is to ring the Ocupational therapy department at a local hospital, as part of there recovery stroke patients often get to do block printing, i had my invites done for the cost of the cards about £25ish and the ink plus a small donation to the kitchen fund for food for cooking.

we did the full big white church wedding for 80guests sit down dinner and 150+ guest evening do for just under 4K
designer dress in the sale £350 instead of £900
local caterers who if you used their hall gave a discount on food!! £12 per head inc wine
hired the mens suits but just fro groom and best man and then bought matching tie for all other significant males in the wedding party to match.
hired the uni nightclub for evening do - cheap venue £250 plus £50 for disco and drinks to uni prices!! plus an unlimited guest list

A wonderful idea I saw at an anniversary party was disposable cameras as part of the table decorations. One or two were on each table and the guests were encouraged to take photos of all those little odd moments the official photographers miss out on.

If you are thinking about presents, why not ask for vouchers rather than have a wedding list. When we got married we really weren't fussed about presents, being in our 30's with a house already. However, we were thinking of buying a washer/dryer. If anyone asked us what we wanted, we asked for John Lewis vouchers. That way even our unemployed friends who couldn't afford more than a fiver contributed to a wedding present we really wanted and use daily. In the end we had more than enough for the machine and some lovely new saucepans I had coveted for years as well.

Congratulations Sarah - How exciting!

oooo - We got married at York House!

It is a really lovely place. Which rooms are you using? How many people are you planning to invite? Are you using the in house caterer? We didn't, but he was very helpful and gave us lots of good advice. I've heard from a couple of other people who've had their weddings there that his food is very good too.

I very much second what Toothache and slug have said- work out what's important to you and concentrate on that. For us it was food, booze and having all our favorite people there. We weren't bothered about cars (used taxis) or clothes (although we did manage to spend quite a lot on clothes anyway!). One of my mum's friends made a fantastic cake. Aunts and more of mum's friends did all the flowers (except my bouquet).

We had the most fantastic day!

Good Luck!

footstep
x

PS

The registrar from Richmond was lovely - really helped calm me down and was very friendly and smiley. Everybody said what a lovely ceremony it was.

You've got loads of time to sort everything out, so don't feel too daunted. We didn't choose our readings and music til a couple of days before!

hiya can I just suggest another brilliant site. Its called \link{http://www.mygroovywedding.com I started going on there three years a ago and I've now been married two years but cannot leave. Its very imilar to mumsnet in the way everyones really frindly and helpful and theres no bitching which seems to get in the way on a lot of the sites.
Have fun organising and enjoy your big day
Bron

ok I dont understand how to put links in whatever i do I never seem to get it right but you get the idea

How exciting: congratulations. Haven't read all the tips but I have two. One is to move your flower decorations around (some of them anyway): assuming you get married in one room and have the reception in another - you don't need to double up on free-standing decs just give two or three friends the specific task of moving them at the end of the ceremony. I think it's quite standard. Also if you have bridesmaids they won't want to carry their bouquets around all day so get them to put them on top table.

My other tip is a more general one: SOMETHING WILL GO WRONG. The key to a wonderful wedding day is not having everything perfect - there's no such thing. IMHO the key is remembering that although you can have lots of fun planning the details, THEY'RE NOT IMPORTANT. The important thing is that you're marrying the person you love infront of your friends and family and if the flowers turn up the wrong colour(happened to me) or the cake isn't at all like you imagined (happened to me) or you can't play the music you planned for your first dance (thought it was going to happen but someone did actually save the day in the end) it doesn't matter. I had an amazing wedding day and loved every minute of it - and it was because of the amazing thing I was doing and because the people I loved most were there. Have loads of fun planning - and remember to have fun on the day

Glad to see lots of other peopl;e have money-saving tips - mine always sounds kinda tight-fisted and weird. If you get married on a weekday (not Friday obviously) you can often negotiate heaps off of your costs for various things. I got married on a Thursday (which was also in winter) to save money as my parents were paying for everything (I was quite young). This might not work for you if you've already chosen a date, but we saved between 25 and 50% on venue, cars etc, so thought I'd add it in for my tuppenceworth!

Hello & many congratulations.

I got married in April and it was wonderful (even if the planning was more than stressfull). It was a fantastic time and worth every penny!!!

I got hold of a couple of wedding magazines which have checklists of how to plan the perfect wedding and just went from there.
I do think its important to have an idea of how you want to feel on the day. that way you well get the wedding you want even if you have to compromise on some things!!

Can i give you a little tip - get your rings handmade. We went to a great company called the Wedding Ring Workshop (speak to a guy called Vincent & based in Hatton Garden, London) and got a fantastic deal for my engagement & wedding rings (all platnium & engraved).

Good luck and have fun!!!

I went to a flower wholesalers the morning before the wedding and bought 100 quids' worth of different flowers and foilage that matched my colour scheme. I bought a loads of cheap box glass vases for table decs and one of my MIL's friends who does flower arranging helped us. She did one vase to show us how it was done then we copied the rest. She then did 2 big displays. I bought some of those nice big lilies that look like little bugles for my bouquet - and just tied them together with matching ribbon. My 2 bridesmaids carried little embroidered bags from accessorise instead of flowers.
On the tables we also scattered gold stars and did all the place settings and menus ourselves to match the invites, which we also did ourselves.
Another tip for music at night - we made a loads of tapes with all our fave songs and got a friend's brother to co-ordinate the tape changeovers for the dancing at night. Started off with a few Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra songs then moved onto Abba, 80s (showing my age!) then more recent stuff. We hired a big music system and disco lights - not very expensive at all.
My cousin made a huge chocolate ganache cake which we decorated with red berries and ribbon.
The day before was quite busy, as you can imagine but it was really good fun as well - everyone really felt part of the day.

Hi,
Congratulations!!

I got married in 2002 and confetti.co.uk was my lifesaver at the time
It has so may people doing exactly the same thing as you. Just the same as these mums and babies sites.

I made my own invitations because I wanted to, I love crafty things like that. It was hard work doing it every night after work but I was so proud of myself at the end.
I got the ribbon from a fab site in the US and it was so cheap evening posting it here.

I also used M&S for their cakes as we wanted some fruit and some sponge( my dh & I are not mad on fruit cake, we also hate marzipan!)
The looked great with some flowers around them.

With cars we used a local firm who had some very smart Mercedes that looked great. We did not feel like forking out huge prices for something neither of us were too bothered about.

In the summer there are often great deals of champagne at places like Majestic etc etc, worth checking out.

I can't think of anything else right now. If you want to ask anything email me and I will try to check back another time on this thread.

Main thing is to make sure you have fun planning it but not to get too stressed. I know that I let myself get so wrapped up in it that I hardly spoke about anything else sometimes.

Congrats again!