cheap ways that YOU TOO can be a ponce

[FluffyMummy123]

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What is poncey coffee, does that mean ground coffee?

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I buy nescafe as I collect the beans

Oh I will go and look at the other thread! I would just love to be a ponce I will have to check it out

Oh I will go and look at the other thread! I would just love to be a ponce I will have to check it out

Hmm. Didn't mean to say that twice. Does that make me extra poncey?

3rd that makes you a greedy ponce

Shop at Lidl or Aldi for poncy looking (and tasting) continental biscuits at knockdown prices.

I think this is going to be a very funny thread for all wannebeponces.

Start calling your kids a different name. It may confuse them at first but as they grow older they will learn to appreciate said name.

Tinkerbel5 - is it the Nescafe Beans that you collect?
(sorry to hijack!)

Lidls marmalade is a lovely poncey jar... looks like 3 quid marmalade, but only costs about 60p.

i give my empty bon maman jamjars (bought cheaply in france) to MIL to put her homemade marmalade in.

Invite people to 'high tea' - and serve cucumber sandwiches on plastic white bread with too much metallic tasting marge. Rremind me why that's posh?

If someone suggests taking a bus (which costs money) tell them you wouldprefer to walk because you "don't do public transport"

Go to Kensington/Chelsea specially to buy clothes in their Oxfams.

Refer to them in public as your 'classic pieces'.

Read dog eared intellectual novels

Befriend a ponce with children the same gender but slightly older than yours. Keep dropping hints about how nice the children's clothes are. Wait for Mini-Boden and Gymboree 'hand-me-downs' to start raining on you.

Pick poncey godparents to ensure poncey gifts galore.

Drive an ancient landrover. Borrow someone's red setter for a couple of days to achieve that permanently hairy effect.

make instant coffee in the cafetierre

do not ruin effect by serving in lumpy builders' mugs

Bring your Molton Brown corporate gift tolileteries hom efrom worka nd put them in your bathroom.

Do not use one of those Blu-loo things.

Find vintage copies of Vogue.

Pay close attention to the Sloane Rangers within.

Dress in this fashion.

Don't forget a big bow in your big hair.

wear wellingtons and ancient 'hacking jacket' to marks and spencer. ( but don't buy anything)