Do you ever feel like your achievements are dismissed by your friends?

[yorkshirelass79]

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Sounds to me like they are envious of your current good situation.

Oooooohhhhhhhhh yes! Sometimes I think people forget that I was married to an alcoholic, was skint for most of the time with him, worked my butt off to get out of the situation, had a damn rough time in between meeting my now DH2. I'm in a nice position now but I bloody deserve it thank you very much.

I know what you mean. I always think that if you have badly behaved children, a bad relationship, other problems etc people can be very quick to judge and comment on what they would do differntly. However, if you appear to have none of these things, its not because you worked hard to get things right, it is somehow good luck.

I get the 'You're so lucky you're children are so good' juxtaposed with admonishment for being 'too strict a parent' from my sisters / mum

you can't feckin' win .. ever

sympathies

And anyway, only our very closest friends can know whatever inner demons we are dealing with. Sorry to get a bit serious, but even when we know we are lucky, living in a rich country and so forth, surely everyone has had some sort of personal struggle to deal with. I suspect friend is maybe a bit jealous at the moment and this is the right place to rant if she needs your sympathy. But when you are comforting her, you don't need to belittle your own achievements, maybe you jst need to keep them to yourself for the mo

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Like others have mentioned, I think it's easier for them to attribute your lifestyle to good luck. That way they can blame their lack of achievements on bad luck rather than acknowledge that they haven't made the same amount of effort.

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Don't feel silly, that's what MN is all about. If we don't vent our frustration here we would be very stressed out ladies

I totally empathise yorks'. I have this, mainly from family, but also from friends.

Mind you, I'm reminded of a quote from someone famous, but typically of me I can't remember who. Here's the (mis)quote and if anyone knows who it is do tell.

'Every time a friend suceeds, a little something insdie me dies'.

Then there was another one from possibly Oscar Wilde, but feel free to correct ...
'It's not enough to suceed. Others must fail',

Lastly, and I'm confident this was Morrissey, 'We hate it when our friends become successful'.

I reckon it's a nastier side to human nature which we all struggle to overcome or at least conceal with varying degrees of success.

I have to say MN is generally very good and supportive. Once though, I took the unusual step of writing about a problem I was having. Someone came on and said something like, 'Ooh. Serves you right for being smug' or something and I was and .

It made me reluctant to post when I need support.

Spidey!!!! That's not very nice.

Twiglett, I think we share the same mother .

And Mia I think you have hit the nail on the head: "I think it's easier for them to attribute your lifestyle to good luck. That way they can blame their lack of achievements on bad luck rather than acknowledge that they haven't made the same amount of effort."

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I used to have several friends. Whatever I achieved it was because of luck, not my hard work. They hadn't bothered to do the work, but it was bad luck - not anything they had done. Every achievement I made was rubbished because it was just 'luck'

I also got blamed for having a nice stable family life when they didn't. I supported them in everyway I could and I knew they were angry at the world for things that had happened. But by the end everything was my personal fault.

Funnily enough I broke those friendships as after several years it got too much. I don't regret it.

Armadillo I agree. If nothing else, surely real, good friends have to be supportive and wish you well. Otherwise they're not real friends.