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Original poster

OVEREACTION or normal??????????????????

17 replies

kizzie · 05/06/2004 18:59

Hi all
As some of you might have read (ad nausium) Im withdrawing from AD's and struggling.

Anyway - its making it diffuclt to judge what is a normal reax to things.

So....... today at bouncy play area my twin sons were playing ok when I heard a scream. DS2 was sobbing. he said a boy had kicked him.. didnt think much of it but went in to keep an eye on things for a minute.

Next thing this other little boy started kicking my DS really hard (REALLY hard) in his abdomen over and over again.
I couldnt reach my son and kept saying to him to come out but he was frightened and wouldnt moved.

An older boy told me that the other little boy had been kicking out at all of them.

in the end I really screamed 'STOP IT' at the top of my voice and managed to get my son out. I felt really really upset about it and felt bad that I'd shouted at someone elses child so aggressively- plus worried that if Id been able to reach him would i have hit out at him to try and stop him.

I dont think i would have done but ?????

my two are always fighting and always in trouble but I can honestly say Ive never seen either of them kicked as brutally as this before.

A couple of other mums complained about the little boys behaviour and one of the playworkers had a word with his mum. I felt really sorry for her because her response seemed to suggest that its something she has to deal with a lot.

Anyway - would anyone else 'over'react like this in this situation or is just me in withdrawal mode??
Kizziex

OP posts:

kalex · 05/06/2004 19:03

Kizzie,

I would have responded EXACTLY the same way , that's awful. I hope he's OK now.

Sorry, if his mum knew that he may get aggressive, then she should have been watching him. The fact that a playworker had to approach her means she had totally taken her eye off what he was doing and that is not acceptable IMO.

You reacted in a completely normal way

jampot · 05/06/2004 19:08

Something similar happened to my ds a couple of months ago at a party. I eventually sent one of the playworkers in to retrieve the offending boy but not until I hissed a few words of my own at him (which I am not proud to admit) but which did make him realise I was watching him.

israel · 05/06/2004 19:09

done exactly the same!!!
Shouted in a very loud voice....you naughty, naughty little girl.....what a horrible little girl you are!!!.......as she kicked my 3yr old son for the fifth time.
It was on a climbing frame in a park...and I had watched her systematicaly do it to a few...when it got to my ds...no way was I going to politely go over and remove him as others had done...so many other mums came over to me to say they had been upset by her behaviour and said nothing...it looked as though she was on her own.

marialuisa · 05/06/2004 19:10

yep, had something similar happen and shouted at the offender. Then reported him, only to discover he was one of the playworker's kids. felt quite sorry for him as i realised he must spend all day, every holiday in there.

foxinsocks · 05/06/2004 19:10

normal - don't feel bad at all. The mother is obviously used to it. Those soft play areas are horrible when one of your kids is being kicked/hit because you can't get to them easily - that's what makes you so worked up! I have had to physically remove a child from on top of mine at Snakes and Ladders - I was a bit worried about what the mum or dad would say but they were nowhere to be seen and the kid just ran away.

I'm sure if you had gone in, the other kid would have got such a fright he probably would have done a runner anyway. You didn't hit anyone so don't worry about it - you shouted, something most of us do all the time.

shrub · 05/06/2004 19:19

kizzie - i would have done exactly the same. well done for standing up for your ds. if this happened to an adult the attacker would be charged and your son would be entitled to victim support and compensation and the fact that you feel sorry for the boy's mum shows you have real compassion and will hopefully make the other mum realise she should watch her son and try and work out why he is behaving like this. i think the fact that this behaviour is deemed 'acceptable' by some is the problem.relax you absolutely did the right thing - they were your instincts

agy · 05/06/2004 19:19

I don't think you over reacted at all. What you did was the most sensible thing to do. You had to stop him! Don't go down all possible what if routes - that way madness lies! You would only have picked your boy up anyway if you could have reached them.

aloha · 05/06/2004 19:59

If anything, I think you underreacted. I would not only have shrieked Stop, I would have told the boy that it was nasty and mean to kick and nobody will play with nasty, mean boys. I have, in the past, fantasised about going up to some kids and whispering in their ear, "At night when you are asleep, I will come and cut your legs off." Never done it of course and never will, but it's kind of satisfying sometimes.

Piffleoffagus · 05/06/2004 20:03

totally Ok reaction...
And whether or not she has to deal with it a lot is no excuse to let him run riot and terrorise other kids on a nice afternoon out.

tigermoth · 05/06/2004 20:10

Given that you couldn't get to your boy, I too think you were right to shout 'stop it'. It sounds like the kicks were really hurting him.

I certainly would have said something like 'stop it now, it's bad to kick' ie what you are doing is bad.

Just for the record ( and I know you didn't do this either, I wouldn't say 'you're a nasty boy' in this type of situation. It's the action that's bad, not the boy. You might feel he is a nasty boy but as you don't know him or his parents, or whether there are problesm, that's something to keep quiet about IMO.

Lisa78 · 05/06/2004 20:12

Very normal- frankly I should have wanted to punch the little sod
LOL aloha

Levanna · 05/06/2004 22:01

I think you acted totally reasonably! At the end of the day, you maybe wouldn't have had to intervene at all if the other lad's mum had been paying attention, and if it is a common problem with this lad, she should have been.

Chinchilla · 05/06/2004 22:01

Aloha

Original poster

kizzie · 05/06/2004 22:20

Thankyou!!!!!!!!!!! One less thing to worry about.

Dont know what I'd do without mumsnet.
Kizziex

OP posts:

handlemecarefully · 06/06/2004 11:36

Blimey - of course you should have shouted at the little beggar...and his mum should have been more vigilant!

willow2 · 06/06/2004 17:22

I'd have shouted too - and then added that if he did it again I would do exactly the same thing to him and that, being a lot bigger, it wouldn't half hurt.

But then I read a lot of parenting manuals

willow2 · 06/06/2004 18:05

And if that didn't work I'd look for a brick.

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