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Original poster

How do you stop a silly altercation with s/o you don't know from ruining your day?

23 replies

utterlyconfused · 31/01/2007 09:08

I'm not interested in people who don't get wound up at all, I would like to hear from people who would potentially stew all day (a man has just had a go at me about my parking - he sat in his car and waited for me to come back and was an idiot) and would like to hear your methods for moving on!

I'd like to draw a picture of him and throw rotten eggs at it but I can't draw and don't have time anyway.

OP posts:
southeastastra · 31/01/2007 09:08

i find posting on here is quite good, parking always gets my brain whirring too

Original poster
utterlyconfused · 31/01/2007 09:12

Yes, I s'pose that's partly why I've done it, but I would also like not to have to take the time, and to get on with what I need to be doing, with some simulatneous technique to wipe him off my shoes.
I feel so patronised. Wish I'd said half the things I've thought of since.

OP posts:
southeastastra · 31/01/2007 09:13

what did he say?

Dior · 31/01/2007 09:15

Message withdrawn

Jimjams2 · 31/01/2007 09:15

Oh god its awful isn't it. I remember on ds2's 4th birthday I took him and ds3 into a shop. The wheel fell off ds3's buggy. I had piles of shopping, so I took him out and tried to fix it along with the man from the shop (no chance it had sheared off). Ds3 was running aroound like crazy so I was trying to pick him up, then this woman came in almost knocked him over - I was behind grabbing him- and had a real go at me. Started screaming about how i should cotrol my child (she was puce with anger), so I tried to explain by pointing at the buggy and she started shouting about how I should care more about my chiuld than my buggy. All day I wished I'd replied that I did but I somehow had to get back up the hill with 2 youg children and a birken buggy and a pile of shopping and maybe she would like to lend a hand rather than stand there screaming at me" grrrr still gets me riled a year later

i just moaned about it to everyone and anyone who would listen!

bakedpotato · 31/01/2007 09:17

I used to get very wound up about this sort of thing, it really dragged me down. Then I'd feel like they'd won twice over.
Now I try to concentrate very hard on the fact that only a few people are like this, most people are nice and helpful. It is true, you know.
He's an arse, let it go.

mysonsmummy · 31/01/2007 09:17

watching with interest. when something annoys me i spend ages going over in my head what i should say - but it end up annoying me. i try and stop thiinking about it but cant. have a good day despite that tosser!

aDad · 31/01/2007 09:21

i wish i knew the answer to this!

Like you, I'm terrible at 'moving on', I just re-enact it in my head for the rest of the day thinking of all the things I should have said.

aDad · 31/01/2007 09:22

just like mysonsmummy then

Twiglett · 31/01/2007 09:23

breathe it out

and then say very loudly

FUCK HIM .. FUCK THE LOT OF YOU

and go and eat chocolate

fruitful · 31/01/2007 09:31

Mmm, chocolate, definitely.

My method only works if you believe in a spiritual realm ... I pray for the person who has upset me to have a really really lovely day. Every time I start re-enacting it in my head, I force myself to stop and pray for nice things for them. I don't particularly want my prayers to be answered! But it works. It stops me getting all wound up, stops it completely in its tracks. And I get to feel morally superior, too.

Or you could try a creme egg.

SarahJaneSmith · 31/01/2007 09:36

What a horrid start to your day.

I was once spoken to really, really aggresively by a white-van driver. My passenger leaned over me and shouted at him 'I know your wife!' He sped off looking really sheepish.

She didn't know him from Adam.

Sometimes, a 'feck off' just isn't enough is it? I can loose days planning revenge. I never actaully do anything.

dejags · 31/01/2007 09:36

oooh I know how you feel.

I get very upset when this happens. Somebody once left a note on my car about my parking - admittedly I was badly parked but I was 39 weeks pregnant at the time and my peripheral vision was not what it should have been.

I always wish that I could come up with some smart aleck remark but words always fail me -- I then replay the situation 100 times in my mind afterwards.

No answer how to solve it. I usually just try to get on with something else - even if the situation remains on my mind.

