mn jury needed-what would u do.........

[frangipan]

my 7.5 yo DS1 came home last night (which is the one and only night of the week I allow them chips-homemade at that) and said he didn't want any....nothing wrong with that, He had baby sweetcorn, asparagas and mangetout instead.

The problem is is that for a few weeks now he has been saying that he only wants fruit and veg, no 'junk' only healthy food, which is great but on probing him why he was so insistent on this he told me his so called 'friends ' have been calling him fat and Mr Blobby

he isn't skinny but he is by no means fat, perhaps a bit stocky but its all muscle. He is really fit and is in the top class at the swimming baths, he swims about 20 lengths and 10 widths with 13 and 24 yo's. He gets up in the morning and has started doing sit ups and star jumps.

I will see one of the mothers at a party tomorrow and I really want to ask in a very polite and civilised manor (don't want to make a scene at the party) if she could ask her son to be a little kinder as its starting to really affect my DS and explain whats happening, but she is known to be a bit of a moaner at school and am worried she may 'flare up'..... what do you think?

thnx if u made it thus far

sorry thats 13 and 14 yo's

No advice to give, but big for your son

Hmm, I think asking a mum is unlikely to work. Probably better to have a calm relaxed conversation with your DS about it all?

The extra exercise isn't going to do him any harm, but a funny attitude to food probably isn't great at this age. Maybe encourage the exercise and let the food sort itself out?

I would talk to him about the different food groups and how he needs stuff from each food group for a balanced diet - he could then tock off when he has different types of food over the week. If he understands what food he needs besides fruit/veg he may not worry about it too much.

I wouldn't worry about the exercixe bit.

Maybe mention to his teacher at school rather than the parent - or ask the other parent if she is experiencing the same kind of problems rather than saying it is her son as such.

Hope it all works out.

tick even!

I did have a brief chat with him last night but didn't want to make to much of it, when I asked how he felt about what they had said, he told me
" I just feel like I must be fat then, I always look stupid"

I told him that in our house we do our best to look after our health and our bodies and that we are all different shapes and sizes but that is what makes us who we are....

he shrugged his shoulders and walked off

your probrably right though nqc, saying something might make it worse.

I would reassure him that he's gorgeous, and maybe get him some clothes that he likes, in case that's an issue?

Do you or your DH/DP do any exercise? Can you include him in that? (I run, while my five-year-old bikes alongside) More exercise won't do him any harm, and might well improve his body image, iyswim.

I had a similar thing with dd1 a few years ago. I went to the mother and had a nice word (or so I thought) but got hauled into school and was told in no uncertain terms that I should have gone to see the teacher and let them sort it out. Obviously, every school is different, but thought I would let you know my experience of the same thing. Incidentally, my daughter is the skinniest person I know, and still gets called fat, it is because they know that it gets to her.... kids are like that.

I would explain to your ds that all boys his age are feeling insecure about themselves and they try to deflect this by turning the attention on someone else. They are probably a wee bit jealous of your ds as he is so good at sport. I would also reassure him and point out some well built athletes (Rugby players/Wayne Rooney/Andre Agassi - he was always on the stocky side).

thnx Lynn3 amd that sounds like good advice foxymagoo.
I'm feeling so sad for the liitle chap I could cry.

thanx also 12weeks!
My dad is a chef so we.ve grown up with food iyswim, and DS1 is fab in the kitchen. Dad has some charts in his books so I might sit down and draw them out with him this afternoon.

Think we'll make some healthy banana flapjack to.

I just don't want him to obsess too much, unlike me who is osessing frantically over it in private, thank god for mumsnetters, I love you all xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Give him a big {{{{{{hug}}}}}}