Who has a healthy relationship with Mumsnet? Please sign in and tell me your secret.

[Zog]

Because I really don't. How do you do it? I tell myself I'm only going to spend 15 minutes on MN and then I'll get on with the million and one things I've got to do. 2 hours later, I'm still here . I'm wondering whether I need to give it up completely as I don't seem to be able to MN "in moderation" at all, but I really really don't want to as I get so much from reading this site . However, I have to get this under control - I'm left with feelings of self loathing at the end of each day because I've wasted so much time on here.

So please help - what's your secret? What's your usual pattern during the week and at weekends?

Zog,it depends what else you would be doing with your time though.
If it would normally be spent watching tv,then how can it be a waste?

I spend a lot of time on here because it is teeming with charming,amusing and intelliegent people (with the odd exception.) How can that be a waste of time?

I don't watch tv and am alone with two small children most of the time (dh abroad) so to me it is great.

I do have a life beyond it though-a job,friends,tidy house,blah blah blah.

But it is sooo easy to get a bit hooked, isn't it?!?! And there IS so much to learn (some genuinely useful, some not so - for eg was just reading about the definition of a lentil weaver (saw you on there Moondog!). Very amusing thread but not sure how much the knowledge will benefit me in RL )!
Zog, try and treat it like a secret smoking habit so that other people in your house don't know you're doing it, and you can even pretend to yourself that you're not REALLY a "smoker"/"addicted mnetter"!!

I've tried the 15 minute thing - "I'll do 15 minutes ironing , then 15 minutes on Mn & back to the ironing"
I actually tried it once, I was very good, I started with the ironing , did 15 minutes, then on to Mumsnet........
Three hours later I went to bed.

Well exactly, and I used to laugh about it, but I'm now not getting the things done that I should be, which is getting me down.

In answer to your question moondog, if I wasn't on MN I would be doing chores, working (I work from home), phoning/seeing friends etc etc. Instead, I tell myself "I'll just have a quick look" at 9.30 in the morning...

Anyone else? What about all the people who have been here years - you must have a healthy habit?

OK, well, I think it's under control enough for me, occasionally dh gets pissed off with it but mostly it's ok. Here's what I do, don't know if it'll help at all:

During the week I work ft so I can't come here during the day at all, ever. I just can't so I don't! I sometimes come on at 6am if I wake up before the children or while they're getting dressed etc but only if I'm drinking coffee/eating my breakfast at the same time and there ISN'T other stuff to do. But usually there is and mostly I don't come here in the morning. Sometimes I'll come on at 7.30am if I'm completely utterly ready and so are the children.

When I get back from work I check my emails first and then come here in a short burst IF ds and dd are occupied/watching telly/playing with each other and when I've done the obligatory 'how was your day?' to which the answer is often 'ok, can't be bothered to tell you' from ds, who is 9 and at that stage!

Then it's mostly once they're in bed and after dh and I have had supper. Sometimes I'll be here 2 hours, sometimes an hour, sometimes 3 hours, depends really. Dh isn't here one night so I'd usually be here until 10pm that night.

It is addictive and it is hard to do only 15 minutes, I rarely manage it.

At weekends, it depends. We have broadband and a pc in the front room so I can pop here whenever ds/dd are occupied/out with dh/asleep in dd's case. every other weekend I only have one child as ds goes to his dad's so that makes a difference. Sometimes I'll come here for a coupla hours, sometimes I won't make it at all if we're out. But I'm usually here first thing on Sat and Sun while children laze about in pyjamas.

When I was a sahm it was much harder but I used to make myself do the ESSENTIAL stuff before I came on so it didn't matter if I was here for hours. HTH.

What I did was I persuaded Justine to let me write the weekly talk roundup

Then I can tell myself that actually reading Mumsnet is "work" rather than "leisure"

guilty feelings disappear!