Original poster
utterlyconfused · 31/01/2007 13:22

Well, fat lot of good you lot are!!
I like the choccy idea but I'd just hate myself for it afterwards so not terribly constructive.
He was right, I was wrong, I'd parked too close to a junction (just), but I am not a serial offender. I do 3 runs a day, that's 15 a week, 60 a month, and every once in a while I park badly. Really, maybe once every couple of months. And I just felt like saying to him "is it really worth it?". It was raining, I had 3 kids aged 4-8 to get out and into the school and (I suppose because of the rain) I had already driven the whole block and found nowhere to stop. It was the fact he was a man (to me, deliberatly having a go at a woman), and NOT one of the SAHD's, so NOT a regular run-doer, and the fact that he obviously made the decision he was going to have a go at me because he was sitting in his car waiting for me.
There are some parents/drivers who do FAR worse things, ALL the time - why doesn't he hang around for them?

OP posts:
IntergalacticWalrus · 31/01/2007 13:27

I'm terrible at stewing too, and most of my altercations involve driving.

Maybe I should just walk everywhere.

slug · 31/01/2007 13:43

Get onto you computer. Create a folder and call it 'twatty man' Then right click on it and choosed 'DELETE' You will get a message asing you 'Do you really want to assign twatty man and all it's contents to the dustbin?' To which you answer 'YES!!!'

I do that occasionally with the names of the students from hell. It's childish but it makes me feel better.

ItsMeMellowma · 31/01/2007 13:46

Do you know where he stays?

I would throw something at him, or his car..eggs...poo or something...Fecker!!

Okay perhaps I wouldn't but I would like to

eemie · 31/01/2007 13:57

Aggressive drivers used to have this effect on me. What helped was focusing very deliberately on all the considerate ones. The dreadful thing is that unless you selectively focus on them you don't realise how many people are kind and considerate, you just take it as normal. So count up the people who wait to let you in, let you and your kids over the road, hand you something you've dropped, make space for you in a cramped shop, and treasure them all.

Horrible people are often miserable themselves - in some cases I catch myself thinking I hope so, anyway.

Original poster
utterlyconfused · 31/01/2007 14:20

Slug, that's brilliant. Lol at that one. And eemie, I really like yours too. That's good in two ways - mainly it forces you to focus on something else but also because it trivialises the issue. Hope it's helped some of the other posters too

Thanks everyone!

OP posts:
Twiglett · 31/01/2007 16:28

I'm sorry .. I know you're pissed off and I'm not surprised

but good on him in a way

how many times does one read threads about people who have parked inconsiderately so that it puts your children in danger as you can't see the road / cross the pavement .. and people say you should speak up .. well he did ... parking too near a junction is dangerous for other people

I know, I know ... creat folder, name it Twiglett

filthymindedvixen · 31/01/2007 16:39

sLUG - YOU ARE A GENIUS.

Original poster
utterlyconfused · 31/01/2007 16:46

I know, Twiglett, I do know, and I agree. But, to me it's a bit like your friends telling you off because you had way too much to drink ONCE. I agree abou the safety thing but in all honesty it wasn't all that bad. I would never have parked RIGHT on the corner, people do that and I hate it. If I had been him I would have tutted at me too. But I wouldn't have hung around to give me a hard time unless I had seen me doing it repeatedly.
There were a good 10 feet behind me, maybe more. I know it wasn't ideal. It was just the way he blinking did it. And, as I say, I wouldn't have minded so much if it had been another mum, one who is a regular, but he was just an ignorant g*t.
Thanks anyway.
Point was he really upset me and I needed a way to put it behind me which I was finding difficult.

OP posts:
clemsterdarcy · 31/01/2007 16:51

SLUG -- PMSL that's fantastic!

Oh dear .. I get EXACTLY the same way.

It's simply because -- IT IS NOT FAIR nor accurate. Have a go at me when I'm really wrong yes but not when you're out of context.

If it helps, my first thoughts reading your post were ... what a tosser with such a boring life if he has the time to sit and wait over parking

obviously

no mates
nothing more interesting to do
smelly with a small penis

pity him instead ... much better use of your energies

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