It seems somewhat rash to me not to have a wedding rehearsal when 4 year old bridesmaids are involved????

[handlemecarefully]

My SIL is getting married on 3 Feb - in church - with 3 bridesmaids (2 of them aged 4 and 1 aged 5).

I think it's a bit rash not to have a rehearsal when small girls are involved - quite daunting to suddenly have to walk down the aisle in the wake of the bride, with a sea of faces either side...and in an unfamiliar place. One of the bridesmaids is my dd and I can well imagine her getting stage fright and possibly refusing!

Dh did try and point this out to SIL but she thinks a rehearsal is unnecessary.

She also wants me to 'manage' the bridesmaids. That's all very well and good but I've only been to 4 weddings in the last 10 years (one of which was my own - and none involved bridesmaids).

So let me get this straight. They walk down the aisle in the wake of the bride - then do they take a seat near the front during the exchange of vows or do they keep standing behind the bride and groom?

After the bride and groom are married and walk back down the ailse toward the exit, do the bridesmaids follow the bride at this point too?

Etc...

i was a flower girl wen i was 5/6 and there was no rehersal... there were two of us, a 2 year old page boy and 2 12/13 year old bridesmaids and except for the pge boy blowing his nose on the dress there were no disasters. we all managed to walk in a straight line down the ailse and stand still by the alter without geting too confused

poncy american idea to have a rehersal!

Well I don't know that I agree with that . I know my own daughter and I think she'll freak out....

My sis got married in June. First up the aisle came my mother, she had the 2 flowergirls by the hand grinning from ear to ear... then came the 2 adult bridesmaids, then my sister on my fathers arm. When my mum reached the front she put the 2 flowergirls into the front pew & she took the pew behind them. The B'maids then followed the flowergirls into the front pew & when my dad had handed my sister to her hubby to be, he slipped in to the second pew beside my mum.

The flowergirls then came down behind the rest of the bridal party on the arm of the one pageboy there... they didn't need managed... they just followed suit

Although if my 2.9 year old ds was a page boy (which he isn't), I think that he would be totally unphased by it. Different personalities.

Oh yes, they had a rehearsal the night before the wedding

but there wouldn't be a crowd at the rehersal so she wouldn't get the chance to get used to that anyway would she?

if you honestly feel she'll panic you need to spend a bit of time explaining to her exactly what it'll be like and making sure she understands about the crowds so it's not a shock to her.

as for the question about what the bridesmaids do at any wedding i've been at they've stood in a line to one side of the alter for the whole ceremony but if they're very little maybe let them sit in the front row for the middle bit so they don't get too tired?

Firefairyfly - I guess I'll be taking your mums role and coaxing the bridesmaids up the aisle....

There are usually spare seats for them at the front so they can sit down once they have reached the altar. And yes afterwards they follow the bride back down the aisle.

I'm not sure a rehearsal would help as it's hard to recreate the pressure/stress of the day (which ime the little bridesmaids pick up on the most). They do need to discuss what's going to happen with them though- we said to my 4yr old flower girl 'bet you can't spot Aunty Linda while you're walking down the aisle' and it kept her mind on her quest for Aunty Linda and off the sea of faces staring at her (however, on the day about ten minutes before the service she fell over in her white dress, got covered in mud and goo and cut her palms quite badly- cue her walking down the aisle, mud splattered, hands held up shouting 'Aunty Linda just look at the state of my hands'. We have it recorded on film!). Our policy was the little ones can do what they like during the service (within reason)- provided with lots of toys and not made to stay on their seats if they didn't want to. On our video, it's lovely to hear them chattering and playing in the background as we say our vows. Is SIL prepared for them not to sit still and quiet? Because I can almost guarantee they won't!

Yes Pinktulips - I'll talk her through it and I will try and downplay it if anything I suppose...

ShowofHands - I shall provide them with a packet of minstrels each I think!

i wouldn't worry too much... most people will be looking over her head at the bride as she walks down the aisle so hopefully she won't feel too stared at... the hard bit will probably be getting her through the church doors if she's nervous so maybe have a treat waiting for her at the far end? depends on whether your sil would approve of the bridesmaids munching on sweets in the front pew though!

lol... x-ed post!

I have been a bridemaid 4 (or is it 5 now?) times, from the age of about 3. None have ever had rehearsals.

Think it is all straightforward - walk down aisle, sit on front pew, walk back down. Never known little children to be expected to stand for the whole thing.

Have a grown up sat on front pew also, to keep them occupied and sat down - maybe take some little books to look at or a toy soft doll, etc. to holid - whatever normally works!

Thanks all - am now feeling suitably chilled about the whole thing!