Wordy people help me with a job application

[Tortington]

i am applying for a post within my organisation - its not ap romotion its just something different as i am bores shitless and can do my role in my sleep.

i have to provide a supporting statement with my internal application which included my cv and skills ( in accordence with job spec you know how it is) so have done it all expet the ....supporting statement.

so far i have:

"I chose to work for xxxHousing because I believe that I am making a difference for an organisation who has charitable objectives. This motivates me in a morning, the knowledge that I an helping to make a difference in the quality of life of many people.

i am familiar with xxxxxhousing internal procedures, I work in a team which works similarly in that we work to xxxx Housing policy framework and regulationary obligations. Customer satisfaction is at the heart of all our work.

I have an interest in developing my skillset and knowledge further within an organisation I have confidence in. I relish the opportunity to be able to work in a different way within the same organisation, to learn new things and to stretch my abilities."

how can i make it better please - i have to send it in before 1pm this affy.

thanking you in anticipation

please

Not an improvement as such, but you have a grammar error in your 1st para. Should read an organisation with/which has charitable objectives. Also the knowledge that i am.

NOt sure what you mean by "motivate me in a morning" - if you mean it motivates you in the mornings, I would alter this to read

I find it enormously motivating to know that I am helping to make a difference yada yada.

Rest reads well IMo. Good luck!

yes yes thank you so much

anymore

Impressive. I'm more of a fiction person, so if you want anything fabricated...

have redpenned because I'm too lazy to explain every change .

I chose to work for xxxHousing because I believe that I am making a difference for an organisation with charitable objectives. I find that the knowledge that I am helping to make a difference to the quality of life of many people a great source of motivation.

I am familiar with xxxxxHousing internal procedures, as I currently work in a team that uses the xxxx Housing policy framework and regulatory obligations. Customer satisfaction is at the heart of my work and I feel that this is true of XXX Housing as well.

I am eager to develop my skillset and knowledge further within an organisation I have confidence in. I relish the opportunity to be able to work in a different way within the same organisation, to learn new things and to stretch my abilities.

ta Mrs badger your a super dooper star.

dya think this is long enough?

"I have chosen to work for xxxHousing because I believe that I could make a difference for an organisation which has charitable objectives. This is my motivation , the knowledge that I an helping to make a difference to the quality of life of many people.

i am familiar with xxxxxhousing internal procedures as I am currently part of a team which has a similiar working structure in that we work to xxxx Housing policy framework and regulationary obligations. Customer satisfaction is at the heart of all our work.

I am interested in developing my skills and knowledge further within an organisation I have confidence in. I relish the opportunity to be able to work in a different way within the same organisation, to learn new things and to stretch my abilities."
dont know if this is any help, ive jigged it about a bit but essentially what youve written is just the job(excuse the pun)

ty spacey xxxxx

should i add more?

yes - they know you already. if you were an outisde applicant I'd do a bit more self-promotion if you haven't got a 'Profile' para on your CV eg:

I am a skilled [whatever you are] with [a degree and/or whatever professionl qualifications you have]. I have an excellent track record of reliable and productive [housing] work with particular experience in [resolving disputes or whatever]. I am a strong team player and display good communication and interpersonal skills. I am also flexible, innovative and enjoy change.

(Nb that para is off my CV - the last sentence means 'I'm easily bored and need exciting things happening to keep me interested' so do rephrase it if you're not )

i personally think that what you have written is enough, if the application gives you room elsewhere to say what you do in your current job, skills etc then its fine, it doesnt want to be too long or waffley

thank you
all sent - manager told (eek)

good luck!