Actualy I think Mumsnet need to make a small Mumsnet Clock piece of software that can nag you appropriately every 15 minutes

The other day I was pondering whether I could install a computer in my kitchen so I could MN while cooking

the SHAME

I have no idea whether it's 'healthy' btw but:

dh mostly doesn't mind and thinks on balance mn is a good thing
It prob does piss ds off sometimes but then I will say 'would you like me to read your book with you/come for a walk with me/come for a chat and he will say no so fair enough if I go and do something else I think. He sometimes wants me to watch Star Wars or something with him but I won't, refuse to do it.
mumsnet makes me happy mostly, I laugh a lot, have interesting discussions, learn a lot etc
It takes up a lot less time than it would take to arrange to meet a friend, go out, get there and back etc etc. And in the week there just isn't time, children in bed 8ish and I go to bed 10.30-11 ish.

lol Mp, you know I thought that when I saw you were doing it, I thought, ooh she has a REASON to be here now, it's her JOB!! ha ha.

PMSL at this thread

Just relax into it Zog, it only hurts when you struggle

hehe that's right now I have an OBLIGATION to be here

It's RESEARCH

Mumsnet is just STUFFED full of lovely, interesting, intelligent women who teach me LOADS and humble me (and I need humbling) and make me laugh and impart wisdom to me every day

Why would I NOT be here?

Lol - try a hungry three month old, he knows as soon as my bum hits the chair and takes a deep breath.....wah, I'm hungry again! I've managed the odd 15 minute lurk though tonite he's been asleep for over an hour so off to read the other posts!

Oh and by the way morningpaper I did not shriek! I merely drew the attention of passing mumsnetters to the mouse in my oven with an emphatic but dignified statement...

yes, I know the feeling zog. i get easily obsessed, and was def. over the top to start with on mn. now i limit myself to every other night OR day (ie. once a day), but it's usually at least 1 hr. at the wkends i go on the laptop while dh watches a martial arts movie! (or something else i would hate to watch - then we're both happy).

you shrieked like a girl

At least I didn't swear - just a little mild blasphemy....

Thanks for the constructive comments, especially www - yes, that does help. I think my biggest problem is being at home too much and having to work on the computer - it's just too tempting and I don't have much willpower.

Glad you find this thread makes you "PMSL" Greensleeves - thanks for the help

Any more ideas from the daytime crowd?

I work mainly from home, so it's often too distracting for me as well!

I generally come on first thing in the morning, when everyone else is getting ready for work/school, and then try and start work at 9 - 9.30. If I'm really busy it's not too difficult, because I simply don't have the time. It's when I've got a little bit to do that it's more of a problem. I try to restrict myself so I use it as a reward - when I've done x, I can go onto mumsnet (or the other forum that I also use).

How long have you been on MN Zog? I found that the first few months I couldn't tear my self away, but I have found the longer I have been on here the easier it gets to leave it for a while.
I hang about on the FLY thread mostly and we all get on and do bits throughout the day. I try not to get too sucked in with the Active convos. I haven't been on MN for the whole weekend so I'm letting myself have an hour or so to catch up.
Oh...and an arguement usually puts me off for a while too...if you haven't had one yet you probably won't know what I mean, but I have had several in the past and I get either soooooo cross I HATE Mn for a bit....or I'm too to come back on!

oh I forgot to say...I also kind of use MN as a bit of a rest and reward for doing other stuff....I set out things that HAVE to be done, then I don't come back until they are done....It makes it a bit easier on the concience when I then spend way too long on here!!!!

Thanks for the suggestions. I think I'm going to have to be much tougher and use MN as a "reward" during the week. I just wish it wasn't so bl**dy interesting!

I've been on MN nearly 3 years - how did that happen??

hi zog - i only discovered MN about 5 mnths ago and am hooked! but i now dont turn the coputer on in the morning and just have it on at lunch whilst DS is asleep. Then turn it off in the afternoon otherwise i have sneaky looks etc.my friends think its hilarious that i come on here. But i actually think i have learnt alot from mn. I am the font of all knowledge!

I agree use it as a reward when you've done your other stuff. This morning I cooked spag bol to put in the slow cooker sorted out the clean washing put washing in machine out to dry, put another load in. Got ds and dd lunch and took dd to preschool, ds has fallen asleep in his pram so I allow myself to have lunch and mn knowing I can!