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Original poster

I don't accept "s/he's tired" as an excuse for bad behaviour

113 replies

Twiglett · 22/01/2007 19:36

from anyone

well I nod and smile, but inside I'm thinking .. no, crap excuse

when DS / DD misbehave they do it because they're PITAs

what do you think of the age old excuse?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 23/01/2007 09:05

i think it's perfectly valid.

i'm horribly grumpy when i'm tired, but as an adult i've learned how to deal.

children are just learning how to deal w/their emotions.

CODNoMore · 23/01/2007 09:07

god twig how very UN you this thread is
have ou never been so tired you dont giev a shit?

CODNoMore · 23/01/2007 09:09

see many of my posts on mn

arf

Bozza · 23/01/2007 09:14

My DD is 2 1/2 and she understands the light on a timer concept. And 5yo DS had one from a similar age. DD woke me up this morning at 6.30 because she couldn't find her covers but was happily tucked back in until her light came on at 7, rather than thinking it was time to get up. Then at 7 it is "muuuummmmmmy my light come on" and I go get her up.

I agree with a lot of what has been written on here. My children behave badly when they are tired, particularly DS, and also when they are hungry. Yesterday DD was following me around whinging and being difficult while I was trying to cook and I am sure it was because she didn't eat much lunch (although some bread and a banana). She sat down and polished off a big plate of pork chop, mash and veg followed by stewed fruit and yoghurt and the sunshine came out. Although at least DD knows when she is hungry, DS at nearly 6, still doesn't seem to register that he is hungry or thirsty. When he was a toddler he was a nightmare if he got overhungry.

So I do try to ensure that they don't get overtired, but sometimes it is unavoidable if you want to have a life. DD doesn't always nap but I do plan things to ensure she doesn't have two nap free days in a row. I know of children who are constantly tired and it is not a good thing at all.

roseylea · 23/01/2007 09:21

Cor, I shudder at the very thought of my dcs being allowed to stay up until whenever - my dd is 4-going-on-18 and would gladly party the night away!

We have a bedtime routine which keeps us all sane and reasonably rested, which involves the dcs (4 and nearly3) being in bed by 7 pm and not getting up until 7 am. When dd was about 3ish we got her a digital clock for her bedroom and explained to her that she had to wait for the number 7 to come on then she could get up in the morning. It works really well, and ds who is younger waits for dd to wake him up in the morning.

The reason we do all this is that sleep, or lack of it, affects the dcs' behaviour so much, and the happiness of the family! Towards the end of each week we always notice dd's behaviour gets worse - more tantrums, less amenable, generally stroppier - she's just started ful time school (she's the youngest in her class) so even tho we don't excuse her bad behaviour we can understand where it's coming from.

IMO as adults we learn how to control our responses to things like tiredness and hunger but dcs haven't yet learned those social skills! They are just who they are and part of the job of parenting IMO is to teach them to understand their own responses to life and to give them the resources they need to cope - which might mean putting them to bed early, or laying down some boundaries for behaviour, or both.

Here endeth the lesson!

belgo · 23/01/2007 09:26

It's interesting that a couple of people have said that adults can control their behaviour when they're tired. I don't think this is the case with all adults - my dh gets into such a bad mood when he's tired, he's unbearable! I'm not much fun to be around when I'm tired either.

CODNoMore · 23/01/2007 09:27

agree belgo - also i am afab in the mornings - dh crap

Enid · 23/01/2007 09:27

I think some of the time when we say our kids are tired they are actually stressed (therefore bad behaviour)

Enid · 23/01/2007 09:28

dh SHIT in the middle of the night

me = ping!

CODNoMore · 23/01/2007 09:29

i am very tecthcy in middle of night
so yes IN CONCLUSION
we all have different wasy fo reacting to tiredness

CODNoMore · 23/01/2007 09:29

another one that never oocusrs to em tilll after the event is when they are HUNGRY
i knwo i am a cow when i am hungry

CODNoMore · 23/01/2007 09:30

( more bovine than normal)

belgo · 23/01/2007 09:30

Enid - I agree and with my dd, that stress can be caused by having the TV on, or too much music, especially when she is tired, she needs calm and peacefulness.

Enid · 23/01/2007 09:31

yes

I have discovered that endless reruns of High School Musical and Nintendogs training = horrible child

no telly or ds for rest of week chez Enid

CODNoMore · 23/01/2007 09:33

ahree there eniddo

Bozza · 23/01/2007 09:35

Hmm stress? Interesting. I think this is more so in pre-school onwards. I have noticed that DS's behaviour when he was in reception deteriorated through the week and also through the term. I put this down to tiredness. He is coping better in Y1 but there is still some of it.

DD also tends to be difficult/clingy on a Tuesday evening after nursery - she goes to nursery Tues/Weds/Thurs and is OK on the subsequent days. Maybe this could be classified as a stress reaction?

roseylea · 23/01/2007 09:40

Bozza my dd is exactly the same - I think we underestimate how stressful / stimulating nursery etc can be for dcs. I've helped out at my dd's nursery and was astounded by her perfect behaviour - she was an absolute star pupil - so it must be an effort sustaining that level of 'being good'. Bless her!

CODNoMore · 23/01/2007 09:41

ds3s worst ever behaviour was after a general anaesthertic
nto the day after abotu three
farkign hell
he was almost out wihtth e bins

Cappuccino · 23/01/2007 09:41

our kids have been much more well behaved during the week since we started doing sod all on a weekend

dh builds a den with a duvet in and dd1 spends much of the weekend in it in her pyjamas listening to Famous Five tapes

they are sweetness and light for several days afterwards

Caligula · 23/01/2007 09:44

Of course kid's behaviour deteriorate when they get tired. So does that of adults. But I agree that if they're permanently tired and badly-behaved, then the solution is pretty obvious - put them to bed earlier. (I think much of kid's bad behaviour is down to lack of sleep tbh., I'm always amazed to be told that DS's (7) friends go to bed at 9 and 9.30pm. Far too late for a seven year old imo.)

oliveoil · 23/01/2007 09:47

dd1 (4) is an angel 99% of the time - honestly, fab child. But come 6.30pm onwards, OMG, get her to bed NOW.

dd2 is 2 so I shall say no more and hope for the best.

Enid · 23/01/2007 09:50

dd1 was always a 7-7 girl

recently she cannot get off to sleep

last night was 9 before she fell asleep - this is NOT helping her general moodiness

CODNoMore · 23/01/2007 09:51

yes ds1 is like that
deos admin in his room

Enid · 23/01/2007 09:52

lolol at admin

dd1 furiously scribbles diary and makes stickers, tidies books etc

foxinsocks · 23/01/2007 09:52

ds is so exhausted from full time school but it's like he's wired so even though he normally would go to bed at 7.30ish, he's finding it very hard to wind down and is only falling asleep at around 9 (in fact, I posted a thread about it because he was driving me maaaaaaaaaad).

I use the tired excuse. I know when their behaviour is just general bad behaviour or when it is from being tired - there's a difference imo. They aren't allowed to get away with it in either case but I tend to be more understanding (and then more determined to try and sort out the source of the tiredness iyswim).