Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Other subjects

please help domestic violence

19 replies

CKMUM · 23/01/2007 18:43

5 months pregnant and as this is my last baby i was determined to make the most of this pregnancy and birth but up til now its been so stressful, i was determined that i was at least going to enjoy the second half and started to about a week ago then had a scan yesterday and got upset and now today he has started being horrible again. i am in oxford and need to get out now but have no transport, nobody to help me get away if i go to womens aid and no one from womens aid has got back to me, i am desperate

OP posts:
wurlywurly · 23/01/2007 18:45

is everything ok with the baby???

misdee · 23/01/2007 18:46

can you get a train? can you call WA again.

quadrophenia · 23/01/2007 18:48

phone the police?

CKMUM · 23/01/2007 18:48

yes the scan was fine its just because its a boy i didnt want to know the sex but it was obvious, i know its going to be harder for him to stay away he was deserate for a boy and hes left before but will want him living with hi and will make it hard for me to get away and i ts hard for me to travel with two toddlers

OP posts:
ledodgy · 23/01/2007 18:48

Whereabouts are you?

CKMUM · 23/01/2007 18:50

at home in oxford

OP posts:
ledodgy · 23/01/2007 18:51

ring them again: Phone: 0808 2000 247

misdee · 23/01/2007 18:53

ring them again. and prepare to leave. pack a bag, with change of clothes for you and child, passport, id, bank details, ansd try and secret some money away to help with travelling when you do leave.

Hassled · 23/01/2007 18:57

Call the police - doesn't have to be 999 - whatever the local HQ number is. They should provide transport to a refuge/safe house. Just do it - good luck.

Greensleeves · 23/01/2007 18:58

The police have dedicated domestic violence officers who are used to this sort of call. They really are much better at this sort of thing than most people expect them to be. Do call them, if it's just transport to a refuge - you won't regret it once you're out of there!

Tortington · 23/01/2007 18:58

you should contact yourlocal housing office tomorrow in person. they will look for a place at a womens refuge. a taxi will get you there. so you should be able to manage your children and at least a suitcase.

if you really want to get out - your material posessions shouldnt be your concern.

you should start thinking about what you are likley to need tomorrow for your children. do you need to do some washing this evening - doing some washing will not look out of place

if your partner works, the kids could go to school as normal.

then you can pack a suitcase, carrier bags etc.

you need to get together any documentation you are likley to need for your future

things like
birth certificates for you and your children
your appointment card /notes for your pregnancy and antinatal care, passports, provisional driving liscence,

you should think on how you can get some money - can you get to the bank? will you need your bank cards, credit cards.

will you need to phone your debtors and tell them to suspend your accounts ( catalogues etc) so HE cannot run up debt in your absence.

think about your housing. If you own your house - you are going to need advice from a solicitor

if your name is on the house as a tenant - He will be forcably removed and unliley to be re-housed as the perpetrator.

if the house is in his name as a tenant - the council or social landlord and evict him for this behaviour.

if its joint tenancies - it may be more difficult - you will have to seek advice from your landlord.

it is not possible to have two social housing tenancies - so if you have your name on one - getting re-housed is going to be difficult until either he is removed from the premesis or your name is removed from the tenancy.

if you private rent - i dunno!

so
clothes
document

and carrier bags with tinned goods and food etc - becuase the refuge dont feed you!
benefit details NI number
Child benefit Number

thing of all the things you are going to need -t hat you will not be able to come back for later.

you can descretely do some of this this evening. washing , gathering of documents and phone numbers you will need etc.

then tomorrow you can go to the housing ask about a place at a refuge, pack, get together the rest of what you need. arrange for taxi, phone school ask them to have children ready for collection becuase you have family emergency.

good luck!

ledodgy · 23/01/2007 18:59

here's some local police station numbers

ledodgy · 23/01/2007 19:00

DV section

Tortington · 23/01/2007 19:01

refuge will pay for taxi (i think)

but if its an immediate emergency call police now.

CKMUM · 23/01/2007 19:03

i just dont know how i am going to amange two children this age clothes for them both double buggy and cant have them in taxi cos of car seats etc

OP posts:
BuffysMum · 23/01/2007 19:05

yes u can have them in a taxi, the law states that.

Soapbox · 23/01/2007 19:08

Taxi is fine - it is an emergency situation!

Pack and go - Custardo's advice is absolutely wonderful - take it!

misdee · 23/01/2007 19:09

take buggy, one chnage of clothes. refuge will have emergnecy food for you, and emergency clothing. dont worry about car seats right now, just go be safe. in a taxi you can travel without car seats. how many children do you curtently have?

Tortington · 23/01/2007 19:16

seriously your dithering is worrying. fuck the car seats! if someone is bashing holy crap out of you, your children are going to be damaged in another serious manner.

if i can manage three on a bus sweetie - you can manage them in a taxi! do it

stop making excuses.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page