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Original poster

Don't know what (if anything) I should do

19 replies

Benjaminsmummy · 02/06/2004 18:20

On our road there's a little boy who's about 3 or 4 who gets yelled at by his mum a lot. She really screams at him sometimes and with warmer weather and windows open you can't ignore it.

His dad seems to get on better with him but it's horrible to hear and even DS (who's 6 mths) sometimes looks puzzled when it's happening.

Should I do something? I don't know them very well, but just feel sorry for the little boy.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:

Soulfly · 02/06/2004 18:22

Its a hard one isn't it? we have a few like that around here, i went to the shop earlier and there was a little boy of a 2 out on his own!! I don't know what you should do, what does your brain tell you to do? Just keep an eye open for the time being perhhaps.

sorry not much help.

spacemonkey · 02/06/2004 18:23

I think I'd be tempted to befriend the mum. Maybe she's really stressed and finding life difficult?

crystaltips · 02/06/2004 18:25

.... or maybe she's a nagging fishwife .... ( called crystaltips ) takes one to know one

Soulfly · 02/06/2004 18:34

lol cry, lol.

Piffleoffagus · 02/06/2004 18:46

we have fishwives here too, I've never got involved but have always befriended the kids in order to ascertain that the mum is doing ok... some people are born to nag
I should know my mum was one!!!!

emmatmg · 02/06/2004 20:11

Oh God......I really dread reading this as I always think it's someone talking about me.
Our boys are so noisy in the garden and I'm constantly trying quiet them down. Asking them 1000 times then shouting it. It never works of course, and I just end up getting more annoyed at the noise.
Our lovely neighbours are always saying how lovely it is to hear them having such fun so I suppose I'm lucky really. I just think of the whole street trying to chill out and relax in their garden and my boys, and me, shattering the peace and quiet.

Definatley try and get friendly with them, she might relax about it abit if someone else can help her through the day.

JJ · 02/06/2004 20:27

I'm impressed that your ds can looked puzzled! Mine was not so far along at that point.

I'd let it go. Screaming happens sometimes and like most road accidents, happens within a very short distance from home. After all, that's where they live, so you probably get to see and hear her worst side.

If you're worried, make her your friend and get to know what's going on. You'll be reassured, if nothing else.

roisin · 02/06/2004 20:30

Oh no ... it's probably me. I shout at the boys quite a lot, and sometimes really scream at them. It's just part and parcel of life in this house. Mind you - I do hear our neighbours shouting at their boys too, so I'm sure there's no grief on that side! I don't hurl abuse at them, but sometimes they are beyond reasoning with. DS2 got up at 4.30 am this morning, and has been insufferable all day. After a shouting match after lunch I finally managed to get him to have a nap so we could get through the day.

Does that make me sound really awful? I'll just have to sit in the corner with Emma in future!

emmatmg · 02/06/2004 20:33

I bet I can shout louder than you though, Roisin.

SoupDragon · 02/06/2004 21:03

Nooo - it's probably me!

roisin · 02/06/2004 21:11

Do you warn them? I often say "If you don't XYZ, I am going to have to really shout at you. And you don't like it when I shout, do you?" It even works occasionally

Jimjams · 02/06/2004 21:25

Nope its me. DH has told me off for being able to hear me in the street before. Mind you usuallyt I'm shouting at him rather than the kids

tigermoth · 03/06/2004 07:30

Another fishwife here too. My dh says the same to me, jimjams!

In an effort to balance things out, I try to shout praise at the end of a tirade if my sons are actually doing as I ask. So the neighbours hear words like 'lovely' and 'well done' as well as the tellings off.

Having said this, I remember an incident when ds2 was a baby. A health visitor came to see us and through our open door we heard a neighbour heavily swearing at his children at the top of his voice. She immediately picked up on it, asked me questions about the familiy and took a note of their address.

emmatmg · 03/06/2004 07:48

Another DH here telling me off and that make me even madder. His "shh shh shh shh" comments drive me insane.

Funny thing is that on his days off he'll tell them off more than I do. I think it would tip him over the edge if he was here allday everyday.

WideWebWitch · 03/06/2004 11:42

at the thought of your nice shouting tigermoth, am imagining "STOP IT RIGHT NOW, YOU LOVELY BOY!", might try it actually. Benjaminsmummy, I'd leave it too. Looks like everyone here shouts sometimes...

Original poster

Benjaminsmummy · 03/06/2004 12:31

Looks like I'm being an oversensitive person

I'll stay out of it all I think.

OP posts:

gothicmama · 03/06/2004 12:39

if it concerns you then perhaps phone NSPC line to see what they think

Wallace · 03/06/2004 19:09

Worried this was about me...but nobody with a baby in our street so it can't be

I always think it's not fair that my neighbours hear the shouting, but they don't hear the nice chat, the lovely times we have playing qietly together, or the positive comments. They will only hear when things go wrong, not when things are going right, and they will have a very one-sided view of what is going on.

What I don't like to hear is parents be-littling their children "You stupid little so-and-so" etc. So I guess what I am saying is that it depends what the mother is saying to the little boy, as well as how loud, etc.

Original poster

Benjaminsmummy · 04/06/2004 10:01

The comments are more what worries me - she does belittle him.

Realised that shouting's not the problem (so anyone who shouts I'm really NOT having a go) but he is often being told he's no good in one way or another.

I do feel like I may be a bit overidealistic - I guess I need to wait until DS is old enough to have a mind of his own and then I'll probably be yelling away...

OP posts:

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