Is this normal behaviour for a boss even is he is a friend as well?

[Tippytoes]

My boss of 5 years has also become my friend, we socialise out of work too with our other halves.

He has a complete control freak and lately this has started to really annoy me. He has a long list of things which I should change about myself, ie. stop smoking, stop swearing, eat more healthy, do some exercise, sort out my overdraft (which I stupidly told him about when I was drunk!). Every single day, he will go on at me about one, or all of these things.

I laughed with his wife and said he was a control freak and she just told me to tell him to p* off, which I do most of the time.

Would you lot put up with this?? I don't expect my friends to talk to me in this way, so don't see why just because he is my boss that he can do it.

Oh yeh and whenever I put myself down, he says that I am better than what I think I am and not to have such a low opinion of myself! I wonder where I get that feeling from?

Obviously he is more of a friend now than a boss, do you really want to remind him to be first your boss rather than a good friend?

I would speak to him as friend and tell him the things I don't like butwon't mention anything about he needed to behave in certain way because he is your boss, it seems like now you have a very good friend who happens to be your boss rather than the other way around...

Seems a bit odd TT. Sounds like he has a few blurred "boundaries". It can be great to be friends with the boss, can make things a lot easier, but it will never be an equal relationship.

Sounds like he simply needs to butt out of your business. As my mum would say "he probably means well" but this is certainly damning him with faint praise I reckon!

A friend of mine always says that when someone is pointing a finger at you, three are pointing back at them i.e. he needs to look at himself and spend less time criticising others!!

He would have you believe that he is perfect!

I really like his wife, but you can tell that he has moulded her over the years into what he wants her to be - more fool her!

I think you are right Chandra about him being more of a friend, but he is rather overpowering me at the minute, and I am in a difficult situation whereby I think he isn't a very good person to be on the wrong side of, so don't want to upset him too much by saying butt out all the time - got my job to think of!

Could you try saying something neutral like 'I'll bear that in mind', or 'Yes, I remember you saying that', and then change the subject by asking his opinion on something work related?

How about starting on a long list of things which he should change about himself? Make a deal with him that you will change one thing at a time if he changes one thing on his list. But make his list longer!

It sounds like he is a bit of a control freak, but in a nice way, if that is possible - sounds like he's one of these people who when they are really on your side, wants you to be even better than you already are - perfect in fact - but sometimes they kill you with kindness!