It's our anniversary and only I remembered

[Hayls]

Sorry in advance but if I don't rant on here I'll rant at dh and don't want an argument. It's our 3rd wedding anniversary today and NOBODY remembered. Usually we get a card or at least a phone call from close friends and our parents but not a sausage. Even dh didn't bother- I said to him the other day that we wouldn't get each other a pressie but I'd got him a card. He didn't give me a card this morning, although when I went shopping I found 'Happy anniversary. I love you ' on the shopping list (along with a request for bananas and dried fruit). I saw him at lunchtime an still no card! So I thought that tonight would be when I'd get some 'us' time (unusual with a 4 month old) and get all soppy and romantic (well I can dream) but he's just phoned to say he won't be home until after 8 so to get my own dinner. I go to bed at 9!

Is this what happens after you've been married for a while? I found out I was pg exactly a year ago today so couldn't really top that but I just wish he'd made more of an effort.

I'm probably totally over reacting but I feel really hurt (not just by dh but by our families as well). Bf and post-natal hormones I think.

Thanks for the rant

It's the sort of thing that would totally piss me off too, but I'm soppy about anniversarys and things like that and dh isn't. But I think the note on the shopping list was quite sweet.
Do think he should have made an effort to be home this evening though. Sorry, probably haven't been very helpful.

Awww Hayls. If I was you, I would have liked him to have at least spend the evening with me. After all it is an anniversary, not just your normal average day.

I havent even been with dp for a year yet, but I made a big thing out of our 6 month anniversary because it meant a lot to me (a lot of reasons into that but i wont go into it) but I might as well have not bothered. But I guess its not that bigger a deal compared to other anniversaries.

Just mention it to dh and say you felt a bit put out that he didnt seem enthusiastic about it, if it bothers you. It may make you feel better

I think you just have to tell him what you expect. I've found this out with my husband (who is an excellent husband and wonderful father). He just doesn't know what to do.. so I say, "Do you know what Friday is?". slight pause. Answer, "our anniversary." Then I say, v tactfully, "I like flowers. Flowers would be nice. You don't have to do anything else."

Of course, I'm from a family where we don't really celebrate birthdays/anniversaries/whatever. My aunt sends me more cards than my mom does. But it doesn't reflect on how much they love me... (I'm hoping! )

I did go through that stage (at about 3 years married) as you. I've been married 9+. You do need to tell him. Be upset if you are, but allow him to make up for it. And learn to tell him exactly what you expect.

other people do not remember your anniversary (parents maybe) because after all it is your marriage. shame on dh for forgetting already! are you sure he forgot? make a really big fuss about how annoyed you are with this issue and he'll definettly remeber next year and the year after and the year after.... alternatively, complete his diary in january every year with your special day, big marker pen , he won't miss it!

actually thinking about it now, my dp says this is his first serious relationship (with me) so he's still learning. so just echoing what jj said, you just have to tell him what you want or what they should do, as men seem to be daft creatures dont they? what seems like common sense to us seems to baffle men

plus i think women tend to be more enthusiastic over anniversaries and things than men are

he's just arrived home and is in the kitchen making dinner. And he brought a card (how guilty do I feel?)
Beetroot, I'd love to book a table somwhere but we cannot find a baysitter that we can trust- both our families are sooo far away. And to be fair he was working late so that he was all finished by the end of the week for our holiday next week.

Feel so so so guilty now.

P.S Like JJ's dh he is a wonderful husnabd (every other day of the year) and a brilliant dad

awww well least you dont have to have a go at him now!

Aw, Hayls, and the note on the list is so sweet - he sounds great! Don't feel guilty - these things do matter more to women than to men as a rule - enjoy your evening!

I forget mine! And none of my friends or family have ever remembered and I've never expected them too. He sound a love!

Hayls - get a fantastically huge take away and a bottle of champagne and treat yourselves - have a lovely evening in and see if you can have a laugh about the whole thing now.

Happy anniversary!