Oh aitch, cared does not even come close, you know I didn't have a great relationship with my own dad growing up, he used to knock seven bells out of me tbh but he is now elderly and has alzheimer's but at least through therapy I've been able to work through a lot of my issues therapy and hae been in a position in the last few years to rebuild albeit a forgiving relationship from my end with him but with my dd who is now 20, her father only turned up last year, delivering a feckin skip of all things, anyway roll on a month or two and we all met up and they then went out a few times but then he had health issues with his legs, laid off work, stopped contact with dd for a bit, gets in touch, they went out one last time, about November, I think, then dd feels a bit distant, he sent his brother into dd's shop, whom dd hadn't met before, his brother telling dd that he was very down because dd was not in touch, dd was fuming but did send him a txt saying, look let's meet up in the new year, my heads been a bit all over the place etc, her dad does not contact at all over xmas, then sends a txt in and around 2nd maybe 3rd of Jan saying sorry for being a lousy father, takes his life on Fri 12th, since find out he begged another brother to come tell dd he loves her Sunday prior to his suicide, oh God sorry aitch I'm rambling madly now but I'm so scared for dd, despite having no contact with her dad she is very like him, keeps a lot in etc, she had a thank God not major but nonetheless brief history of self harm and this evening when she came homw she had a huge blister type bur on her fingers, ok think I should stop now because it's unfair to be offloading this crap on you.