my friend emailed this i was PMSL so i thought i wouls share;
I walked into a sallon and asked vey loudley
"how much for a shampoo and blow job?"
I turned round and walked back out, my husband didnt say anything he knew better
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the womens type i had been using. After brousing for a few minuites i was i was approached by a very good looking sales assistant, he asked if he could help me without thinking i looked at him and said "I think i like playimng with mens balls"
My sister and I were at the mall when we passed a stall that sold candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display, the boy behind the counter asked if he could help,
I replied "No im just looking at your nuts"
While in line at the bank one day, my toddlier decided to release some energy and run amock.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after recieving looks of disgust from the other customers.
I told her that if she didnt start behaving "right now" she would be punished, to my horror she looked me right in the eye and said in a voice just as treatening;
"If you dont let me go right mow i will tell granny i saw you kissing daddys pee-pee last night"
The silence was defening, I mustered up the last of my digninty and walked out the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing i heard when the door closed was screems of laughter.
My 3 year old son had a lot of problems potty training and i was on at him constantley. One day we were out at lunch. It was very busy with a full resturant, while enjoying my lunch i smelt something funny, so i checked my 7 month old daughter and she was clean. Then i realised that Danny hadnt asked for the potty for a while, I asked him if he needed to go he said "No"
I kept thinking "Oh god hes had a accident and i havnt got any clothes with me" Then i said "Danny are you sure you havnt had a accident?" "No" he replied. The smell wes getting worse. So i asked once more "ARe you sure you havnt had a accident?" This time he jumped up, yankek his pants down, bent over,spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MUM ITS JUST FARTS!" While 30 diners nearley chiked to death laughing he calmley pulled up his pants and sat down.
What happens when you predict snow and dont get any?
We had a female news reader that the day after it was supposed to snow and didnt turn to the weather man and ask "So Bob wheres that 8 inches you promesed me last night?"
Not only did she have to leave the set so did half the crew laughing so had!
it made me laugh